The issue here, I guess, is universal. It has two parts:
- you can’t see the big picture, the forest, for the trees. You are stuck with your ONE interpretation of facts
- you are not good, practiced, skillful at taking advantage of the practices I have taught.
A student of mine has a daughter. The daughter decided to join the swim team. She is 13 years old. The only person who can take her to her swimming is my student.
And although it is great that the daughter wants to do something that she likes, it takes a chunk of time out of the mother’s “me” time.
So a good news is threatening to become a burden. Tell me if you haven’t had to deal with a similar issue… I used to be someone for whom even having a date was a burden… lol. Going out to eat was a burden.
It is human to be hard to please.
When you were hungry, you wanted to eat… When you weren’t hungry you refused to eat.
Now, it would be normal to grow up, and in some areas of our lives we grew up… but in most areas who is running the show is the toddler.
The one who is hard to please, want what they want when they want it, and don’t want what they don’t want when they don’t want it.
We find ourselves being imposed upon… with no chance of enjoying our lives.
And as I have said before, your actions, your emotions follow what you see, not what you think in your mind.
But what if I told you that words, conscious words created consciously, can change what you see.
Not affirmations: they are mind stuff. Not positive thinking: that is another type of mind stuff.
Conscious words designing a reality. Not a lie. But action that come out of the “truth”: reality: collective hunch at best.
You see, you have a fixed way of seeing what is, and that has been giving you your life. You treat what you see as if that were the true reality, but it isn’t. It is just ONE VALID INTERPRETATION.
What if you could master creating interpretations, valid interpretations, all using the pieces of reality that are actually there?
You see, in one interpretation you are screwed, in another one, just as valid, you just got yourself a gift there is no other way to get.
I recommended my student to try out the interpretation: she doesn’t have to stay in the swimming pool herself, she can drop off her daughter, go to the nearest wi-fi hotspot, and pick the daughter up when she is all dressed and ready to leave.
In the hotspot she can do all the work she never has time to do at home, read my articles, catch up on her reading, catch up on her webinars, maybe eve watch movies… movies I recommended but she never had time for.
The new interpretation makes this change in her life a gift instead of a burden.
And… wait for it… she can love her daughter for it, instead of being resentful.
Do you think that will effect her entire life? You bet it will…
So, don’t be stuck with the “reality” you see… the “reality” you see is just one valid interpretation of the facts… the more you can make up, the happier person you’ll be.
Now, will getting activators, like the second phase activators, make this automatic?
No. What the activators will do is make it easier to make up interpretations. But the doing is still yours… Don’t kid yourself.
PS: By the way, this method is called “reframing” in psychology.