Unfortunately for you, being inspired is a beingness, and cannot be accessed from the outside, through the mind, through the eyes: you either have access to beingness, and that particular beingness, or you don't. Bummer for all of us who are trying to inspire you.
It is much like wanting to teach the pig to fly. Or sometimes it is also said: teach the pig to sing. It will only annoy the pig, and it will never fly.
Does this mean I consider you a pig? In this context you are like a pig... which, English please, does not mean you are a pig. If I told you you are like a rock, immovable, would you be offended?
Consider that every time you are offended, the "offense" was too close to home, for comfort, you were running the risk to be found out. If I called you a rock or a zebra, you would laugh... because it is so outlandish... but not pig.
It's not conscious, it's an unconscious defense mechanism, defending not YOU, but your EGO.
Let me return to the inspiring movie that has been coming up these past day and today: it's about a young man who wants to become a doctor, saves his wages up, only to lose them all, in one day, to the Great Depression and the bank going bankrupt.
He goes to work in a hospital, and invents a procedure to fix a genetic birth defect that is killing babies left and right. It's an invasive surgery, and he experiments on animals in his care.
He succeeds. By some twist of fate, he performs the surgery through a proxy. He never becomes a surgeon, but he has made a difference.
He becomes an instructor of cardiac surgery, even though he is not a doctor, and saves all those babies' lives.
Now, what is the inspiration in this story? Let me count the ways... lol.
The whole world, the system, everything conspired again him fulfilling on this dream. He didn't consider it guidance. He considered it challenge.
He wasn't socially designated or allowed to do the work he wanted to do, so he did it through proxy. Amazing.
He held to it till the end. Never gave up more than temporarily, never jumped from one thing to the other, never considered that others should do it for him. He knew that if it was to be, it was up to him.
He didn't have to see the path laid out in front of him, not even two steps in advance. He just took the next step, did it well, and then the next step because available.
And here is the trump card: he didn't listen to all the voices that said that he should be anything other than he wanted to be. He listened inward, and his insides talked.
All inspiration comes from the inside. But for that you need to look inward. Not just when you "want" something, always.
There is nothing worth having outside... no worthy guidance, nothing worth having.
Your job is to look inside...
But, a big but at that: first you need to confront all the ways you don't approve of yourself, and bring a kind eye to it. Not forgiveness. Forgiveness presupposes that you did something wrong. No, you did something, society and you labeled it wrong, but it was just what you did. You've paid for it over and over, again.
Forget forgiveness. No one can do anything to you, and you can't do anything to anyone, including to yourself.
Bring consciousness, awareness instead. To the good, the bad and the ugly. See them for what they are, and move on.
Until you do, you can't access your insides. Sorry...