Locked in? locked out? limited?

we feel locked out from most nice things in lifeIn Hungary, in some high schools, you can choose, at age 15-ish to pursue "real" or "humanities".

Real is sciences, reasoning, math, physics, geometry, chemistry heavy.

Humanities... lots of words, I think. I chose "real" for myself.

I was bad at everything that talks ABOUT stuff, and great, sometimes exceptional in the non-verbal subjects.

Architects don't talk either. Don't listen either. So, in that regard it was a good match, and yet, I wasn't happy.

I guess I wanted to think with words too. In every project I was chosen to write the written stuff... I was good with words.

Why am I sharing this? Because pursuing one thing limits us to the capacities that are needed to do that one thing.

Limited. One of the least favorite of words in the dictionary.

feel locked out... only chance to look inI don't want to be limited. I don't want to be locked out of anything... not even at my own choosing. I want it all...

That makes me obnoxious, I guess, but that's another thing. I don't mind being obnoxious... when I teach people what appreciation is, I teach them that appreciation isn't limited to the narrow range of things you like... in fact you can appreciate everything, even the 99% of reality that you don't like.

It all comes from my fierce refusal to be locked out.

My first memory of being locked out, not included, left behind was at age 3: my preemie sister died after 10 days of hanging in there... and I wasn't taken to the burial.

And then, my whole life could be told through this filter: the things I wasn't allowed, the things I was excluded from... that seemingly everyone else could do, could have, but me.

When I look at who I attract, who are the people who want to grow with me, I see myself in you. A moment of being locked out, not being accepted, not allowed to be part of.

locked-out-of-his-futureAm I accurate?

I read an article this morning. It had been open in my browser for about a week... but it had too many words... I needed to get ready to actually read more than a paragraph here, a paragraph there...

The young woman obviously went to "humanities" and is masterful at that. I took all I got to keep up, but it was worth it. I'd felt it would be, although I had no idea what.

I am going to link this article here, for those of you that like lots of words that lead someplace worth getting to. It talks about paradigm shift, important to us, because every capacity I activate is a paradigm shift, for you, where suddenly the world makes more sense, you experience more power, more freedom, more light.

It talks about personal reality and attention: we have all heard about personal reality, but the element, that what you put your attention on, what you notice, is somewhat enlightening to me, even thought I should have known... I don't think I have.

And it touches on something I have found hard to explain, even though when I first got it, it made the biggest difference in my life: the idea that everything changes, including people, maybe even from moment to moment.

The homework assignment that lead me to "get" the concept was this: "Go home and interact with the people in your life as if you didn't already knew them."

it may be worse to be locked inI had never before noticed that people didn't have a chance with me: I already knew them and wrote them off... In that exercise I consciously didn't know them, and they showed up completely different than how I knew them.

It was unsettling, ego didn't like it, but I did: I had some really nice people around me.

I am living that way, that is why I can hear you, see you, feel you without you being locked into a persona I created for you, or locked out of growing... by the persona I created for you...

Is this a capacity? Let me see... Yes, muscle test says yes. What would you call that capacity? Any ideas? Any suggestions? I bet you want it...

My first visual a clamp unclamp itself... second visual: removal of cataract and seeing. For a while, at least.

Please give me your suggestions as a comment, will you? Would you?

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

8 thoughts on “Locked in? locked out? limited?”

  1. With this capacitiy you are always open, to what is about to unfold in front of you without any preconceived opinions or knowing, nothing fixed always room, lots of space, allowing , no constraints, to seeing

    The fresh and free

  2. Maybe “open to seeing”

    While we’re on the subject of capacities, do you know if “being willing” is a capacity? I keep running into so many things I’m not willing to do, it seems like a “being willing” capacity would really open things up. Ironically, when I think of a “being willing” capacity, I don’t feel willing to accept it. What a catch-22 – needing the capacity in order to be able to get the capacity!

  3. being willing is not a capacity. Open to seeing isn’t either.

    My hunch is that The Sight would open up being willing, but ego can shut it the capacity, like it has for you… probably because you didn’t want to be willing.

  4. ok, I am going to say it here, because it is obvious that you won’t guess correctly. If Matsa can’t get it, then that’s it.

    The the capacity is ownership. Owning what I think, what I know about you. Then put it aside, so it’s not there.

    Without owning it, no action will matter. not seeing the big picture, not being willing, not open to seeing. You need to own your opinion as yours… or you are stuck with it.

    You cannot change your mind about anything that isn’t yours. You can’t be responsible for anything that isn’t yours.

    Ownership is another stumbling block capacity… like courage and humility. And without it most of life is a repetition of old stuff… ad nauseum.

    I am sure you are familiar with that one..

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