Who or What is calling the shot in your life? Commitment – new thoughts, new experiences


This is a continuation of the c-word article… and the getting ready for a breakthrough article. Read them first or this article won’t make sense completely

Displacement of your commitment:

As I have written before, the “universe” or the aspect of you that conspires and is in kahutz with the Universe, will put up obstacles in your path, so instead of doing stuff that’s consistent with your commitment, you are now on a detour path: handling your obstacles.

Alex, a friend of mine, is dealing with his server and his websites being hacked… a moment after he made a commitment to growth. So he feels forced to deal with that, instead of following the path he set for himself.

The other type of detour, or displaced commitment, is the Seductive Path.

John, a student of mine, found someone to date, right after he made a commitment to a meaning, to a purpose, this past Monday. How interesting, one could say, and I do. No accidents here.

And although it is interesting, it is also telling of the inner dynamic of commitment.

Commitment brings up the most important issue in your life: who is calling the shots?

Let’s see who or what could call the shots 1

  1. Some circumstance or other people
  2. Some aspect of you

    The best analogy I can think of, when I think of a human, is that a human is like a bunch of musicians, maybe an orchestra: a ragtag group of rogues, all worrying about their particular concerns, instead of accepting the leadership of the conductor and the sheet music.

In the “normal” cause of events, all participants play their own tune, trying to be louder and more dominant than all the others, they are trying to prove that they are the leader.

  • The ego
  • the body, the feelings, the emotions
  • the mind
  • the soul
  • the will
  • the “subconscious”
  • the “self” or persona
  • The ego wants you to stay the same (the selfish gene and the homeostasis)
  • The body wants you to pay attention to it, because it is hurting, or itching, or cold…
  • The emotions… that without someone feeling them, without a correct interpretation, they only cause a firestorm that you want to suppress, because there seems to be no rhyme and reason in what you feel.
  • The mind wants you to come from, live from, listen from what you know, not from observing reality and responding accurately, astutely, constructively… hell no.
  • The soul is a whining infant… nobody seems to care what the soul wants, but the soul just wants you to play and play and play… becoming better and better
  • The will wants to feel like you have power and control and a say in the matter, it just doesn’t know to what end
  • The persona, that hodge podge construct of roles and pretenses you created when you needed to survive, is yelling all the time, telling you how to win in life… pesky little thing… telling you that you don’t do things like that, and that you don’t do it like that, and that it is unbecoming to you to…
  • And the subconscious… whatever that is… is supposedly setting up reefs, and icebergs… out of the blue.

Who and what is missing from this orchestra is the conductor. The Organizing Principle. The guide. The YOU… There is no YOU.

conductorOne out of a million has ever invented a path, and one out of a million of those actually follows it to any degree.

Why? Because living in this world, where so many things are going on at the same time, and so many things you should know, and understand, and pay attention to… you have relinquished your right to be present, to be conscious — to cookie cutter responses, to being on automatic, to listening and heeding the part of you that seems to know: the mind.

Oho, nice idea, but unfortunately the mind doesn’t know.

The mind is not able to even perceive the present moment: it is at the end of the line of a bunch of filters, and it has a delay in getting the information. Nine seconds…

So by the time your mind gets the message, the situation has changed… So the mind doesn’t even try, it finds you an earlier similar incident, and tells you to follow the same path… thus keeping you the same, and in trouble. Because whatever worked before, won’t work again…

So, what would make you an integrated “orchestra” that produces beautiful music that sounds up to the heavens? Because that would be the life worth living, wouldn’t it?

Without sheet music, even with a conductor, an orchestra is the source of anarchy, a source of cacophony

sheet-musicBecause without that integration, without the sheet music, without the conductor, your life sounds to you like the cacophony of an orchestra tuning their instruments… not music, no inspiration, no purpose to the assembly, it is nerve wrecking.

Without an organizing principle, the sheet music, without a strong presence, the conductor, the parts of you cannot manage to play the same music, at the same speed.

Some parts lagging, others running ahead, getting louder, taking over.

So what’s missing is

  1. the sheet music, and
  2. the conductor,

would you agree?

So, let’s see what would and what could serve as sheet music?

In times of hardship, in times of calamity, helping one another serves as sheet music. In the hours after the collapse of the World Trade Center, people seemed to be organized around a sheet music that called them up to help.

That sheet music stopped being active after a few days or maybe for some a few weeks, and people returned to being competitive, gossipy, judgmental, and backbiting.

Depending and waiting for calamity isn’t a solution… you will have to create one. You could be given, but even then, you need to actively accept it, embrace it, and make it yours.

Three million websites talk about this desire. Thousands of people go to google to ask: What is my life’s purpose?

If life, your life, had a purpose, a declared, heavenly, inspiring purpose, that could serve as sheet music, couldn’t it?

Instead of begging for guidance from mum “entities” like god, guardian angel, whatever. Or your mother. Or your spouse… your priest, your guru

The only person who can create this organizing principle is you

The only person who can create this organizing principle is you, and the only person who can help you create it is someone whose future doesn’t depend on your actions, not someone too close to you, in competition with you or depending on you. The self serving interest of a spouse, a best friend, of a parent is taken out of the equation… This is why you can’t coach your husband. This is why your husband will get scared when you take a course… your actions mean something about them and their future… mostly detrimental… or that’s how it feels to them.

I can work with you once I know you well enough. Can I help you if I don’t know you?

I have an experimental course, The Instant Coherence (Coherence is the result of that organizing principle, the sheet music, and the conductor…)

In that course you can take a stab at creating your sheet music, your organizing principle, and you can get lucky and find the music that most inspires you: you can find the purpose it is worth giving your life over to.

Once you are done, there is the next step though: awakening and enlivening your Conductor.

The Conductor is the Observer, the Witness, the Pilot Light, Consciousness… the part of you that has no opinion, that is able to stay neutral, and therefore it is the perfect Conductor… because imagine a conductor who prefers the horns or the oboe… the harmony of the music would be killed by a conductor like that.

Most of us live in the mind, identify ourselves with the mind, listen through the mind, and go to the mind for guidance.

Our lives look the way they look because the mind doesn’t know: it only pretends to know.

The mind is now elevated to the leadership level, but it doesn’t have the capability, it cannot connect to the other players, and it has no sheet music at all.

So the other players put their feet in, trip you any way they can: after all they want to be heard as well!

You are always out of sorts, you are a battle ground of your aspects, no peace, no results, no life worth living.

Your most important job, even before you invent your life’s purpose, is to activate your Observer, your Witness, your Conductor, your Consciousness.

So how do you do it? How do you activate your Witness? your Observer, your Conductor?

Certain types of meditations are wonderfully effective for that. But without first understanding and experiencing it, you won’t easily relinquish your identification with the mind.

  • The fastest way to get Consciousness to activate is through entering the Theta Brain State. I have frequent live trainings for the skill. Check the calendar in the sidebar.
  • And a student had partial success by saying: “There is nothing wrong here” every time something happens that the mind wants to react to.
  • And, interestingly, the Harmonize Your Vibration audio played as a background music makes it easier. Why? Because the Harmonize Your Vibration audio recorded me being connected to the Universe, while I was in the Avatar State… a state I am scared to enter, it is so powerful. And the recording creates that energy, the energy of the Avatar State, in its environment, and in the Avatar State there is no mind. You can use the mind, but you cannot identify yourself with the mind. That’s why.

So when you meditate, or listen to me teaching the principles, or say “There is nothing wrong here” you are 100 times more successful than without the Avatar State energy.

So, what do I recommend that you do?

  1. Start awakening your Observer… use one method, or use them all. It will take some time.

    You’ll know you are succeeding, because you’ll be calmer, and largely untouched by all the forces that want to jerk you around.

    Make sure you have the Harmonize Your Vibration audio 24/7.

  2. Once you are satisfied with your invented purpose, sign up to my coaching program: after all you need a friend to keep you in line: your Conductor is still weak, and your ability to stick to a commitment is still pitifully unstable.

How I looked and found guidance in my purpose

And lastly, let me share with you how this whole process helped me, yesterday, to make a decision:

I have been pricing my coaching program way too cheap.

My hourly rate on this site is $100… and between you and me, even that is too low. For “real” coaching session I charge $200 an hour, but those coaching sessions are with people who are already up to something.

So I was sitting with my friend, Alex, yesterday, puzzled.

I looked why I am charging so little… and then I heard the little voice in my head: “because you are worthless.”

Oh, of course… it makes sense… And although I also think that I am the bomb, that I am amazing, etc… what has called the shot, is this little voice “you are worthless.”

And then I had a breakthrough: I saw that I have been listening to THAT voice when I was pricing my coaching… as if people were paying for my worth and not the coaching… And being worthless, I was still OVERPAID!

I then looked and said: are people paying for my worth, or the worth of my commitment to them? For what they can get?

So I looked at my purpose statement, my sheet music, my Organizing Principle.

Here it is, here is my written purpose for my life:

  1. to g-o-d: create specimens (including myself) and the science of becoming an expanding human being
  2. to my clients: to release them from the prison and enslavement created by society and their minds by using the tools I discover in my work to g-o-d
  3. to myself: to live as a human being, with dignity, receiving enough energy (including money) from my work to continue and be well and have energy to do my work till I die.

When I look at my commitment to my clients: I promise to release you from the prison and enslavement created by society and your mind… that should be worth more to you than what I am charging.

So I am raising my prices, across the board, for my coaching. If you are already a student: you are grandfathered in.

Subscribe to blog notifications.
You'll get a digest email every Sunday... you can email me to upgrade to daily.


  1. call (all) the shots = to decide on the course of action; to be in charge. Why do you have to call all the shots? Do what you’re told. I’ll call the shots.
    See also: call, shot

    call the shots and call the tune
    Fig. to make the decisions; to decide what is to be done. Sally always wants to call the shots, and Mary doesn’t like to be bossed around. They don’t get along well. Sally always wants to call the tune.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

3 thoughts on “Who or What is calling the shot in your life? Commitment – new thoughts, new experiences”

  1. Sophie, I don’t want to be like an addict justifying my need for an emotional fix. My job is to keep expanding, not to curl up in a comfy corner. I am increasingly willing to live without the approval and consolations of others. This work is always instructing me. My goal is to become myself. I commit to that. And I believe there is value in the company of extraordinary people.

  2. Thanks to your Instant Coherence class, I have my sheet music, and what a difference it’s making! But I truly get what you’re saying about the Conductor needing the support of coaching. My mind keeps reaching up and trying to grab me. I’m using the Reality: Nothing/Everything process, and stepping back videos, and connecting videos, over and over to break free from my mind when it grabs me, but I can see I will need the reinforcement of coaching.

    I’m excited about you raising your prices. I feel a shift and see dignity shining through you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.