In search of quick transformation... the role of the linchpin
The state of humanity in the 21st century is utter confusion, utter blindness, no distinctions, everything is black and white, or gray: no shades, no precision.
But without distinctions you can't change anything. If everything is the same as everything else, you are doomed to fail. But, good news, you can start with distinguishing just one sentence, and it will make all the difference
There are only a few rules I live by.
One of the most important and easiest to break is to "never speak from the Tree of Knowledge."
The Tree of Knowledge is everything you already knew. Everything you learned from another as a mental construct, mind stuff, information.
What else is there? Experience.
You speak from the Tree of Life when what you are saying is your direct experience, right in the moment you are saying it. Not something that you remember, but something that is there, in the moment of speaking.
Tall order, but I've been doing really well with it.
But how do you get to real knowledge? After all Life is a repetitive dull stagnant pool for most of us... correct me if I am wrong, but only after you look... ok?
I use tools that allow me to poke the box. One tool is connecting (oh yeah? oh yeah, it's a tool, it's not the goal!). Another tool is playing Freecell, a computer card game. It's been taking me to deep knowledge, but more that that: to linchpin distinctions that keep together this whole way of miserable life. Attack the linchipin and the whole construct falls apart.
Freecell is a lot like life. You can test every failings of the modern mind while you are playing freecell. Being reactive, having a narrow cone of vision, wanting to win, instead of wanting to play. Forcing, fear of failure, self-doubt, wanting to quit, giving up... and the list is endless, you know these well, I am sure.
One of them, a weakness of mine, is doing things out of order, expecting them to work. (linchpin alert!)
I started to pay attention because one of my students is going through a tough time. They lost loved ones in quick succession. I mean loved ones, not just family.
My mom died and I grieved for six weeks. And I had a bad and very limited relationship with her. Imagine if I had loved her!
This student isn't giving themselves permission to grieve. Brave front, shoulds, social life, dancing at a show... all out of order, out of sequence.
This made me look.
You expect your leg pain (or any other pain, trouble, etc.) to go away from a healing session, from connecting, without doing the work that precedes healing of anything.
This must be the modern mind: after all you can go to a fast food joint and get a hamburger without ever having to think that the cow was born, fed, slaughtered, butchered, ground, made into patties, etc. etc. etc.
Hundreds of days, hundreds of tasks preceded that hamburger, that you didn't have to do, but somebody did.
Life is not a jump. It is a lot like building, brick by brick. (linchpin alert!)
Sometimes you need to remove what's there, demolish the building, even remove the foundation. Dig it up, use jackhammer if you must. Because you can't build happiness and fulfillment on a foundation that was designed for misery. It won't work.
You need to go backwards until you find solid foundation worth building on.
For many of you, the foundation you have needs to go!
- My lovely songwriter friend: grew up in a cult... the foundation is faulty. You can't build a healthy life on it.
- My lovely musician friend: grew up adopted: unwanted and a throwaway: you can't build a healthy life on that.
- My lovely British friend: grew up in a family of extreme abuse: the only escape he had is his self-righteous view of right and wrong. You can't build a healthy life on that!
- And the list goes on and on and on.
I did that work, and you will need to do it too.
We are not building a palace of cards here, like in other gurus' programs.
And we are not offering the immersion work either. You can go and try one of those immersion works: but beware, they are quite cultish or they are cults.
The one that I used, Landmark, has gotten so tame and lame that there is not any crying in the sessions any more. It went all intellectual. Talking about grief isn't. Talking about pain isn't. Talking about anger isn't. (linchpin)
You will need to re-experience the damage: but not from the middle of it. (linchpin)
I train you to create a distance. A distance between the feelings and the observer.
The feelings will be real, but you, my friend, will be the observer. Feel the feelings, but there will be a buffer between you and you... so you can heal it.
You can't heal a feeling by repeating it without a shift of the vantage point.
I healed my relationship with my abusive father through a sideway glance (linchpin)... and that is what you need to do.
First. Right after you master stepping back, and before you expect much results, physically, emotionally, financially, and in your relationships.
There is an order to things, and you can't really violate the order.
I have always had a problem with order. I was part of an inventor team that created the "building a building from the top down." But if you scratched the slogan: we still built the foundation first!
In my brain damage the capacity to do things step by step was fundamentally damaged.
I needed to rebuild it if I wanted any kind of life that works. I did. And now you can experience the benefits for yourself: I know how to guide you: I have to go through it every day, in business, and in playing freecell... yeah. Let's play freecell, shall we?
My 2nd Phase Activators Course group is doing an experiment: we'll see the results in a few weeks. We are going for the linchpin.
This is what we are doing: catch one action that returns you to the self-destructive, self-damaging, downward spiral way of being. Catch the trigger point, the linchpin.
It's always a sentence. Not what happens, no, never. Not what you feel, no, never.
It is an unconscious statement your mind says. It always says the same sentence. You almost never hear it, because the emotions and the reaction come so fast, you don't have time to hear the sentence.
Mine was: I can't and I never will... Meaning: no matter what I do, things won't change, I won't change, why bother.
The sentence is always a lie. It is an untruth. It always gets you off the hook. It always leaves you the victim.
But you have never really been a victim, victim is not real. You may have been beaten, raped, violated, made wrong, failed, left behind, abandoned. But none of those actions result, necessarily, in victim.
I have been pummeled by Mr. Tr. for weeks. My friend and myself infected with blood sucking attachments. My computers, my servers, my webinars break under the spikes of electricity. My energized water reduced to crap. It would be normal to feel like a victim.
But victim is resistance. Victim is saying: this shouldn't be. Victim is giving all the power to the perpetrator.
I have been choosing to be a blade of grass, I have been choosing to bring compassion to the events, and pity Mr. Tr..
Chop wood and carry water... chop it again, carry it again. Spilled, spoiled? No problem. It's all in a day's work.
And when my body tightens up, when a moan comes up saying "No matter what I do..." I just chuckle, relax my body, and keep on chopping wood and carry water.
It takes practice to master it, but you will be surprised to find that a simple sentence distinguished and caught, laughed at will begin to unravel the foundation of your life, clear the ground for something beautiful to build.
I guarantee it. Especially if you
- stay in a supportive community where others work on their sentence
- connect deep and long to get guidance
- get clear and publicly authentic about the sentence you intend to arrest.
We have frameworks for all those, but you can create your own group, do it inside another course of study, as long as you do it.
Until you do this work, you have to be a sleepwalker. But life lived sleeping is not worth living.