It takes stepping outside of the situation, looking at it from there, to identify what is going on.
You may have over committed... and so you are overwhelmed
You may have made promises without consulting the people you live with, and so your are out of integrity
You may be trying to prove that you are special... so you are in greed
Once you see exactly what the situation is, restoring peace, restoring calm, restoring effectiveness is a piece of cake.
Sometimes you can do it, sometimes someone outside of your drama can do it for you.
Either way... what causes most stress is that you are in the middle of it... and can't see where you are, from there.
One thing I like about the Emotional Guidance System of Esther Hicks is this:
Whenever you can locate yourself... you are found, and you are returned to power.
What do I mean?
Whenever I ask someone what is going on... their attention is on what they are not doing, what is wrong, what's wrong with them.
That is not a location where you can put both feet down... so you are wobbly at best, lost at worst.
Suddenly you are back in power, not the emotion... not the circumstances, you.
If you can say... oh, I am angry, or oh, I am in overwhelm, then you can now do what anyone would do when they find themselves having anger or having overwhelm.
More often than not, my entire coaching is to locate the person on a map... where they can locate themselves, find themselves, where they are returned to power.
Solving their issue is not my job. They now can do it themselves.
My favorite "thing" in The Science of Getting Rich is the sentence: Start where you are.
Every fiber of your being wants to get away from where you are, but there is no power in that.
The power comes from where you locate yourself, and apply the power then and there...
Just like you would not transplant a tree that is not doing well, isn't developing well where it's at... instead you'd make sure it gets strong and healthy, too big to stay where it's at, cramped... and then move it.
Most people complain that they don't know who they are... but no one complains that they don't know where they are at...
Once you learn how to locate yourself, identify what the situation you are in is, you may want to embark on finding out who you are... but not before.
Oh, one more thing: you can't locate anything in unreality... unreality is the space around reality... full of no, and missing, and not enough.
So make sure you locate yourself in reality... And that is going to be the biggest challenge... because it is counter-cultural.