This question is long overdue.
It came up because of the conversation I was having with 10 of my best students.
How to be in the face of fear.
I bet you know that it takes courage to grow. Growth means growing into uncharted territory. For you, not uncharted in general, uncharted for you. Much like going to shop in the supermarket on the other side of town... it will have largely the same products, but arranged in different ways.
I suggested that courage is the tool you can bring to this fear-party to counter fear...
One of my best students asked for a time-out, which is a covert way to say: I want to quite... for a while, or maybe forever.
I muscle tested and she doesn't have courage, the capacity turned on. Most things you need to live a successful, calm, balanced, working life full of what life should be filled with, are DNA capacities.
Pretty thin blonde, Madame Secretary, the character has 20 capacities going for her. The actress, just as thin and pretty and blonde: seven.
Dignity, integrity, courage, empathy, compassion, the ability to set priorities, the ability to negotiate... these are all capacities. Obviously you don't need 20 capacities to be the State Secretary of the United States. Hillary Clinton with her seven capacities is proof to that.
Pretty, slim, blonde have nothing to do with it... yet most people work on those... hoping that those things that are missing for them to be desirable, loved, and happy.
The most striking capacity Madam Secretary has is courage. Courage in the face of imminent danger, to her and hers.
And we all need it. Because... without courage, all decisions are made by the ego, The ego that makes you say and do the darndest thing...
Without courage nothing compensates for ego's fearfulness, for ego's statuse quo guarding... whether the status quo is good or bad, ego doesn't care.
Without courage, working courage, daily courage, ego wins every time.
Like every capacity, it works like a dimmer... a sliding switch... allowing the capacity to work anywhere from zero to 100 percent. Even my courage is only working, only winning the argument 90% of the time. The 10 percent is cowardly.
The parson who asked for "time out" doesn't have the courage capacity "on" at all. No sliding scale there... just ego winning 100% of the time.
When I asked if she wants it... empathically, I got a "no" answer. I don't know what she would have said had I asked her in writing... probably the same.
Courage means uncharted territories. Without courage it's terrifying. With courage it is the thing to do.
Procrastination is the tip of the iceberg of courage deficiency.
Avoiding, niceness, argumentativeness, blabber mouth, posturing, all just the tip of the iceberg of courage deficiency.
Without courage, there cannot be growth.
Without courage, there cannot be peace.
Without courage, there cannot be happy... fulfilled... generous... loving.
They all lie on the other side of courage. Growth, peace, happy, etc.
Look around you, look in the mirror.
The more pretense, the more positive thinking, the more nice pictures, nice memes, nice friends, nice everything, the more you can see courage deficiency.
It is a disease.
I will put courage back on the capacities I activate for free on the weekend webinars.
The good thing for you cowardly people is that even if I manage to turn it on, you can turn it off any time.
I expect 1% to stay on.
My students and clients that are in growth mode have it already on. The guy who inherited his father's business just had it turned on this morning. We'll see if it stays on. If not, his business goes with it. Guaranteed.