From my mailbox: How do I deal with being scared?

A woman is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. -Nancy Reagan Same is true about a student, or a client…

Emailed Question:

Hello Sophie,
I was on your webinar (the new context webinar!) this past Wed July 17th. I don’t know if this is something that is of any importance to you, but you scare the s-h-i-t out of me. I’m not looking for a hug or anything. However, I spent a good deal of time being concerned that I’m going to piss you off and get deleted from the call.

I’ve been kicked off of a connection call before, and it feels horrible.

I realize that I need to be on these calls.

I also realize that I have to experience discomfort when getting to the truth about myself. So, here’s what I really want to know: what in the world do I or any of your other attendees do when we feel fear of being cut off? I certainly can’t go online to find another Sophie. If this issue is not worthy of being addressed, than disregard this email and this message will self-destruct. lol Thanks for reading

Mr.B.

My answer: (expanded for this article)

Dear B.

I know I am tough on the calls. I need to get the job done, and I need tough students: doing the work of transformation is not for sissies. Transformation will first cause pain and then freedom… and the pain is significant.

People who can’t tolerate pain are not suitable for transformational work.

I also use my free webinars as evaluation tools: I need to see if you can take direction.

Yet, I am aware of the privilege of being my student, given that I am the ONLY real transformational teacher out there, or if that sounds too conceited, then I am the best… But, just like Dr. Brennen on the TV show “Bones” I am not an easy person to be with: I put all my energies into doing the work, and none into being nice or being liked.

Now, with that said, here is my answer to your question:

OK, a better question is what you should do when you are afraid to be cut off…

Recommendation: say so. Something like this: I am scared to be cut off, but I really want to be here… Please help me hang on… Do it as a text in the questions box, or say it.

This communication does three things:

1. it puts you in a dialog which is incredibly powerful. Instead of being in a monolog, cut off, you go public. Get out of your lonesome…
2. It also serves as a power move: saying what is so, for you, is part of taking responsibility for yourself and what you get in life.
3. And the third thing is: it tells me that you are there to stay, and just like Source, I really need your permission and request to be powerful with you, to serve you, etc.

This behavior works everywhere: in sales calls, in presentations, in personal relationships. I, and my calls are not the only scary places on this planet… lol

I am going to publish this, I am sure other participants will appreciate your courage to ask the tough questions.

Congratulations.

Thank you,
Sophie

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar View all posts by Sophie Benshitta Maven