The rent is very high: I guess we pay for the location: it is a very nice dead end street with a wonderful view of the sunset and Syracuse University.
I am noticing that every time I go from my office to the front of my apartment there is a wave of resentment, anger, from the downstairs apartment.
I sit down and feel it. It feels bad. The energy is the energy of blaming, pointing a finger, justifying.
She, the girl downstairs, is angry. Why? Who knows? She is angry and she needs to direct her anger.
I have a hunch that she is angry because she is alone. Because work is scarce (she works as a waitress) and because she needs to decide if she renews her lease for another year or not.
Making a decision is tough. She promised the landlord months ago that she would renew the lease, so she is looking for justification to break her word.
Me, moving about upstairs is a great excuse, a great smokescreen for that.
Most of your emotions are smoke screens.
Why do you need a smokescreen? Because you want to continue viewing yourself as the victim. Because you want to continue viewing yourself as this nice person. Smart person. It's not your fault that... fill in the blanks. It is because... fill in the blanks.
All justification, all pointing fingers is to avoid being seen as who you are, spiritually.
What prevents you from seeing yourself as you are? The ego. Why would it do that to you?
Ego is the big stabilizer. If and when you REALLY get a glimpse of who you are, your Soul starts to nudge you to make a correction, and if you did, the Ego would be terrified.
Ego is the enemy of change.
I thing this is why so few people opt to come to the coaching calls.
It is one thing to get a glimpse and promptly forget it the next minute, and it is quite another thing to be on a call with me, spending maybe 30-40 minutes on the things you do that are underhanded, pretentious, nasty, or self-damaging.
You see, most of you are here to prove that you are trying. That you are trying to become the best you... but you are simply lying. You are here to pretend that you are interested.
You see, if you were here to actually do the work, then you would sign up to my calls, and come, regularly, and bust your ass. You would thank me for being tough with you. Tough love, that is.
So, on this holiday of independence (at least in the United States) I salute the handful of people who put themselves fully into the work it takes to become the best you.
Happy Independence Day!
To my fellow spiritual workers who stay up late, get up early, fight, hustle, and sweat to catch yourself straying from the path of becoming an Expanded Human Being ...
You do the work, often in the face of not wanting to, not liking it, often in the face of defeat and repeated failure, often in the face of criticism and scorn from peers and family
You never give up (maybe you take a breather here and there) you are still working day in and day out to turn your vision of being the best you into reality: THANK YOU.
It is YOU who create the possibility of integrity in the world.
It is YOU who cause the possibility of personal responsibility in the world.
It is YOU who buy the tools that benefit all of humanity by spreading the vibration of harmony on the planet.
It is YOU who let go of judgment and self-righteous indignation... even though you are right. And what you do raises the vibration of the planet.
If it weren't for YOU, we'd have nothing to celebrate, no future for humanity.
Your work and your contribution can never truly be understood or appreciated by the "civilian" population, but I certainly appreciate you.
And the Planet appreciates you too... although they don't know it's you they need to thank.