Turn your face to the light… avoid the darkness, avoid the shadow

Keep-your-face-to-the-sun-and-you-will-never-see-the-shadows.-Helen-KellerI didn’t put this quote first, because I agree with it. In fact, exactly the opposite is true. All the light that is coming to you is lurking in the shadow, just waiting for you to find it… but, human nature, knee jerk reactions rob you of your birth right… And you end up living an empty life with no light… Ooops… This is what this article is designed to remedy.

Thank you for your concern all of you that were too afraid to send me an email, a message, good energies, your good wishes.

Two days ago, or was it three? I woke up with a terrible depression, a swollen neck and face, an aching ear and wrote about it. 1

Not one person wrote to me, by the way. For two days. Nothing. Silence. Holding of breath. Students came to call and didn’t ask.

When I asked my students: ‘why didn’t you ask how I was?’ They said: ‘I was afraid to ask.’

Hm, interesting. How you do anything is how you do everything… so this is how you live your life. Not what you tell me, but what you really do.

Turn away from the ugly, the unsightly, the dangerous… and ignore it. Hm. No wonder your life is a mess.

What’s the connection between avoiding the dark and having a life that’s a mess?

If you cannot or will not look at me getting ill, then you probably don’t look at anything that you don’t like…

Yesterday I had seven coaching sessions: all sessions had this theme: all clients wanted to will away something they didn’t want, without looking at it first.

We could safely say, that the human machine doesn’t want you to look at stuff that is scary. Or dark. Or distasteful. Or risky. Or… It uses a bad feeling to clue you in.

But how are you going to deal with darkness if you don’t look at it? Life is full of them, did you notice?

Anything that you avoid looking at, is running your life into ruin!

In the coaching (individual conversations, not a lecture) we looked… and in every single case, looking at the dark feeling curiously, questioningly, lovingly, maybe even validating it a little, we got to a place where the sun came out, the light came back on, and the tension of resistance was gone.

The machine wants you to run for the hills

The machine wants you to run for the hills, instead of looking at the bad feelings. Guilt, shame, frustration, fear, anger… they are all natural, they deserve to be looked at (just like I deserved to be looked at, without cringing, two headed monster I was, regardless.)

The feelings always have a guidance in them, but not the knee jerk reaction that you habitually employ.

Fear, for example, questioned, will show you an area where you can grow, an area or an aspect where the activity that you are now trying to avoid, can give you tons of learning, and may take you out of the hole you have dug yourself in, with all your avoidance and knee jerk reactions.

every bad feeling carries in it the light, or more precisely, point to the source of light

Which means: every bad feeling carries in it the light. Or as Kabbalists say: the darkest is where the Light hides.

Whether there is Light, whether there was a Creator, whether any of it is true, the Kabbalists were right about that part: the dark hides the light. The darker, the more light it hides.

What they forgot to say is how to deal with the darkest. How to “mine” the light

I have found that there are steps, easy, smooth, and effective.

  1. Change your attitude toward the dark. Accept it, allow it, if you can, love it, like you love a strange abandoned child. Without this change in attitude none of the rest will work.
  2. Bring gentle, non-gossipy curiosity to the dark. I’ll use fear in this example, because it’s the most common, but I could use anger, frustration, sadness, etc. as well.

    ‘What are you trying to say, Fear? What could happen that is not good, nice, pretty, or dangerous?’
    After you ask the question, you’ll be surprised that the answer will be right there. ‘That I won’t know…’ ‘That I won’t be fast enough,’ ‘That I will be punished,’ ‘That I’ll lose control…’ are just some of the answers we got yesterday.

    The answers reveal the epicenter of the fear, the crucial issue.

  3. Then look, and ask yourself: Why would that be such a big issue? Is it inevitable? Can I deal with it? Can I learn on the way to it? What if it does happen? What will I do then?

You are treating “Fear” as if it were a trusted friend, you are validating the signal, you are validating the fear, but in a different manner than the normal knee-jerk reaction of running for the hills.

Normally, you resist the fear, you fight the fear, you will away the fear, you hide from the fear, you distract yourself from the fear: no respect. We, instead, validate, accept, allow everything that we would “normally” fight. Result: happiness, peace of mind, results, purposefulness, and good relationships. Good health too… All that resisting makes you sick.


I love doing this type of work with people — help them dig out of the hole, dig out of the ditch where they are stuck

I love doing this type of work with people, teaching them how to do it for themselves. Because this is the process that gets them out of the deep hole from where they can’t see their path.

And if they fall into a hole again, they can now dig themselves out faster.

And being out of the hole changes life completely: you have choice, you have horizon, you have light.

When you have a hard time seeing what you could do with your life, what could be satisfying enough to make it worth getting out of bed, this process skillfully done once, or on more issues than one, can reliably take you to a place from where life looks actually worth living.

Subscribe to blog notifications.
You'll get a digest email every Sunday... you can email me to upgrade to daily.


  1. I am better, by the way. More precisely: I am improving. The fever stopped, some of the swelling is gone down, I can see a jaw line, I can hear, and the depression is gone.

    Why and how? I did what I teach. I allowed it to take its course. Of course I muscle tested asking the questions that are important: is this life threatening, should I go to see a doctor, a mortician, should I eat, etc. I also used some energies on myself, nothing fancy, the ones I use in the self-healing course: you can get access to them for a pittance. I also used the Big Bundle: huge energies bundled so that I don’t have to say a certain guru’s name ever again.

    Because it came at the exact same time as the monthly energy attacks come, it was confusing to say the least, but I am well, and the attacks are continuing, and I am well, creative as ever… ready to roll. Thank you for your concern, if you had any.

    Oh, one more thing: I think (this is really a guess!) that aome religious teacher sent his/her students to my site, to use me as proof the god smites the anti christ… OK. I really made this up, but it is fun to think myself important.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “Turn your face to the light… avoid the darkness, avoid the shadow”

  1. Great exercise on allowing, i’m going to start employing this into my daily life!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.