Why do I use harsh language, why do I provoke you all the time? Or how do you grow a self?

provocation18One of my jobs in causing transformation is to be an agent provocateur... to provoke people in my articles, on my webinars... keep on provoking.

Everything that upsets you drives up some way that you are off... off from the Tree of Life.

One recent occurrence was provoking Canadians about Canada.

Canadians are very sensitive about their country... just like a fat woman is sensitive about being called fat.

When you are offended... you can be sure that you identified with something outside of you... and don't have a self.

In order to do this work, you need a crystallized self... as Gurjieff said.

I have no idea what that means, but no self is definitely not that... lol.

The slightest wind upsets you... you have no core, you have no toughness... you'll never grow, until you grow a self.

How do you grow a self?

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No, you don't create it... those memes circulating on the internet lie.

So, how do you do it?

Like with everything that you want to distinguish, you play the Michelangelo method: you find everything that is not you, and you chisel it away.

What remains is more of you... you'll never quite get to you, nothing added... but every time you remove something that is not you... you get more you.

Some of the things that are not you are really painful... and some of them are really hard to give up.

Especially opinions, beliefs, ways of being, attitudes.

When you want a capacity, a spiritual DNA capacity activated, it sounds like I am adding something to you.

But more often than not, the capacity is 90% shedding useless, harmful stuff, and 10% adding something new.

You have been buying the activations like candy... and I am starting to see that you have no idea how to shed the useless... and how to replace it with the useful.

For example this very very common behavior: you are having a conversation, but you are only waiting to say what you want to say. Or if the person is your child... you won't let them talk at all...

Obviously this behavior is useless, and also it covers up something that is harmful.

It covers up layers upon layers of deception, inauthenticity, and misery.

You pretend that you know, you pretend that you are smart... and it both are a lie.

But that lie covers up that you feel worthless and you don't like it.

None of these layers is you. You are none of that.

When you shed, when you use the Michelangelo method, you are scared that you'll find out that you are no good, or that you are nothing: you are empty. That you are nothing.

And that feels scary, because in the horizontal world, in the horizontal dimension, the culture says you must be something.

But in the vertical world, you connect to all of it through that emptiness... and when you start to catch glimpses of it... that is very nice... It shows that you are close.

I am all empty. A vessel. And I can receive all the light that is coming my way, and I can be connected 24/7.

I did the work of the shedding, and chipping away. I am still doing it. It is, it seems, a never ending process.

What I am noticing is less and less things upset me, sway me, influence me. I have truly become a reed.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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