So we suppress it. We feel shame about it. And it is killing us.
I first attempted to learn how to release my accumulated anger when I was in my mid-thirties... and it took me ten years to do that. I had no guidance, no permission, no one to tell me how to do it, really.
The common misconception is that expressing anger is a good thing: just let it all hang out, yell, beat your pillow senseless, but that is just plain not true. Expressing anger as anger doesn't empty you of anger, it just makes it worse, it drives it deeper.
Anger is normal, but it also something that makes you stupid, have a very narrow cone of vision... In my method, in the Playground, we widen the cone of vision and remove the stupidity. And surprisingly the anger dissipates, and disappears.
Check yourself for suppressed anger... and then sign up to the Playground. I am planning to open a session on Saturday or Sunday, 9 am NY time... And start training people to lead a Playground "chapter."
Checklist for Suppressed Anger
- Procrastination in the completion of imposed tasks.
- Perpetual or habitual lateness.
- A liking for sadistic or ironic humor.
- Sarcasm, cynicism or flippancy in conversation.
- Frequent sighing.
- over politeness, constant cheerfulness, attitude of "grin and bear it".
- Smiling while hurting.
- Frequent disturbing or frightening dreams.
- Over-controlled monotone speaking voice
- Difficulty in getting to sleep or sleeping through the night.
- Boredom, apathy, loss of interest in things you are usually enthusiastic about.
- Slowing down of movements.
- Getting tired more easily than usual.
- Excessive irritability over trifles.
- Getting drowsy at inappropriate times.
- Sleeping more than usual / maybe 12 to 14 hours a day.
- Waking up tired rather than rested or refreshed.
- Clenched jaws or grinding of the teeth / especially while sleeping.
- Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
- Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.
- Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
- Stomach ulcers.