It’s the last day of 2014, and there is an undue optimism in the air. A stranger even said hello to me in the street…
Even more than at the beginning of spring… the calendar is telling you that hopefully 2015 will be different.
You will lose the weight, you will find the job of your dreams, you will get out of debt, you will start that business, you will find the love of your life.
Pie in the sky, if you ask me.
What?! Am I raining on your parade? Yeah, I am.
All your dreams start in the mindset: wrong, wrong, wrong, all your goals are fixing goals, and what you are building on is a solid experience of yourself of being full of crap, a wannabe, a lazy bum, or whatever you call yourself as.
So, how do you think it will work out?
If you are like my ex boyfriend, you are sure it will be different. You’ll stop drinking, smoking, wasting your life, being angry, vengeful, lazy, whatever you are right now.
In one of the best exercises ever invented, you are asked to write down, in detail, what you do and how you “be”, what is your attitude, in a certain area of life where you want change… because it doesn’t work as well as you’d like it to.
Then you are asked to project that into the future: if you continue doing what you are doing, being the way you are, having the same attitude, what will happen in that area of life.
If you do what you are asked to do, it is mortifying. It is a moment of rude awakening seeing the disaster the area is.
But we live as if life could change, even though we keep doing the same things, the same way, be the same person we have always been, having the same attitude.
I know, your mind is arguing with me at the moment, but that is what the mind does: it always knows better.
Now, let me tell you something that will surprise you even more: if you started to do different things, but your attitude stayed the same, your life would be even more disastrous than if you didn’t do anything different.
Why? Because every time you want to fix something that is wrong, you mess up your life even more, and you lose more of your self-respect, self-esteem.
This is the life of a human, or we could call this stage: human doing, human fixing, human reaction machine.
I used to be a failure. Not that I had failures galore, no. I actually had a lot of successes. But I still felt like a failure. And my life was miserable, though many people envied me. They would have been so happy having my life.
But, no matter what I did, no matter whether it succeeded or not, I felt like a failure.
Until that changed, and it has, I didn’t like myself, and I didn’t like my life.
Now, let’s look at you, my typical reader: you don’t like yourself. And you don’t do much… You read stuff, you dream of a high self esteem, wait for self-confidence, and when the New Year rolls around, you make some bombastic resolution. You have been, for many years now.
Your resolutions became the confirmation that you are doomed, that you should not have high self-esteem or self-confidence, because you didn’t do anything much about your New Year resolution.
The problem is that you are trying to do something different, you are trying to have something different, while being the same person: a loser, a dork, worthless, bad, or whatever you secretly say about yourself.
Doing something different with the same mindset, the same consciousness, the same attitude, will produce the same result
Until you can raise your consciousness level to the level where there is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with your life, it is the way it is, you are the way you are, and you can look at it all with sober eyes, you are not going to be able to change anything.
And getting to that next consciousness level takes a lot of work. It’s not a campaign, something that you will get done by next spring… it is ongoing, because the whole “human condition”, the hard wiring of the human machine is working, diligently, 24/7 against you.
If you want to set a New Year resolution, because of the dangerous optimism that sweeps the land, sign up to my Playground, and promise to come to every class. Buy the Harmonize audio (preferably with the speaker, which is set it and forget it) and commit to play it for at least six months.
The audio and the Playground will work on your mindset, work on your consciousness, and at some point your actions will start to build instead of fixing what isn’t wrong to begin with.
Then you can have confidence that 2015 will be a year of new beginnings.
Just one more thing:
And we are even more prone to overestimate the value of a bombastic New Year resolution. We feel good because we expressed an intention… but the better it feels the less it works! It makes you feel good for a day, maybe three, but it will make you feel really crappy when you notice that your speaking has had no power, and the actions are not following.
Until you build a strong relationship with your word, your word will have no power and speaking “positively” will make you more miserable than anything. Because the gap between how it “should” be and the way it is, is getting bigger and bigger.
Forget about short term campaigns and start building a strong foundation for a life worth living.
If nothing else changed, and you got dropped your dream on you: a size 5 figure, a bank account with seven digit balance, a job you desire… you would start to get fat, waste your money, and lose your job.
Why? Because you have no foundation for having them at all. The consciousness is missing.
Or if you met the man of your dreams, you would muck it up. I used to pray to NOT meet the man of my dreams until I am a match to having a relationship that works.
I’d hate to have the Man of my dreams in my past… as a roadkill.
It is true: no situation can be made better on the same level of consciousness that created it. Only a higher level of consciousness can make it better…