I grew up communist, atheist, so when I left Hungary in 1982, I went to Israel to find out what it means to be Jewish. Honestly, I didn’t like any of it… It wasn’t for me… all that tradition, or alternatively all that worldliness…
I came the the US, and at some point I started to study Kabbalah with the Kabbalah Centre… 1 Kabbalah is an incomprehensible vague oral tradition, wide open to interpretation, and thus, for most people it is quite useless. Mystical, yeah… but… mystical for a purpose is poison to your soul.
The study of Kabbalah used to be limited to men over 40. Why? because younger men, and women are more result oriented.
Result oriented is good… you would say if you live in our culture, that is what you are supposed to be, right?
On the horizontal plane, in the marketplace, in the world of shadows and misery: yes. That is the stuff of that horizontal plane, and that is also the cause of the misery.
Whaaat? You should be stunned, maybe even screaming.
When you have your eyes on the result (scoreboard, winning, bank balance, number of followers, etc.) you live in the future, and completely miss the present moment.
What’s wrong with that? Well, if missing life completely is not wrong for you, then nothing… lol.
But you miss life.
Because few people would enjoy rolling the boulders day in and day out… and that is your life.
Holiday means commemoration: something happened in the past and now we are asked to rejoice.
No, Kabbalah has days or weeks of awareness on your journey to become human BEINGs, but, of course, organized religion calls them holidays, and you miss the lesson.
Passover that somewhat coincides with Easter, so we are in Passover week.
This whole period is what one could call, the yearly attempt to get us rid of the results thinking, and get into beingness.
Beingness is being in the present moment with a wide cone of vision. The cone of vision is already wider because you let go of results, goals, striving, desiring, wanting. That already widens your cone of vision. And then, to the degree that you climb higher on the vertical (The Tree of Life) the wider even it becomes, to include past, present and future: you can see everything.
Why is this so difficult? Because it is difficult, just ask me… every spring I lose everything and have for too many years, because I get hooked on results.
This year hasn’t been different, I still got hooked, but only partially, so so far I haven’t lost everything…
But would not you stay in bed, watch soaps and eat ice cream all day, unless the imperative to produce results keeps you up and in motion?
I have found exactly the opposite to be true: when I am hooked on the result, I don’t want to do it. When I am hooked I alternate between fantasizing about the future and hating what it takes to get there. And depression… with extreme case of not wanting to do anything… lol, not funny.
Getting hooked is easy: the whole world conspires against you. Misery loves company.
Getting unhooked is relatively easy if you notice that you are hooked. If you see the hook for what it is: a conspiracy to pull you out of your Self and into the shadow world of desires, if you see it for its futility, then it is easy to get unhooked.
We each have our own dominant hook. For me it is notoriety… going from worthless nothing to something… very seductive.
But that notoriety is in the world and of the world… an illusion. No joy in it, maybe some glee, but I won’t trade joy for glee…
And yet it’s taken me almost two weeks.
I know what the trigger was, by the way. I was in a Home Depot looking for a piece for my mite trap… and I started to “brag” about the uniqueness and amazingness of the idea… and how many people need it, and… you get the drift, don’t you?
Suddenly it wasn’t just a thing I tested, it wasn’t just a thing I did: it because the pathway to fame, and fortune.
What a joke. It became the pathway to two weeks of utter misery.
I have shaken it off. Kathryn’s comment, returning me to being who I am, was the last feather that tipped the scales.
I am back, I am well, and I am working on what I am working on… because that is what I am working on…
A successful break for freedom… would not you like to have one too?
And here is a blood moon video… whatever that means…