Commitment… the c-word


When a crocodile slams its jaws shut, the energy it summons is powerful. But when the beast opens its jaws, the force it exerts is weak.

That’s because the muscles used to close the mouth are much more robust than the muscles used to open.

I’m wondering if an analogous story might be told about you these days. Are you more prone to close down than to open up?

Is it easier for you to resist, avoid, and say no than it is to be receptive, extend a welcome, and say yes?

If so, please consider cultivating a better balance. You need both capacities running at full strength in the coming days.

Humans shy away from commitments: Jaws open… allowing. Why?

Because commitment feels like bondage, like voluntary enslavement, like saying a lot of no’s to a lot of nice things… the end of a life of liberty. Life opening up, and you need to stay open.

But open is associated with danger. You leave your door open, your car door open, your mouth open, your heart open… and untold and unimaginable dangers can come.

crocodile2So whenever you actually do make a commitment, everything goes haywire. As if they knew…

The phone will ring for emergencies, everyone will suddenly want your attention, you’ll win the lottery, you’ll lose your checkbook… your dad’s health will turn for worse, you’ll remember all the things that need to get done… a whole slew of unexpected events will come your way to excuse you of that commitment

I use the word commitment only for big things: starting a business, getting married, starting a healthy diet, starting a workout regimen… actions or purposes that without commitment would never happen… actions or purposes that you need to re-arrange your life to fulfill upon.

What happens when you finally make a commitment?

Common sense (coming from false teaching) says that commitment would open up the channels of a benevolence that would help you every step of the way.

Your gut instinct says: if this is the right commitment, then it will be like heated knife going into butter… easy.

Even the famous commitment quote says something like that.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

When things don’t happen the way you envisioned, the way Murrey says in his quote, you quit. “It must be the wrong commitment…” or “I am not cut out for this” or “I can’t”

We only want that which is easy… no need to push, no obstacles, no steep hills, no problemo.

If it’s easy, the commitment happened inside your little box… and I would not call it commitment… it was more like a prediction. It is more of the same… More, better, different… but not a commitment.

What is the nature of reality with regards to commitment?

  • When your Soul hears you uttering the commitment, the Soul jumps of joy… You feel that. It feels like a mix of fear and excitement.
  • When the Ego hears you uttering the commitment, the Ego cringes and tightens up… and it says “No way!” 1
  • When the Universe hears you uttering the commitment, it says: Oh yeah? We shall see… And starts mounting obstacles, watching you to see if you meant by commitment, pushing through, no matter what, so help me god…

    Of course, you quit. And the Universe already knew that: you have a track record of doing that…

On the rare occasion that you actually meant what you said, you meant “no matter what,” and you are willing to push through the initial hurdles, and then the hurdles of no results, the too much work… is it worth it? period, then the Universe says: “oh, he means it, she means it… let me put my energy in to help.”

How many times this happens?

  • Most people will never experience it.
  • A lot of people will experience it, and will talk to everyone about it, but never do it again.
  • And some people, a few, make it the way they create a meaningful life, the life of an Expanding Human Being.

Making a commitment is like a muscle: you need to practice it to become a match to a larger commitment.

crocodile-2Oh, and no matter which group you belong to, the initial hardship is there, even if this is the 100th time… but “no matter what” can win if you push through.

You either build a track record of winning or a track record of quitting

I have had lots of personal experience with this. One was connected to my commitment of teaching creating a meaningful life… Suddenly everyone wanted to book a session with me, so much that I didn’t have time to do it. Suddenly all my computers crashed, the internet would disappeared on me. Then the people next door hired a crew to work on their house, workmen with acute anxiety and 70 vibration. I was watching it with morbid fascination as the obstacles were moving from physical obstacles to emotional obstacles.

I have a picture of myself from that time. The picture that was taken of me a few years ago, just after I committed to teach people to create a meaningful life. On the picture I am fat, my hair is the color of carrots, my face is puffy, bloated. I remember the time: I wasn’t a happy camper, and I was in a phase where I repelled people… The mind was screaming:

“Who do you think you are? You are alone and you’ll stay that way! No one can love a slob like you! Quit while you are ahead!”

These were the shouting voices in my head… And finally the coup de grace (French), the death blow: “You should kill yourself!”

Luckily I don’t live in my head, I live in the Theta Brain State, the state of Consciousness, and I am just watching it from the position of the Observer. “Wow… the commitment must be really important, really big… if the Universe is pulling out the big gun!”

When you get to learn to live in Theta Mode, where you can see that the size and intensity of the blockage is an indication of your commitment, a valuable feedback from the Universe, a validation of your commitment, this insight will carry you through those boulders the Universe piles up in front of you to test the strength of your commitment.

Until then: you will quit the commitment, because… and because, and because…

In the normal brain state YOU are not cause. Some feeling, some emotions, some thoughts are…

When you commit, you don’t allow any circumstance to take over “cause”… And that is what makes it so frightening, because you are so used to be the effect…

But remember? If it is to be, it is up to me…


“If you are not for you, who is for you?”

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  1. The Ego is the selfish gene… working diligently against upsetting the homeostasis

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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