When you become aware of your urges… a feeling that urges you to do something, mostly to relieve a tension, a pain, a fear, you’ll often find this fear there. The fear of being left out, being left behind.
One of the survival conditions for a human is to belong to a group… or they are dead.
So the need to belong to a group is a very old DNA-driven need.
I see people all the time whose entire existence is inside that unfulfilled need: people who look different, people who speak differently, people who feel different. Whose desire to belong was thwarted at some point, and got stuck.
When you were three and they didn’t let you visit your mother on the maternity ward… you were too young. But you felt excluded… and still do. You are 60. You are the victim or and the generator of that feeling.
Or when you had asthma as a little kid and your mother babied you. And you were not allowed to play rough with the other kids in the street.
Or when you were different… dyslexic, gay, slow, and you were told that you don’t belong… That you can NEVER belong to the winners… whatever.
Urges, DNA needs make you do self-destructive, self-damaging things.
Do things that when you watch other people do them, you shake your head. What are they thinking?!
The fear of being left out, the fear of being left behind, the fear of not fitting in has an age associated with it. It’s young. And your behavior to ‘fix it’ will be young too. Ineffective.
As you may know, I am working with a group of people to take them through the “Gate of Heaven” through the Detached capacity taught in the Detached Workshop.
As usual, unexpected snags abound. Whoever said it was going to be easy?!
The issue I am encountering is the ego doing its darned best to prevent the capacity from functioning. It is trying to prevent participants from stepping back, or staying back… staying out of the mind and looking from a different vantage point. Maybe I should be saying… step aside… and look from there instead of saying: step back?
When I observe the ego, it’s gritting its teeth with tenacity. I have a suspicion that the ego is a hireling of society, of the horizontal plane. I have a hunch that the passage will be harder than I thought, due to the crab bucket dynamic.
Everything that is between the two selves, the real Self and the imaginary social self, everything that is fake and pretentious is becoming active. And is pulling the participants down.
This article is about what you can do to help me and help yourself to become all you can become, to become a human being.
I used to have it in spades. I used to have no tolerance to a closed door, being inside when children played outside, I wanted to be with them, ‘me too’.
It looked that people were having fun, and I wanted in. But I didn’t have that much fun, and I got into a lot of trouble, with parents, with school, with my health.
The reason you are so afraid to be left out, because you are afraid to be alone. To meet yourself. To face yourself. To face the emptiness.
So you postpone it by joining in the fun.
One way you do it is you talk too much. To send email after email… don’t ignore me! But when you are in… you have nothing to say. You have, maybe, empty inside/empty outside syndrome.
But you desperately want to matter.
What you want is echo. What you want to feel is that you matter, that your life matters, that you are not alone. That someone cares about what you do. That what you do is important to someone.
For a human it is as important a need as water, air, you have to have it.
But you are looking at the wrong place to get it.
You are looking for it outside. Through the mind.
You are like the drunk who is looking for his car keys under the street light, but when asked where he dropped the keys, he says… over there… where it’s dark.
We are looking for proof that we are worthy, likable, deserve to live, but the world will not give it to us.
The world doesn’t care about you. But more than that: if I told you you are worthy, likable, deserve to live; how long would it be nourishing you? A second?
The next moment you would say: But you don’t know me. I am this and I am that, and I did this and I did that.
No one word is going to be strong enough for you to finally feel heard, witnessed, and worthy. Because feeling left out is not real… it’s a feeling.
You are really waiting for YOU to say that… but the small you, the worldly you is comparing you with others, and there is always someone who is prettier than you, smarter than you, more graceful than you.
The lower you is in cahoots with the world.
But the higher you is not like that. The higher you knows who you are, even though you are doing your darned best to cover it up. And it accepts you. Accepts you exactly the way you are and accepts you even though you are not better, not more, not different.
Your disconnect comes from all the stuff you and society piled up in between the two yous. Stuff. Worthless stuff. Opinion. But it’s there, and the small you doesn’t feel the light and warmth and acceptance of the higher you.
Powerful energies are needed to remove that stuff, piece by piece, thread by thread, so you can feel, finally, at home with yourself.
When you remove all the stuff that is between you and you, you’ll stop chasing others, stop chasing acceptance. Stop chasing respect. Stop dying to be heard, being well-thought-of. Seriously.
When you remove all the stuff that is between you and you, you become your own person, and that’s that.
My Unconditional Love Activator is a powerful energy remedy. 40 energies bundled, to handle any and all stuff that stands and separates you from you. Separates you from being loved, you from being accepted, from feeling that your life is witnessed. That you matter.
Are the effects permanent? Even after so many years, when I stop taking the remedy, I start feeling the separation.
Is there a permanent solution?
No. The world will always be worldly, and without strengthening your inner connection, the world will win, hands down, every time.
And by the world I don’t mean existence. I mean society.
Society is a political construct, and political constructs only care about controlling, overpowering, herding sheep.
So, no. Unless you take the remedy regularly, you’ll fall back to the world’s way: competition, pretense, longing, feeling left out.
It’s winter, and I don’t ship liquid remedies in the winter: they freeze.
But you can make your own remedy with the Unconditional Love Activator audio. It takes 15 minutes to make enough for a year. Then just put a splash in all the liquids you drink and you are set.
Or alternatively freshly infuse your beverages every day.
I freshly infuse my water every day.
Do it the way it works for you. Just do it.
Without it you have no control over your urges. You’ll continue living with the lack, the comparing, the gap.
Read more about the Unconditional Love activator, or if you are ready, you can buy it right away
|feeling left out by family||When you feel like you are the black sheep of the family, when everyone seem to love everyone else, but you… that is feeling left out by family|
|feeling left out at work||When it feels like everyone is doing well, except you. When people get raises and promotions, and praise… except you. Feeling left out at work.|
|feeling left out by friends||When the person who thought was your friend, but when they meet someone, immediately they only talk to them… you feel left out, don’t you?|