Want to become a nice person? Here is a clue that you aren’t

Self satisfaction alone cannot determine if a desire or action is positive or negative. The demarcation between a positive and a negative desire or action is not whether it gives you a immediate feeling of satisfaction, but whether it ultimately results in positive or negative consequences.

Every soul correction is about correcting the desire to receive (Light) for the self alone.

If you were born, you have a soul correction.

There is no jumping into “desire for the sake of sharing”, which selfless, charitable, do gooders try to do.

Being charitable, giving, do-gooding, selfless is NOT desire for the sake of sharing, it is just more “desire to receive for the self alone.”

Bummer, eh?

As I am sitting here pondering one of my favorite students’ Reclaim share where she is proudly telling me that her husband walked in during the webinar, evidently hungry, she could courageously ignore him and not be interrupted.

My, my…

You may not hear anything: I hear “nasty piece of work”, or simply: “desire to receive for the self alone.”





An arrow goes forward only after pulling in to backward. Bullet goes forward only after pressing the trigger backward. Every human being will get happy only after facing the difficulties in their life path. So do not afraid to face your difficulties. They will push you forward

So what am I listening for when I hear that?

OK, listen up, this is the trick:

Desire to receive for the self alone is an either you or me phenomenon.

So, I looked what I would do if I had a house guest for the weekend and I’d have a webinar to lead at 12 noon, or 11 am… but lunchtime would be during the webinar.

I would prepare ahead. I would use my foresight, which is a combination of The Sight, and caring about the other person, and prepare lunch before the webinar, with a nice note: please help yourself. Don’t wait for me, just enjoy. I’ll be done on the webinar at 2 pm, 1 pm… whatever it is in your time zone.

Now, it happens that this student has “The Sight” activated and it is working. But she is more interested in being right, whatever she is right about, with regards to her husband.

When I suggested, about a year ago, that she considers leaving him if he is that bad, she said she would make it work… but it was a lie.

She was going to enjoy many more years of superiority, judgment, and being right about him… but she didn’t own it.

You see, if you live with someone, but you are right about ANYTHING about them, you are caught up in desire to receive for the self alone, pure evil.

The capacity of kicking the desire to receive for the self alone to the curb… (one time action… repeat as often as you can see you are caught in it) is available… but, surprise, you’ll only use it, if it is more important to you to take care of people in your life than being right about them being a [slave driver, nasty person, disgusting, lazy, uncaring… add your own judgment here] person… than being well, raising your vibration, becoming a human being.

So, let me recap: you are in the dominion of either them or me.

You either take care of them or make them wrong. Simply: they, what they do, how they look, how they treat you needs to change or you will continue being right about them and making them wrong… punishing them, treating them with contempt, hate, dislike, superiority, or whatever is you favorite way to let others know that they are wrong.

Now, if you are telling yourself that you are not this way, you are lying. Or you can’t see.

Desire to receive for the self alone is the floor on which humans live… and if you are human, you have it.

But you can catch it and “kick it” to the curb.

The DNA capacity is called “The Kick” but beware, you have to care, at least a little bit, for yourself, for your wellness, for your future.

Don’t do it for them… do it for you. Selfish makes you take care of yourself… and kick the nastiness to the curb.

I have another student who can’t let go of nastiness, of being personally offended, or being miserable.

She is not Selfish enough… She is willing to destroy her health, her daughter, her job to be right that her mother was a bad person by not paying enough attention to her, or whatever it was.

She is half-way there… I mean destroying herself and her life.

Shall we root for her that she succeeds?

Same with people who are “battling” debilitating diseases: who must suffer so you can be right? Who are you proving wrong?

Mother? Father? those are the most likely culprit.

You need to kick that to the curb, and bring “and-ness” to life. They did that and you are fine. They are that and you are still giving because you said you would.

I played that game with my mother. Not until I allowed for the possibility that being miserable didn’t effect her, that maybe there is another side to the story, not just one, that I was able to get well.

Today when I think about her, the first thing that comes to mind is she doing things… just doing things. Not beating me, not yelling at me, not calling me names, not depriving me… Just doing things… neutral. I am moved by this. I never even hoped to get here.

Do I have the capacity of “desire for the sake of sharing?”

Yes, the capacity is turned on. And I use it to 70% of its potential… When I don’t, I get angry, frustrated, maybe even hateful. Or sad, depressed, and start to eat stuff that’s not good for me.

Or go to bed late. Or not take a bath. Or not go to my walks.

You see, Selfish is missing for me 30% of the time. I cannot be well when desire to receive (Light) for the self alone is running the show. Unless everyone benefits, you don’t get any lasting Light either.

Subscribe to blog notifications.
You'll get a digest email every Sunday... you can email me to upgrade to daily.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

6 thoughts on “Want to become a nice person? Here is a clue that you aren’t”

  1. Sophie, I am so glad you wrote this article. You are right on. It’s a nasty, painful truth.

    Last night after I sent you my notes on Reclaim. I saw that something was not right, pieces were missing. I read and reread my own stuff and could see that I didn’t make an agreement with my husband to make his own lunch. Even if I did it would have been mockery because he doesn’t know how to cook and doesn’t want to learn how. But if I had some stuff in the fridge that could be used to make a sandwich he would.

    I see in myself that built up anger makes me hate him. Anger that he never paid any bills, never helped with chores, never budgets money, never helps with schooling kids, never this and never that. What I see though is that I’ve never shared that with him. He never made an agreement with me to do any of that or did I ever asked him to share any family responsibilities?

    Now I see that what I expect out of him has never been an agreement so the anger that I have built up is that I’ve been focusing on the end result.

    I will start catching it and “kicking to the curb” and owning my own actions.

    Thank you for knocking me conscious.

  2. I hear superiority, Amy. I hear that you picked this guy so you can feel justified in your anger.

    Who are you mad at?

    This doesn’t mean that you could not ask him for an agreement… good luck, by the way. Never going to happen… Why? Because you are not interested… and won’t be interested until you complete your story with the original “mad at” person.

    And then own that your soul correction is “revealing the dark side” and that the pull to be right while someone is wrong is, at this point, stronger than your desire for Life.

    You really thought it was going to be that easy?

  3. I guess this work will never be easy it seems like its getting harder.

    I will start looking who is the original “mad at” person is.

    Thank you.

  4. You know that the more I like you and the more you can take it, the tougher love I give you?

    And yes. Consider that the dynamic you are copying suggests that it is in the relationship between your mother and father…

  5. Ok. I see what you mean now. Yes definitely. My parents’ relationship used to be exactly how my relationship is now. I was brought up in the environment that dad is the problem….he doesn’t provide enough money, he doesn’t know how to do this or that and mother always angry at him.

    Even though examining it from my view I see that he did for us much more than any father I know did for his kids. That he had some great qualities like kindness, patience, hard working, enduring, gentle. He learned massage on his own and always massaged my mom and us kids and that’s where I get “my touch” from him. At the same time when I face him I cant talk to him because of how I was brought up. This is so interesting, this is where I need start.

    This brings tears for some reason.

    Thank you Sophie.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.