Expectation is the mother of Disappointment

expectation is the mother of disappointmentOne of the questions I hear on the Talk-to-Me calls or in emails is how to "make it better" or what is good, etc.

It's all a comparison, past based, from the mind.

One thing, disappointment 1 can't be made better. It's like pregnant: it is either a yes or a no.

Now, I assume that we all get disappointed, more or less, depending on us.

disappointment-2Disappointment is the shadow side of expectation.

Expectation, of course, is quite automatic, just like having an agenda is automatic... actually they are just a different word for the same thing.

I haven't been able to consciously not expect a certain result... on the other hand, for the most part I expect nothing... or expect the worst.

This is another Dark Side suggestion: expect the best and then you'll get the best... What a bunch of huey! The whole positive thinking movement is a Dark Side suggestion, and has created more misery than even religion, which is saying a lot.

Expecting the best won't get you the best... Exactly the opposite is true.

Expect the best and you'll be perpetually disappointed, pissed, frustrated, angry... in another word, miserable, and will make everyone miserable around you.

Don't expect the best. Either expect the worst and then you'll always feel good about what is happening, or don't expect anything.

Look and see what happens... instead of being the stupid weather forecast person, calling your hopes powerful expectations... expecting things you have NO GROUNDS to expect.

The least successful people I know are positive thinker, and they expect the best.

The lower your vibration the more you live in hope, positive expectations, day-dreaming, trying, and disappointment.

I, instead, expect what is predictable. People will be stupid, nasty, users, and I am never disappointed.

Now, that doesn't mean that I encourage them to be stupid, nasty, or a user... No. I encourage them to be normal, and whatever is normal for them is going to come back. 2

I used to sell advertising to club owners. For a while I was really frustrated because the club owners were an especially crafty bunch. They would expect something for nothing, and give me bouncing checks, not pay me before the ad appeared and such.

So, one day, I decided that club owners are SUPPOSED TO BE ASSHOLES. I set rules of engagement, and I never had another unpaid ad.

Same with boy friends, chiropractors, landlords, students, customers... I expect them to be the way they are (not all good, lol) and they are mostly exactly that way.

I set my boundaries, and I am even keeled, even if they do nasty stuff.

And when occasionally I don't realize I had an expectation

...and they do what they do, not what I hoped they would do, I do some soul searching, I recognize disappointment, and I take it back to "OH, I had an expectation..." so it is all on me.

Now, let's look at this from the side of the people who are unfortunate to have to deal with you: they are, every time you have an agenda or expectation, they are made wrong, they are being forced, and they experience manipulation, coercion, force... So you are no fun... you are actually hell to deal with.

So do yourself a favor, and distinguish for yourself agenda and expectation.

Everyone will be better off... including, of course, you.

Footnotes

  1. the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
    "to her disappointment, there was no chance to talk privately with Luke"
    synonyms: sadness, regret, dismay, sorrow; More
    dispiritedness, despondency, distress, chagrin;
    disenchantment, disillusionment;
    displeasure, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement
    "his disappointment in the outcome was obvious"
    antonyms: satisfaction

    a person, event, or thing that causes disappointment.
    plural noun: disappointments
    "the job proved a disappointment"
    synonyms: letdown, nonevent, anticlimax, washout; informal: bummer
    "the trip was a bit of a disappointment"

  2. One area I have recently conquered is chocolate. I used to buy chocolate, expecting it to last a week. I predictably ate it all within a few hours, and had the also predictable fuzziness, heaviness, tiredness. Now I know to expect myself the way I am: out of control when it comes to chocolate, and if I buy any, I buy a little piece I can eat in the parking lot, even before I get to the car... Now I am not disappointed... I expect what is predictable.

    Shall I expect myself to change? Change is not easy... I don't have enough reason to change. So I expect myself to be the same, and I control my behavior with my shopping... or not shopping.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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