The tiny steps approach to life
I could make a lot of enemies with this article. But don’t worry: I won’t, unless by accident.
The success or business gurus, whose business will suffer if you follow this path, aren’t in the habit of checking what people say about the stuff they teach. They are so sure they got you, hook, line and sinker, that they will never suspect that they lost you to some other theory of success.
And they will be right.
In what, you say? In their approach. Not to business, but to you, my success or money seeker reader.
What is it about you, you ask, that makes you such an easy prey to success and business gurus?
Simply put, the fact that you are a machine, that swallowed the “party line” already, hook line and sinker. That “party line” prepared you for these gurus unethical teaching, teaching that doesn’t work for you, can’t work for you, won’t work for you.
And what is that? you ask?
That you can get from A to Z, in one fell swoop. Or that you can map out the steps from a to z and follow the steps, like a blueprint, and you’ll get there. Will become thin, rich, healthy, and happy.
It is not so, I say.
People write sales pitches making the end goal really pretty, really sexy, really desirable, and you buy the product hoping that it will do it for you.
I had a few really amazing experiences to prove this lately.
I got on a call this week, because an associate of mine was going to be grilled on it. It turned out to be a strategy session: creating a strategy, a business plan for this associate of mine.
It was brilliant. It was sparking. It was amazing. It sold a few seats in the strategist’s 6,000 dollar a year program. But it will, probably, be useless for my associate.
EVEN IF HE BUYS THIS STRATEGIST’S YEAR LONG PROGRAM FOR SIX THOUSAND BUCKS!
Wow, Sophie, now you are exaggerating!
I am not. Let me take you through the logic that made me make that outrageous statement.
A 6,000 dollar program normally makes you learn all the basics of a business model: recorded calls, pdf’s, and maybe even live group coaching sessions will not likely to take you to where you want to get to.
A prefab, ready to go course doesn’t take your strengths and weaknesses into consideration. It doesn’t take what you know and what you specifically need for YOUR business to happen into consideration.
To sell something for so cheap (a 6K a year program is cheap!) it has to be a one-size fits all program.
I, accidentally, know the strategist: she is my mindset client. We trade. We talk once a week. I teach her half the time, she coaches me 10 minutes at a time.
Why does it work for me?
1. I already have the skills, technical, sales, and marketing skills I need to make this business grow
2. I only want to accomplish one thing in those 10 minutes: share what had opened up as a result of the previous week’s actions, and strategize to define the next week’s action.
Wow, wow… that is horrible, would most guru say. You need to have a business plan, you need to have an action plan ahead of time. Why? Who said so? Everybody, they say.
And as usual, the majority is always wrong.
But, you say, isn’t that what the Law of Attraction people say? Yeah, and they are wrong.
In every area of life.
This wrong theory is underneath the 50% divorce rate, the 98% business failure rate, the masses that are sick, tired, and poor.
OK, your numbers sound right, Sophie… so what’s up with that?
The problem with the current “planning” theory is that it designs a structure for the machine to go through, unconsciously, unaware, un-looking, in-flexible.
The easiest are to prove my point is relationships.
You have this plan to get a serious relationship that will lead to marriage.
You know the steps: write a list of yes and no characteristics for the ideal person, blah blah blah. You know those idiotic plans that you read about to get married, don’t you?
The trouble begins when you find/meet someone. It looks and feels good in the beginning, and you decide: “this is the one.”
The machine, your machine, heard you and says: “you got it!”
And that’s when the machine completely takes over. You look at all the things that justify your decision, and minimize the things that would tell you to run the other way.
Werner Erhard, the founder of the est training had a big organization. When people in his organization wanted to get married, they were asked to get an audition with Werner. With the person they intended to marry.
He always asked just one question of each: If you got divorced what would be the reason? They never had to look, the answer was right there: but they had never considered it as a big NO before the audition.
Those big NOs were swept under the rug, only to come out years later and destroy the illusion of marriage, the illusion of the relationship.
So what is there to do when you are building or running a relationship (or when you are building or running a business)?
Never delegate the task to the machine. Stay alert, stay present, and leave deciding on the next step from the DATA you got from your previous week.
In my humble opinion, and in my practice, we should always keep the goal in mind, but put 99% of our attention on the results of the tests we run.
Life is a test. A series of tests. I do this — this happens. I do that — that happens. I eat this, I say this, I wear this, I make this facial expression… and track the results.
Saying no is far more valuable that saying yes.
Most of our lives is given to the areas where we should say no, but the machine is running, and using our lives.
Once you have the courage to say no, the yeses are much more clear.
This associate of mine, before he could contemplate putting that brilliant plan to action, will have to say a lot of painful no. And unless he does, he can forget it. And the no will just come, even when you have thought you are done. Where do they come from? Your environment, from the culture, from TV, headlines, shopping… everywhere.
It takes a no-saying machine to win in life. Your yes has no power if you say yes to useless crap, distractions, false starts, and pleasing others.
The Heaven on Earth remedy helps you stay clearer, helps you have to courage to say no, helps you look where it matters (results) instead of your flighty feelings.
You can navigate the most dangerous, treacherous waters with the help of the remedy, if you commit to the end result (the context) and decide on the small steps, on the how from the results. And be diligent at saying no where you need to.
This is yet the most counter-cultural principle I have ever taught.
The Tree of Knowledge is everywhere, killing Life.
And get your Heaven on Earth… in the sidebar of the site. Do it now.