As difficult as dirty dishes can be, they’re even worse when you let them sit for a while. And the longer they sit, the harder they are to clean.

This is life. Something that is potentially easy to clean up right after it happens – an unkind word to your father, a lie to your best friend, an insensitivity to your girlfriend – can become a difficult mess if you don’t deal with it now.

Do the dishes today.

I have been thinking about Kaizen a lot. Kaizen can be the saving grace for a lot of people, because Kaizen is a way of life, a non-threatening way, but it is an awake way, and most of us are not awake, get jolted out of our sleepwalking by big things only. I am awake, and Kaizen is for me.

So I decided to use Kaizen to ease back into exercising. Since I stopped exercising, my face aged 10-20 years. That is a lot. I used to have no wrinkles, now I have folds, and wrinkles inside the folds… not pretty.

I have no special occasion to be pretty at, I just think that looking into the mirror should be a joyous occasion, not an occasion to berate myself.

So I am now doing 15 seconds of the exercise I used to do. I am happy. It is starting to show on my face. Hm.

Another Kaizen thing: in airplane bathrooms there is a sign that says something like this: would you be so kind as to use your paper towel to clean the sink before you throw it away?

Very Kaizen. Imagine going to the bathroom and someone’s soapy dirty washwater is still in the sink. (The airplane sink stopper needs to be manually lifted, otherwise it stops the water from emptying…) I would never wash my hand again on an airplane. But with that little Kaizen note, most 99% of the passengers follow the instructions, and everyone washes their hand. (I think that sign also reminds people to wash their hands, which many people don’t see a reason for… ).

And the third Kaizen example I read about in a Kaizen book, and it is about Toyota. The factory. They learned Kaizen from Americans… who would have thought… from Americans.

At Toyota, manufacturing cars happens on the assembly line. Nothing new there. In a normal assembly line everyone is concerned only about their part of the assembly, and the occasional errors are noticed and corrected, or not noticed and not corrected at the quality control station.

Toyota’s then CEO installed a rope switch above every workstation along the assembly line, where workers were asked to pull the rope every time they noticed an error in the work on the half-assembled car in front of them. The pull stopped the assembly line, they corrected the error, and pulled again to re-start…

It was a heretic idea, going counter with mass production. American auto manufacturers, that relied on quality control, had thousands of cars recalled, paid billions in restitution for tiny errors that weren’t corrected right after they happened.

Toyota went on to become the most reliable car. 250K cars are still sold and they run the highways: it is commonplace, while even an ‘error-free’ American car would be proud to run till 200K.

Which leads me to the ‘boundaries’ part.

It is still my cat that is on my mind. Or my previous failed relationship. Or my previous failed New Year resolution. Where, in all circumstances, I ignored, put up with, tolerated, shut a blind eye to a small aberration, a small violation of my boundaries, a little mistake, a little skipping… and they all became the core of a snow ball and destroyed an otherwise hopeful relationship, or my health, or my results.

Do the dishes soon after they get dirty. And stay awake. I have learned my lesson.

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This is an article that I copied over to my blog… so I can talk about some of the differences between how main stream handles alcoholism and how I handle it.

In my work, alcohol is an avoidance strategy: the person with the drinking would rather feel positive emotions, than deal with what there is to deal with: life, thoughts, emotions, relationships, problems.

Moving away and doing something that distracts one from an unwished for situation, thought, or feeling is called: obeying an urge.

Unless a person is taught different ways to relate to thoughts, feelings, memories, emotions, they will just continue to avoid them. Even if they become sober, they will just replace the alcohol with other behavior or substances: nothing changed inside.

Simple behavior modification doesn’t do it. A whole inner change is required, a superior skill to control one’s attention, that can be developed with practice.

Most humans living today are addicts and avoiders, one way or another. TV, internet, facebook, reading, sex, work, exercise, politics, sports… you can use any activity to avoid what you don’t like… and people do it, while they languish, and stop growing.

Check out my programs, courses, coaching, audios… they work.

The distinction between alcoholism and addiction is a dying one. For decades alcoholism has been classified separately from addiction even though both have identical symptoms and treatment options. These differences can be seen in the development of huge groups dedicated to one substance or another such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. However the fact of the matter is that alcohol is simply a substance like any other. Because addiction is not classified according to the drugs the person uses, it’s only logical that alcohol be treated in a similar manner.

Many addiction professionals are beginning to classify alcoholism simply as addiction. This is because no distinctions can be made between how addiction forms, progresses and is treated and how alcoholism is formed, progresses and is treated. This is described below:

How Addiction Forms Versus How Alcoholism Forms

When a substance such as cocaine, marijuana, heroin or alcohol causes the reward and pleasure center of the brain to be stimulated, the brain creates a “log” of associations concerning the events that led up to the “reward” of using the substance. When these associations are solidified with continued use, neurological pathways are constructed in the brain that facilitates the entire process. These pathways become permanent over time, and because they were developed in response to a substance, they can cause powerful urges that will compel the person to use the substance again and again. This physiological process doesn’t care what the substance is- the result is the same whether you’re talking about alcohol or drugs.

Signs and Symptoms of Addiction versus Alcoholism

Whether your substance of choice is alcohol or any drug, the symptoms of addiction are the same. While the physical symptoms might vary according to the substance and severity of the problem, the behavioral symptoms are universal:

1.) Loss of control- this presents as an inability to remember how much or what type of substance was taken, when the last use was, what other substances are involved, where the substance is located, or by overdosing.

2.) Obsession- an addict’s life is centered on substance abuse. They think and talk about it constantly and always seem to be planning when to use next, how much to use, who to use with and so on.

3.) Continuation despite serious consequences- this is an important distinction and one that applies to all substances. Addiction is most noted as a disease of compulsion. People who are addicted do not stop using even when their lives are falling apart.

Treatment of Alcoholism versus Addiction

There is no difference whatsoever between treatment for alcoholism and treatment for addiction. Most rehab centers make no real distinction and patients are generally a mixed bag of alcoholics and drug addicts or both. Treatment includes detox (especially for dangerous substances such as benzodiazepines and alcohol) and residential inpatient or outpatient treatment. Therapies employed at most rehab centers apply to both alcoholism and addiction and include individual, group and family therapy.

Ultimately, alcohol is just another substance. If you’re suffering from addiction to any substance or know someone who is that needs help, you should know that you can pick up the phone right now and get the process started with a free, no-obligation professional consultation.

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Life Is Like a Bruce Lee Movie – Create Positive Outcomes and Adventure With Your Mind

The gist of this article is to go within. Within really means: go to the vertical, instead of staying and living on the horizontal plane with all the drama, all the conflicts, all the bumping into this and that.

Being fluid like water is only possible when you approach life from your vertical being… the one that is unattached to the outcome, unattached to looking good, being right, comparing, remembering, thinking.

Bruce Lee lived that life, and, unfortunately, he was unique. But it is your birth right to be like him, it is the birthright of every person: except that you try to be like him and stay on the horizontal plane: too bad for you. You may be strong, but you won’t be fluid.

I teach people how to tell their vertical apart from their horizontal plane… it is not easy given everything that is being taught… but it’s possible.

Take a look at my classes, videos, audios, and coaching calls. If you are willing, I can teach you.

Someone once said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get. Well, though not a complete misnomer, it’s certainly not a very helpful philosophical view now is it? Unless you have a crystal ball, then the future is impossible to accurately predict.

You can certainly strongly influence your outcomes. In fact, the kind of company you keep and the conditioning you are exposed to will hugely determine everything in your life from success in relationships to success in your financial standing. Within your mind is the key to manifesting most of your outcomes.

There has never been more conclusive evidence to suggest, that as individuals we all have far more power to not only influence the outcomes in our own lives, but contribute to the greater picture. The amount of thought energy we emit is directly linked to what is called the collective consciousness. This ultimately determines the way in which the world manifests today.

If you are a young man, attempting to understand his place in the world, then do not ask society for your answers. Your answers are within. Shakespeare, known for the occasional bright view, once said,

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”

This may be one of the most helpful philosophical views you can absorb. Add this to a gold nugget from the Future president of America (don’t rule it out folks!), The Trumpster himself, then you have a simple but effective way of approaching your re-invented lifestyle.

His motto simply is, “Think Big!” The identities you may find yourself trapped in now, are not who you really are. You can re-invent who you are and want to be anytime you want. Now add a gold nugget from Bruce Lee, and you can really begin cooking. You will have some great ingredients to spice up your life.

Bruce Lee says, “Be like water.” That doesn’t mean be wet. It means be fluid, and adaptable. If you only applied these 3 views to your life, you can already begin to see how to create more exciting possibilities. When you fully embrace this attitude, you can create the adventure that becomes your life.

If you simply buy into what society and the box provides, then you will fail to realize who you really are. As a free spirited virile young man, much of your adventure will be provided by the seduction arts. The art of seducing amazing women. This is only possible when you have enough ‘attraction networth’. That is the combination of authentic confidence and experience.

This is why it is preferable to pursue other diverse activities that will constantly challenge you. Explore ideas and experiences that will shape a man, that female seek to align with. In many cases they will have no choice in being attracted to such a guy. So remember, this movie is about you, and not the girl.

What character or characters do you want to play, and how thick do you see the plot? Do you see yourself as the victim or the hero? What do you want to create or change? Who are you inspiring or destroying? Who are your angels or demons? Be creative. Be explorative. Be open minded. Think bigger, and live bigger still.

This is your journey, and no-one can judge you for being who you need to be. There are no rules, except the rules you choose to hold or let go off. It’s your call. The more you look within, the more you will hear the answers. Whether you want to live like a playboy, or build an empire, so you can change the world, or meditate on a mountainside, whatever you choose, will be right, if you are tuned into your soul.

Maybe you will choose all of them. What a great movie & film character that would be!

If you are fresh to this attitude, then at least try it, and you can make a better educated opinion on what you think life is about. If you are a young man, new to philosophy, here are 3 simple but powerful quotes to live your life by. They are pretty solid and will almost certainly serve you well.

1. The world is a stage

2. Think big

3. Be like water

Now get off the net and go forth & create your movie…now…go! It’s in your hands!

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Know thyself… said the Greeks, and I can’t agree more.

Unless you are clear about where you are, what are your limitations, what are your inner pulls (conation), your results in life will be puny, in every area of life.

Know Thyself If men would search diligently their own minds, and examine minutely their thoughts and actions, they would be more cautious in censuring the conduct of others, as they would find in themselves abundantly sufficient cause for reproof. “It is a good horse that never stumbles;” and lie is a good man indeed who cannot reproach himself with numerous slips and errors.” “Every bean has its black,” and every man his follies and vices.

The adage also teaches us to set a proper value upon ourselves, and to be careful not to do anything that may degrade us. It is not known to whom we are indebted for this golden rule; we only learn that it is of very long standing, and was held in such high estimation by the ancients, that it was placed over the doors of their temples, and it was also supposed by them, that ” E coelo descen- dit,” it came down from heaven. ” ‘Man know thyself!’ tins precept from on high Came down, imagined by the Deity; Oh! be the words indelibly imprest On the live tablet of each human breast.

But how do you Know Yourself? Know yourself as others know yourself? Know about yourself? Know what psychologist made up as a category for yourself? Do the test that was devised for testing privates sent to fight in the VietNam war?

People want to know themselves to make it easier to win… to make it easier to beat bad habits. To justify why they are the way they are.

My experience (as a coach, 30 years and thousands of people), has been that you do best when you know your machine. Your machine has a bent… an inclination, and if you know it you can be successful… with any machine.

Some 30 years ago I had a car I didn’t have to lock, because only I could drive it. It would stall for everyone else. I drove it another 100 thousand miles. I got it after the previous owner gave up on it. It had 160 thousand miles on it.

The knowledge: know yourself, here, with that car, applied to the car and myself, together. The car was seriously flawed… but no one could have guessed from the outside, when I drove it.

I have dyslexia, serious, but I read one or two books every week. I also write for a living.

I had two major episodes of brain damage: you wouldn’t know it. I know how to drive my machine.

My soul correction is arrogance and condescension. It’s taken me longer to drive my life with these horrible afflictions, but knowing it made it possible.

When you know all the quirks of your machine, when you know what is your unscratchable itch, when you know what the machine will do unless you compensate for it, you can take your machine anywhere, any heights, any distance, any achievement.

As you work to grow in different areas in you life, it is important to really know yourself. The concept of not knowing yourself may sound preposterous to some people, but hear me out. Because we live such hectic lives, it is important to take time to become reacquainted with ourselves. It is very easy to get so focused on living life that we lose ourselves in the hustle and the bustle. With every phase in life, we change and evolve, and if all goes as planned, we should not be the same person we were five years ago. This is not to say that everything about us has to change, but it is perfectly natural and healthy to mature and grow in different areas.

Knowing yourself can help you improve your work ethic because you can really understand your limitations and know when you are pushing yourself too hard. If you are a self starter like me, you would probably work for 24 hours a day if you could. In fact, you’ve probably had to make yourself step away from your work one more than one occasion. While this self starting attitude is a good thing, it can also be a problem. If you aren’t careful, your desire for success can drive others away from you and actually ruin relationships. You may be thinking, “I thought we were supposed to be able to accomplish everything.” That is true, but sometimes you can bite of much more than you can chew, and running yourself into the ground to accomplish goals in not healthy. The beauty of accomplishing goals and achieving personal growth is discovering the balance of work and play.

While it is important to know your limits, knowing yourself helps you to know what you can’t accomplish as well as what you can accomplish. Many times, people don’t push themselves to accomplish real goals simply because thy think don’t think they’ll be successful. Once you really know yourself, you will know what you can accomplish. However, if you never try, you’ll never know how much you can truly accomplish.

When you know yourself, it is easier to keep yourself motivated. It you met someone for the first time, and they asked you to encourage them without giving you any details about their life, you would have a hard time encouraging them. By being aware of the types of things that keep you motivated, you will be less likely to reach that rock bottom point where you feel like your world is crumbling around you. It is best to constantly encourage and motivate yourself as your grow and mature.

How do you react to disappointment? What do you do when you’re sad? How often do you need to take time to truly relax? In order to maintain balance in your life, you have to constantly ask yourself these types of questions. Not only do you need to know yourself in order to have a strong foundation for personal growth, but you also have to be willing to motivate yourself when things are less than ideal.

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Nobody goes through lifetime without having some contact with human beings that are mad over something. The rage may be directed at you for some cause, or it may be directed somewhere else and you are just in the incorrect place at the incorrect age and are witnessing a mad outburst.

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If you have been involved in either therapy or counselling, or spirituality and meditation, in recent years you have probably encountered two basic, polarized viewpoints concerning personality. Essentially it amounts to this: therapists are pro-personality (and its improvement through healing neurosis etc.) while spiritual teachers proclaim personality a big waste of time, since neurotic or not, you are more than your personality.

This is not particularly surprising, since therapy and counseling tend to be concerned with the individual, while spiritual practices are concerned with higher matters. But it does lead the novices and beginners into a quandary where they are faced with the decision of what to do about personality. On the one hand, therapy could be an expensive, futile effort to better the personality, whereas, on the other hand, spiritual practice may offer an excuse to leave personal problems behind, with the justification that you are moving on to more lofty concerns.

In the extensive time I have been engaged in therapy and spirituality I can say that I have discovered the answer to this controversy! And I don’t say it without reluctance and a certain caution, since my answer is liable to offend both camps — therapists and spiritual teachers. Perhaps my answer is less a rejection or abandonment of one viewpoint for another and more of a synthesis. This may be an answer of the best kind – the kind that doesn’t marginalize or dismiss anyone’s experience or viewpoint. For my answer, while radically new and innovative, does not fundamentally disagree with either point of view, but considers each appropriate to the complex, total unfolding process of our human nature and potential.

My answer to the dilemma is to propose a third band of human experience. I call this “the authentic self” and since I am not using any unusual words I need to define this term, because I do mean something specific. The authentic self, in the way I use the term, is the bridge between the personality and the spiritual self. It is arrived at usually, but not always, after a lengthy period of intensive, deep, applied and consistent inner work. This inner work consists of a journey of self-discovery in which one circumvents the self, becoming increasingly aware of the conscious and unconscious material that comprises one’s sense of self, or ego. This involves character, which is essentially defensive strategy or an intelligent, protective reaction to early conditioning, which becomes increasingly calcified and adapted throughout adolescence and adult life. Character is composed of the way in which we survive and protect ourselves from inner and outer stimuli and ultimately avoid really meeting life. It creates a self-imposed prison — limitations in which we feel falsely safe.

Self-discovery also involves cultivating our awareness of personality, or the way in which character (defenses and strategies) is experienced. Both inwardly and outwardly we erect a barrier to experience — life events and other people — which is a mask, façade or persona which eclipses the real person, or our true nature.

We also raise emotional and behavioural patterns out of the murky stratum of the unconscious, out of unawareness, and see just how much our life is lived automatically, as an automaton without real human response, emotional feeling, resonance, empathy or even awareness.

The process of self-discovery involves witnessing, reliving and remembering, practicing awareness and releasing pent-up emotions, returning the bodymind, through self-regulating, self-healing and self-referral, to a natural state of balance, ease and relaxation, and opening to insight and experience. In the short-term the experience is enriching, enlivening and full of dramatic changes. In the long-term through achieving personal wholeness, soul nourishment and insights we reach a threshold, a bridge, a chasm – all variously transitional metaphors that signify a quantum leap, a fourth dimensional change that I have termed “the threshold of transformation”.

The significance of this threshold, and what distinguishes it from all the changes that have gone before, is that is effects are irreversible — it is a step from which there is no going back. Once taken, this step across the threshold will lead you to the condition of authenticity and intimacy with your own true nature.

This insight renders the controversy about personality redundant. But it does depend on our ability to clearly distinguish the psychological from the spiritual.

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In a Landmark Education Course I took back in 1987, I learned that it is possible to live life from a new context: “Life is a conversation”

It is quite simple if you can wrap your mind around it, incredibly difficult if you are attached to the way you see the world.

Humans, you, live as if we knew reality. As if we could know reality. But the truth is: reality, if it exists, is unknowable, it is beyond anyone’s knowledge.

So the way we are trying to gather knowledge so we can more accurately describe how it is, is just being a better peon, a better slave, never the master, never the creator we were meant to be.

We look for the meaning in things, or we already know what things mean, but what if that is really the way life can’t change for us, and all we can do is all we can do?

“Life is a conversation” means that nothing inherently means anything, that the meaning of things isn’t fixed. It also means that for life to change, you need to change the conversation you have about it.

After the weekend course I set out to test it out.

I worked as an architect for hire in Lower Manhattan, so I had to walk about 30 minutes from the train to get to the office. On my way I decided that “ownership” is a conversation, just a piece of paper, but it is also a conversation. I am the owner of that firm… I decided to come from this new conversation.

As owner I noticed litter on the carpet, noticed when people were chatting on the phone, pretending to work. In addition to get my own work done much faster and better, I also reminded people to work…

At the end of the day the owners, two young women, called me into their office. I was scared.

Turns out they called me in to thank me and praise me. This was pretty much the first praise from a boss I got in my 17 years of being employed as an architect, by the way.

Weeks after this conversation, the stock market crashed, and the firm lost most of their clients. But regardless, whenever they had any work for a freelance architect, they called me… all because of living life as if it were a conversation.

Every organization is composed of people with different ranks and positions. The leader is set to lead and direct while the members are the followers. Whatever your position is, you should take part and do your best for the organization to be able to achieve its internal goals and render a satisfying service to its clients. Excellent performance is not only required from leaders: all the members of the team should actively cooperate if the goal is to succeed.

It requires courage and other team values to be able to do your part with both the heart and mind set out for it. However, because this is a must so that you can influence others and lead them all to follow the quality of teamwork, you should learn how to be an active part in the organization you belong.

Know that there are points that set the leader distinct from the members. Basically, you have to have a clear knowledge and understanding of your own obligations as well as of others within the team. Always consider the boundaries of each ranks. Overlapping of tasks causes an insult to the other party who is supposed to take care of the things that you do.

The Role of the Leader

The leader’s role within the organization is very crucial. Being the leader, he is the one in the forefront. He should see far ahead to be able to stay away from the harmful elements that can cause the organization to fall down. He should also check out every part of the organization and see to it that they are working well together. He has duties as well as the rights to do what he deemed as right and appropriate for the whole organization. He gives commands, initiates plans, formulates goals and solves problems. A good leader should interact with the members of the team in a proper way. If he has to be an effective leader, he should relate with his followers and win their trust and obedience.

The Role of the Member

The members are the followers of the leader. What the leader initiates, they will follow. While every member of the team, including the leader, works hard, the performance of the members is always checked in order to ensure that productivity is high and the team is working as is expected of it. The people comprising the team are of different skills, and each one is placed in a position he or she is needed the most. Each member should have a sense of respect, trust and commitment.

Every rank is coupled with responsibility. Tasks may not be the same but the important thing is that each one will do his best.

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If you know me, you know that the misery I experienced in my life for 50 years drove me to many modalities of relief, including affirmations.

Affirmations don’t work for me. Never did and never will.

Why? Because affirmations are spoken from the mind: and the mind says so many things, a nice word here and there won’t make a difference. Just watch how much difference and how long a pat on the back does to you: not much, correct?

Life started to change when I learned different ways of speaking. I learned that there is descriptive language, and that includes the affirmations: the ordinary way of speaking of most people.

Then there are the active ways of speaking:

requests, promises, and declarations. This way of speaking does not come from the mind: it comes from your higher way of being: your vertical plane, your vertical self.

This kind of speaking creates a context that is inescapable.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that people won’t use request or promise sounding sentences, that come from the mind, a casual tool of babbling. They may even seem to declare something, but the power is missing.

I measure the power of your word in the Starting Point Measurements

The power of MY word is 70%… But even with that much power you need to know that what you say matters. If the mind says: ‘you are lying’, then it doesn’t matter how much power your word has… does it?

Any speaking that comes from the mind is mere chatter, and any speaking that comes from the Self is a command.

So then why do negative statements seem to have disastrous consequences: what the statement says seems to come true? Because those statements, when spoken in the absence of a commitment, the absence of a higher context, are the true description of where the speaker’s world is heading.

I often say: this won’t work… this is going to fail… but my actions are not consistent with those ‘affirmations’, they are consistent with making it work.

Your most important job, if you want your word to have power, is to learn to connect to your higher self (not god! not Jesus! but your own higher self), and speak from there.

Until then you are just littering the world with your affirmations.

‘What changes your focus: changes your faith. What changes your faith changes your outcome.’ ~ Jesse Duplantis

Let me start by saying that everything you say is some kind of affirmation – either positive or negative. When you complain to your friends, ‘nothing ever goes right for me,’ you are affirming to the world and the universe that nothing should go right in your life.

It’s true, you know. You are where you are today because of your beliefs, attitudes and words.

What you say today becomes your reality tomorrow. What you believe about yourself and your situation creates and maintains your world.

You may not like where you are right now. You may not think you deserve all the hassles, stress and problems. And you are right. But you are the only one who can change your life with affirmations.

It was a revelation to me that my lack of money, bad attitude and poor relationships were my own fault! It was life-changing to learn that I could change my circumstances by changing my words.

Over the years, I have learned to say certain things – affirmations – to cancel negatives and attract positive results. Here are six affirmations that changed my life.

1. ‘I will not be defeated and I will not quit.’ It is so easy to throw up your hands and say, ‘I tried.’ But ‘try’ is never enough. To win in any situation, you have to be prepared to stay with it until you do win! It’s a philosophy that applies to everything. Michael Jordan is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever. But he freely admits that he has lost more than 300 games and missed over 9,000 shots. But he never quit. Whatever you want, whatever you need to accomplish, don’t let your circumstances win. Don’t quit.

2. ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’ Yes, it’s a Bible verse. But I use it all the time – when I’m tired and just want to give up (see #1!), when I’m faced with a problem that I don’t know how to solve, when I need physical strength to just get through the day. Sometimes I partner it with ‘I rest in God’s energy,’ drawing strength and resolve from the Eternal source of all energy and ability.

3. ‘I have the mind of Christ.’ The power here taps into Divine wisdom to solve seemingly unsolvable problems. God has answers to every situation. Affirming that connects your spirit with His wisdom. Patience allows Spirit to work on your behalf to bring the answers or change the circumstances to bring the solution you seek.

4. ‘I am rooted and grounded in Love.’

This one is particularly effective when I’m NOT feeling very loving. When someone interrupts ‘my’ routine, wants something from me that I don’t really want to do, or when I’m feeling selfish, I remind myself of my higher calling. I am rooted and grounded in love. I can set aside my wants and focus on the other person. God will take care of me. Use that as an affirmation, coupled with appropriate action to line yourself up for greater blessing.

5. ‘There is nothing lost in God’s world.’ Use this one where you are looking for lost keys, glasses or any misplaced item. It may take some time, but if you will let this work, a thought will pop into your mind to look… somewhere. And you will usually find exactly what you are looking for.
6. ‘God loves me and has a good plan for my life.’ Use this all the time, but especially when circumstances seem aligned against you. This affirmation helps to line up your thinking with the divine plan of blessing and abundance. It helps defeat stress by acknowledging the power of Divine assistance and direction.

Remember, you must stay consistent with your affirmations.

Think of your words like a bucket of paint.

If you are filling the bucket with negative (black) words, complaints and mumblings throughout your day, how much white (positive) words will you have to speak to get the color you want?

Don’t just think of affirmations as things you speak sometimes. Watch your everyday words to make sure you are speaking what you want. God explained it this way: call those things that be not as though they were (Rom. 4:17). By following His method of creation, you can re-create your own world with your words.

Words have power. They have the power to change your mindset. By changing your mind – your beliefs – you change your attitude. That leads to a change in your actions. Use the ‘A-team’ – Affirmation, Attitude and Action – to change your life.

Obviously this wasn’t my article… it was quoted by some god-fearing person. You need to find what YOU have faith in… if you don’t have faith in Christ or whatever….

The post Affirmations to Keep You on Track in Life first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Hypnosis is mysterious and peculiar. It is not fully understood. Some therapists are taught a very diluted version of hypnosis and they market themselves with statements about hypnosis that are not true. They are true to the techniques they use, but not to hypnosis. Here are six common misconceptions about hypnosis and their relevance to effective change work. Some are encouraged by practicing therapists and some are just urban legends.

Hypnosis is a sleep like state

Hypnosis gets its name from the Greek God of sleep, Hypnos, which is misleading. Relaxation and sleep are two very common suggestions used in the induction process. The relaxed state you often see in hypnotised people is the acceptance of a suggestion, but it is not hypnosis. It is the effect not the cause.

In a stage show you will see the subjects slumped when the hypnotist is not using them, they look like they are asleep, puppets with their strings cut, yet as soon as the puppeteer gives them an instruction they jump to it – you do not do that when you are asleep. When they are doing what they are told as part of the performance – eating an onion or falling in love with a mop – in the reality that the hypnotist has given them they are in they still hypnotised and they are very definitely not asleep.

In therapy the client will spend a lot of time with their eyes closed in a relaxed state as in therapy the attention is turned inwards and so it makes sense to block out external stimulus, but they are not asleep, they are following instructions given to them by the hypnotist, rearranging their subconscious patterns and changing their lives.

A good therapist will ensure some sort of two way communication between themselves and the client so they can gauge the effectiveness of what they are doing as they go. This might involve talking with the client, asking for head nods or shakes or establishing Ideo Motor Responses which are tiny involuntary muscle movements – one for Yes and one for No. You cannot do that with someone who is asleep.

The most common phrase from a clients mouth when you wake them up is something along the lines of ‘that was weird’ – probably not the first phrase uttered each morning.

The Hypnotist cannot make you do anything you do not want to do!

Many hypnotherapists will claim this on their FAQ pages, they will tell you that you are completely in control throughout the session as many hypnotherapy schools teach this. Any therapist that claims this is not using hypnosis or they do not understand the tools of their own trade. Hypnosis is the acceptance of suggestion without question, without reservation, without inhibition and that is exactly why you go to hypnotist rather than a counsellor or psychotherapist which work with your conscious faculty at the pace you wish to go to try and get past problems – hypnosis removes your conscious critical faculty from the equation to get you fast results.

Let’s examine the term ‘want’. Let’s say you get a panic attack every time you are in a small enclosed space. You want to stop doing that but you can’t. If you really truly wanted to stop you would. So why is it not possible? Because there is a deeper want – part of your mind wants to keep you out of small enclosed spaces. Part of your mind, the part that is in charge, does not want to go into small enclosed spaces. Go and see a hypnotist though, and they can talk to that part of your mind and tell it that you will be okay if you go into small enclosed spaces without panicking. And you will feel fine after that. The hypnotist has made you do something that you do not want to do.

The same goes for any issue that you might want to see a hypnotist for – the process aligns your conscious desires with your subconscious resistance so there is no conflict.

It is a wonderful process that can do wonderful things for you but be sure you trust your hypnotist and chose them carefully.

Hypnosis is a completely natural state which you drift in and out of several times a day

For hypnosis to happen you need a hypnotist and a hypnotee. The thing that makes hypnosis hypnosis is the acceptance of the hypnotist’s suggestion without reservation, without inhibition. This cannot happen regularly throughout the day unless you are joined at the hip of a hypnotist who barks suggestions at you regularly.

Trance is often mistaken for hypnosis. Daydreaming is a form of trance. Autopilot that you slip into while driving a familiar root is a form of trance. Watching TV is a form of trance. Hypnosis is a form of trance, but trance is not hypnosis, not without a hypnotist there to drive it.

Hypnosis is when a hypnotist encourages your subconscious to become dominant over your conscious mind which is important because your subconscious can do anything, it does not know its limits, whereas your conscious mind has limits and it knows exactly where they are.

The hypnotist does not do anything to you, they just encourage the subconscious to come out and play, using your imagination and focus while persuading the conscious mind to sit back for a while. This does not happen several times a day. In a session with a good hypnotist you will have a new and different, weird and wonderful experience.

You can hypnotize yourself

Following the above logic, you cannot hypnotise yourself. You cannot bypass your own conscious faculty. You cannot stick your own finger to the end of your own nose without glue but a hypnotist can. It is very hard to consciously change a subconscious belief once it is formed as your conscious mind is a result of that belief – this is a bit like trying to pick yourself up off the floor. You need someone else to bypass that conscious mind for you.

Self hypnosis can be good to focus your attention, your energy and your self awareness, it can be good to really think about how you are seeing the world and to find new ways of seeing it, but it is not hypnosis – it is self-induced trance or meditation and it can do you the world of good, but it will not be as fast as hypnosis and is not the same thing.

Only the weak minded can be hypnotized

This misconception was quite possibly started by bad hypnotists who just wanted people to comply. It is not true. Hypnosis is more of a talent of the hypnotee than the hypnotist, it is a skill to be able to take someone else’s words as your own reality. It is a skill that some people have naturally, others can learn to be better at it and some people will never be able to do it. So what determines how good a hypnotee you are?

In a study by J. E. Horton et al entitled ‘Increased anterior corpus callosum size associated positively with hypnotizability and the ability to control pain’, he discovers that someone’s ability to be hypnotised depends on the size of the rostrum which is part of the brain within the corpus callosum which links the left and right hemispheres, the rational and creative parts of the brain. The bigger the rostrum the better a hypnotee you are; if your rostrum is small it may be that you cannot be hypnotized.

The best way to find out how hypnotizable you are is to spend some time with a hypnotist and try some things and this would be wise to do before investing a full amount in treatment. Do some tests and you have an idea how likely it is to work and a good hypnotist will give you the opportunity to find this out as this determines if and how they are going to be help you.

The other things that may get in the way on the day are: mood, rapport with the hypnotist, setting, things going on in your life and choice of inductions to name but a few, but a good hypnotist will work with you to get past these variables and if you can be hypnotised, you will be.

You can get stuck in hypnosis

If the stage hypnotist dies in the middle of the show, will you live the rest of your life in love with a mop? If the therapist walks out in the middle of a session and never comes back will you never ‘wake up’?

To take the therapy scenario first, your subconscious is bright, it is in control of so much all the time, it will realise that the hypnotist is gone and allow you to either fall into a comfortable sleep or ‘wake you up’ of its own accord.

In terms of your showbiz love affair with a mop, you may stay in love with the mop for a while, but your mind can still learn and there is more evidence that the mop is not actually a person worthy of your love than there is to the contrary and so you will process this and fall out of love quite quickly.

This is why the hypnotist needs to be clever in therapy as the effects in the session need to last. The suggestions that are designed to effect the rest of your life must be put in a way that will remain congruent with the way you experience life or the work that is done in the session will be undone over time. The change needs to be made and then your subconscious prepared for potential challenging times ahead so that it can run the new pattern even when the going gets tough rather than reverting habitually to the old pattern. The therapist cannot stop life from happening, but they can give you the tools to cope with whatever is thrown at you.

The post What Is Sleep Hypnosis And How Does It Work? first appeared on Become all you can become with Sophie.

Commitments are powerful. They are life transforming. When you commit to doing something, doors open and paths appear. When you commit in word and action, people appear to support you in your quest. Commitment leads to change. Decide what you are committed to and your life will change in that direction.

What is a commitment? Merriam-Webster, an Encyclopedia Britannica Company, defines commitment as “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future.” I like this definition because it does not include “obligation,” “financial risk,” or “emotional promise.” It is merely an agreement or pledge that you willingly and noncoercively have decided to do.

A true commitment involves a sense of “No matter what.”

No matter what happens, I will continue eating less food or specific food as required by this diet.
No matter how I feel, I will exercise several days for at least one hour every week.
No matter how my partner responds, I will maintain my own state of equilibrium and reduce my own stress.
No matter how much money I make, I will manage my bills and save a specific amount each month.
No matter how long it takes, I will develop the required skills and learn how to….
No matter how I feel, I will find a way to be happy in any given circumstance.

Happiness is a mental state. It is built on internal, not external, realities. Regardless of the external circumstances, we can choose to be happy in any given moment. In fact, there is a system known as the “Science of Happiness,” which seeks to apply the scientific method to determine what happiness is and how we might attain it. Wikipedia cites a quote from Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihaly “We believe that a psychology of positive human functioning will arise that achieves a scientific understanding and effective interventions to build thriving in individuals, families, and communities.” The goal of this scientifically derived, positive psychology, is to enable others to thrive, not to just survive.

What would it be like for you to make a commitment to happiness? Do you believe you can actually make the choice and decide to be happy? Can you make this choice into an actual commitment? Can you decide that you are committed to being happy, no matter what lemons life might present you with?

Once you truly make a commitment, any commitment, the universe has a way of first showing you the opposite of what you are striving for. That means, you will be tested and you may be tempted to give up and forget your dream. But if you hang in there, hold on to your commitment – no matter what – miracles may happen. And you may find yourself so happy, most of the time, that you never believed such happiness was possible.

Are you willing to make a commitment to happiness?

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