Now, as good as the Unconditional Love Activator is, it is not able to do the work instead of you.
There is some reflections needed to see what is robbing you of your ability of being deserving of love…
Let’s first look at the environment: your parents, from time to time, made faces, that made you think that there is something wrong, but not just wrong, but something wrong with you.
It had probably nothing to do with you. But as a baby everything is about you.
Now, to boot, you NEVER asked an intelligent question: What is wrong with what I am doing? What I am wearing? What I just said?
NO, you bring it back to you, and have been, without ever considering that another’s reaction has nothing to do with you, with who you are.
It may be all about something totally unrelated to you
It may be your actions
It may be the clothes you wear
It may be what you said…
But you are not your actions, not how you look, and not even what you say…
Separating your Self from actions, looks, and speaking is totally missing. It doesn’t even occur that you could do it!
You see, you can get the capacity to separate, but unless you practice… you and your experience of life, of yourself won’t change.
I did that with one feeling… feeling dirty, and, maybe, unconsciously, still do it.
As a toddler I was found frozen in my blood… They peeled me off, washed me up, and sent me home to my mother. My mother said “you are a whore” which I didn’t understand. Her facial expression was the same as what she had when I played in mud… so it said to me: I am dirty.
I turned that into my identity. Dirty, disgusting, appalling… And definitely not deserving, not worthy of love.
What is deserving as a capacity? As a beingness?
Deserving is not entitled, it is a sense of self, that says that you are as deserving as the next person, deserving of respect, honoring, dignity, freedom, wealth, because they are your birthright. So it is not superiority, comparison, or an excuse to get more than the other… to blame… to demand… It’s more like an inner strength, that stops you from subjugating yourself, from bowing to others, from making yourself a serf, a slave, a subordinate.
It is at the core of dignity.
It has taken me a lot of times catching myself going into “being dirty”, stopping for a moment and separating the feeling from the being.
I can feel dirty and be deserving of love.
I can feel appalling and be deserving of love
I can feel that what I said was hurtful, and still be deserving of taking care of myself, eat the right things, and love myself.
If you are a parent, a teacher, a wife, a husband, a friend: please make sure you start distinguishing the labels you put on other people or what you hear they put on themselves… the label doesn’t belong to the person, it belongs to the action, looks, speaking…
The more you distinguish it for other people, the better you’ll be able to see.
Because until it is fully distinguished, the capacity cannot work fully.
PS: A long long time ago, almost 40 years ago, I had a boy friend. One day I bought a wig, and I showed it to him. He asked me to wear it. I could see that he liked me more with the wig that without the wig. It broke my heart. I asked myself what he loved, my hair or me? Was I beautiful, or was my hair beautiful?
People will treat you different when what you are wearing looks good… but it has nothing to do with you. I still look more beautiful in a wig… but it has nothing to do with me… If I worry about my looks, I have to forget about me, the beautiful person inside.