What you don't have is conscious practices.
Until you have practices you are not growing, and you are actually shrinking.
The experience of shrinking is what you experience when I check you: you are anxious, you are afraid, you are resisting, you are in pain.
You have no idea that it is caused by not growing. So you want healing, you want a remedy, you want a relief.
Spiritual practice that will make you grow? Hell no.
- An assignment is to get something done.
- A practice is to build pathways, skill, a new you. Doing it once, twice, thrice won't do it. You have to do it day in and day out
Michael Jordan became the best basket ball player because he appreciated practices. He practiced throwing baskets. He practiced everything. And he watched the videos of his games and looked for what's missing. That is a practice too: training his eyes to find what's missing. Not once, not twice, but every game, and for hours after the game.
A coach's job is to make sure you practice the right thing the right way.
They see something that you don't. But your reptilian brain takes pleasure it cheating, shortcuts, pretending.
So you do the assigned practice once, twice, but you don't do it as a practice. You do it as an assignment: something to get done with.
Doing scales in music is a practice. And you hate doing it: you want to do the interesting stuff... And you remain a beginner, mediocre, wannabe.
In fact, every area in life where you refuse to practice the right thing the right way, you are mediocre.
You are mediocre living a mediocre life. And then you come to me because you don't feel well.
But no matter what I do, the only thing that matters is what YOU do...and how you do what you do.
- You may be the type who never stays with anything long enough to take it to the end, not even once. Unless you change, that's who you will remain, doesn't matter how many courses you take!
- You may be the type who buys all my courses, but you don't do any of the work. Why? Because you already know... Know what? You don't know what you know, but you are sure that buying something will matter in the end.
- You may be the type who is into pleasing me. And you know that it will get you off the hook: you share something you did once well, and I'll be happy. Hell no... you just bought mediocrity with your actions.
- You may be the type who escapes into an excuse: busy, not very smart, misunderstood... and such. Your escape is your method to stay mediocre and miserable. Congratulations.
- You may be the type who will do it in secret, so no one knows you failed. No accountability, no witness, guaranteed failure. You can't even know if you are doing the right thing or the wrong thing... But also you won't have to know that you are stupid... or something like that.
- You may be the type who reads every one of my articles, maybe several times, and feels smart, knowledgeable. But no practice, no action, no change. The ego is fanned...
- You may be the type who is waiting to feel like it. You therefore read a lot, ask me a lot of questions, but the feeling like it never comes.
Unless you change, and willing to do the practices, all my work, and all your efforts will be wasted.
- Humility, the capacity, won't stay on, unless you'll approach everything with "I want to know what I don't know"
- Generosity, the capacity, won't stay on, unless you'll approach every conversation with: my light is already shining. Let me allow others' light to shine.
- Causing, the capacity, won't stay on, unless you bring it to every action you take, walking, eating, reading... consciously.
160 capacities. No capacity, no willingness to practice the right thing the right way: all stay out of your reach: forever.
It's like King Midas: starved to death, because everything he touched turned into gold. Food too.
It's like that with you: everything of value turns into turd... or a one time event at best.