What is deserving? Deserving is a comparison. Comparing value to value, a person, a performance, a thing. It doesn't come with existence. In existence you need to earn what you get. Deserve it.
Too many teachers focus on the doing, the method.
Some designate a few minutes, maybe even a few chapters to the mindset, but all in all, the pitiful results of most course is proof, that the problem is not in the doing.
One of the problems is being deserving.
There are two ways to look at deserving:
- the capacity to be someone who accepts what is coming to them, instead of running away, blaming themselves, or thinking poorly of themselves.
If you look, you can see this "how did this come to me" look in some people's eyes who got something lavish showered on them, happiness, fame, money. The the real eye, from time to time, showing the bepuzzlement... how did it happen?
I do all my undeserving bit around housekeeping. I haven't been able to make a dent there. Not in any lasting way.
When I look at the capacity, it's there, it's open. And yet, this corner of my life says: no, you aren't deserving.
I will chip away at it, until it can break up, and let me have what's coming to me.
- The second way to look at deserving is by looking at your product, your performance, your offering, your companionship, your conversation, etc. All that is your product.
If you have insufficient knowledge, spotty performance, and an offering that doesn't scream: Excellence! your place in the marketplace, job, relationships is not deserving.
If your performance in my calls, in our correspondence, in my courses is any indication, you don't even know what I am talking about.
You have never looked as excellence as your goal. Maybe you looked at perfection, but perfection is limited by your original idea, and taking something inferior to perfection will be still inferior.
Perfection is a goal. Excellence, on the other hand, is a direction.
Excellence is like the horizon, beckoning. You and your idea expand as you are pursuing excellence. The original idea expands, morphs, 1 losing its inferior beginnings.
And with the idea you expand too. And the value you bring to the marketplace.
Example: I start each idea with a small, inferior idea. Honest!
And then I allow my thriving for excellence, to expand upon the idea, take it to places I wouldn't think to take it. I give up driving the idea to excellence: I allow excellence to pull it. It is a co-creation: I use the keyboard, excellence is telling me what to write.
This happens every time, except maybe once a month, when I have an agenda. When dollar signs replace excellence. When I am writing the article. Then the article is short, and you wonder who wrote it.
My hunch is that you "write" your life like I write that one article, driven by your agenda. No expansion, only force, and doing the thing that you do.
If you ever want your product to be deserving, your work, your companionship, your cooking, your exercising, your learning, your participation in my courses, your comments,... anything you do is part of your product. Sloppy in one area? Sloppy product. Self-serving, whiny, begging in one area? Begging product.
Let's look at the exercises from the current course: the capacity to step back.
If you do everything from the mind, then you are clueless. Blind. Not present. Not aware. Then everything comes from the past, or comes from the future, but not from the herenow... and you are missing the mark.
When I ask you to step back, I ask you to step into the herenow.
If the only reason you step back because you are hooked by the thoughts or the emotions of the past and the future, you are not really stepping into existence ever... because the action grows out of reaction, out of not wanting the unpleasant.
The next moment grows out of that reactive, fighting moment... and guess what, you'll bring the fighting into it.
Before you can successfully step back INTO the herenow, where you can watch the emotions and the thoughts as a sports game, from the outside, you have to allow the emotions to be, and you have to allow the thoughts to be.
If you named the color in the color exercise, then allow that thought to be, and step back, and do the exercise, from the herenow.
But you are condemning your self for naming the color. You are fighting it. It shouldn't be.
You never get to the next step, where the name will be remote... and you go on the hunt to find your color, not the word.
So, it seems that detached will be impossible, unless you can have allowed...
...so this coming weekend I'll activate the capacity to allow what you don't like...
It wasn't what I planned, but it is what wants to be done.
Do you see my methodology? I am called by the horizon. I am called by excellence. My product is deserving... because it is not guided by my minimum effort/maximum benefits agenda, but by the beyond.
Excellence, any horizon, is the beyond.
PS: After years of looking inward for wisdom, I finally started to look at other people as well. Tai Lopez is another person... lol... and this whole vantage point of deserving, of deserving and earning what you want came from his 67-steps program, the first session. I see that I have a lot to do to be deserving of what I want... starting with my housekeeping. Emptied the dishwasher, and now it's running in the background... I think I am also going to do a load of laundry today... and break up some boxes for recycling.
PPS: I'll try on this new way of being
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
It looks impossible from where I am looking. Like a rock...
- morph = change smoothly from one image to another by small gradual steps using computer animation techniques. or undergo or cause to undergo a gradual process of transformation.
example: "the cute moppet has morphed into the moody moll of the indie world"