From My Correspondence: Awakening: Will It Feel Good?
This is a student’s email to me.
“I’ve been reading your emails and doing the Unconditional Love Activator and taken the Bach Flower Remedy and I have felt things that I haven’t felt in a while, such as getting angry, wishing others wouldn’t win, etc.
I’m sort of miserable and then I was reading one of your latest blogs and you said if we had, I think, Wild Oat, Aspen, Centaury etc. in our Bach Flower Remedy then we could either connect to soul or find our soul’s purpose.
I need to reread it again because I just closed it & went to bed. Not to sleep per se, just because I DIDN’T know what else to do at that time. I felt so disgusted with myself and felt like I’d been given the chance to see if I connected to Source and had done all the things I had done to improve myself and it was taken away from me…
That’s how I felt, though, so please explain it to me again. In the meantime I will go reread the article and see if I can make out what you were trying to say.”
She started to participate about four months.
She comes to the meditations, she comes to trainings, and has been taking the remedy for about three weeks.
When I first made here remedy she was an ordinary older woman, discombobulated, not with it, but had a little bit of Life Force nudging her on to connect with me, and the classes.
Her current feelings are a breakthrough: she has started to feel her feelings, she has started to come alive.
It definitely doesn’t look like good news.
I have told you before: the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off… of in her case the truth will hurt first, disgust you first, send you to bed early to hide under the covers… lol.
I’ve been there. This is a great beginning.
If you expected that awakening is going to be a bed of roses, you are in for a nasty surprise.
You have been asleep to your nastiness, slothfulness, dumbness, self-deception, and awakening to that is no fun… I promise, actually I guarantee it.
Many of my students hasn’t awakened to their character flaws yet. Or they haven’t been able to say “thank you” to negative feedback.
So, why am I celebrating a student of my feeling bad? Am I crazy?
Crazy like a fox!
You can’t catch what you can’t see! And if you can’t catch it, you are stuck with it! It will sit on your eyes forever, and your Soul will make you miserable forever!
You really need to understand this: unless you are working with soul on its correction, it will make you suffer, it will make you sick, it will make your life hell on Earth!
The way to make life Heaven on Earth is to live according to the Original Design: your job, as a human being, is to work with Soul to correct its character flaws. They are your character flaws. You share them with Soul.
Sweeping them under the rug, lying about them, hoping they will go away, suppressing them with eating, sex, and drugs, and alcohol, and work won’t make you happy, will just keep you busy till you die.
So, what’s next for this student? What’s next is starting to work on one snippet of her soul correction.
It has everything to do with other people, in her case, given her specific soul correction.
She will need to transform her view, her ego-view of others, of herself, so she can share, be generous, really generous of heart… because that is her correction.
Hard enough for you? I betcha! Can she do it? We shall see, but I believe in her.
Yes, I for the first time in my life, knowing that I will need to really work, put in the required elbow grease and not just wallow around…yes, it would definitely be 100% worth doing what it takes, even if I don’t succeed. It’s my only shot at a real life!
Yet another insightful post! I have been feeling absolutely horrible lately and everywhere I go…there I am with all my worst tendencies and psychological garbage menacing every breath I take.
The moment I lay my head on my pillow and the millisecond I open my eyes in the morning, I am greeted by the all encumbering feelings: fear, anxiety, restlessness, not good enough, slothfulness, sadness… ugh, it is a litany of assaults.
But I had a pretty interesting, I would say profound insight this morning (while the Harmonizer played in the background). I am doing my best to detach as much as I can from all these feelings and just observe, nothing is wrong… merely observing. My observation brought me to realize that I have been dragging, cowering from these feelings for the majority of my life.
There have been some incremental changes but very little, perhaps not at all because I am still here with these same laden feelings.
That triggered more sadness and melancholy because I thought that perhaps I don’t have what it takes, not even a strong enough will to change and truly heal at my core, that maybe my soul contract is too challenging and my resolve is too weak.
But the thought of walking around an empty shell is too difficult to bear and Sophie is really the only person I have come across where I get a distinct understanding, deep in my soul, that it truly IS possible to change. I appreciate that she is direct and very clear that this work requires WORK and that we must face the ugly, inside… that she even acknowledges the ugly as plainly as she does is pretty radical and refreshing to me!
I am still not good at detaching because I don’t know how that is possible when my whole life I have wanted to be saved and to do as little work as possible (embarrassing to admit!!), and now I need to step up to the plate… there is a teeny spark lit up strong enough inside me that says “I too am capable of truly healing, of changing, or correcting my soul contract….it is possible.”
Thank you. This is what you need to keep in existence: it’s worth doing even if you die while it is not finished yet.
So, now, your most important “job” is to keep this inspiring fact, keep this direction in existence as an inspiring “Organizingin Principle”
Oh, and I hope Matsa is reading this. Matsa? I am talking to you!
Myrna, consider that I have put a 10 over your head. Meaning: I KNOW you can do it. The question therefore is: will you?
And I hear you say that the teeny spark says: you can do it… Now we are a team. Inside and outside… but still, the question remains: will you do what it takes?
Sigh, anxiety… yeah, I understand, you don’t know. You are afraid. Yeah… I was too. I know… So let me ask it differently: would it be WORTH doing what it takes, even if you didn’t succeed?
Unless you can answer, unless you are willing to answer YES to that question, the fear will stop you halfway.
I appreciate these words. Awakening is a bitch. And we have Sophie the Fox to be with as a guide. Thanks, Sophie. You are truly a pathfinder.
Only when we spot a character flaw and accept it in its hairy gory ugliness can we move through onto our next discovery. It is our choice. A choiceless choice, once we choose The Tree of life and Original Design.
Sophie, I am interested in your take on the Jesus Story. What do you think really happened?
Nancy, I have so many possible versions on that story, it is not even funny. But judging from what is coming up as I am doing the work, the turning point was when he saw that people are not willing to change. Just like for Moses. It is disheartening. You feel you need stronger measures, like a threat, a miracle, something you are faking.
On my calls I threaten people with being thrown off the call. Do I mean it? Is it what I really want to do? NOOOOOO! It is very painful to me. But it snaps back the young in us, to obedience.
I don't mind, actually, if it starts with obedience. Like in a surgery… and then when you know what lovely vistas are beyond the change, you'll choose it.
Yes, Stela, unconditional love does begin with yourself. But until you get that Source DOES love you unconditionally, it is a pretense only that you love yourself, you can't…
with regards to the explanation of what happens with the Bach Flowers, I think that is incorrect… The Bach Flowers were picked based on a homeopathic principle: a minute amount of the substance that causes the same affliction annuls the affliction.
Because the flowers are representation of really nasty energies, they are NOT high vibration, yet the result is a definite increase in vibration.
Did this make sense? When you remove something low vibration, the vibration increases…
Each Bach flower has a high spiritual vibration; the unconditional love activator is also high spiritual vibration. Our soul, in the process of resonating with those high spiritual vibrations, clears the low vibrations out. Being aware of these “obstacles” in our spiritual growing it makes the journey more interesting and rewarding. And this really happens when awareness is coming with the acceptance of our negative feelings, with the desire to pay attention to them and …to love them. After all, Sophie, the unconditional love should begin with ourselves, shouldn’t it?