I talked about negative emotions as early warning signals.
But negative emotions have another function: they are placeholders, reminders of unfinished business.
We go through life, and sustain injuries to our bodies, our self-esteem, our pride.
All or us. And then we attempt to continue life, but the wounds are there, festering.
I watched Charlie Chaplin accepting his life achievement Oscar in 1972? 1
His feelings as he is standing there during the 10 minute standing ovation, belies the grief, anger, disappointment, feeling slighted, thrown out, devastated 20 years earlier, when the United States unceremoniously threw him out…
I can relate… lol.
It was a healing for him… he felt the same negative feelings, now released through the love of the audience… He could forgave and be forgiven.
Your festering wounds give a sign of life… and each time you have an opportunity to revisit and heal.
I have been sobbing a lot lately. The 67 steps stirred up a lot of old wounds, a lot of old pain. I sob for a minute or two, and then it’s done. Sometimes it needs more attention, but not often.
I am altogether happier for all that crying. lol.
I see something I didn’t think of, or didn’t see at the time: you need to become someone who can do something with the opportunity. If you go to a gym and you have an opportunity to pick up a 400 lbs weight… you can’t even move it.
An email that just landed in my inbox says: for advanced marketers only… And as much as I’d like to have the opportunity that is inside: I am barely a marketer, I am so not advanced… it is not for me. I am not ready, and I don’t even think I want to be ready. Not in this lifetime. I am busy doing what I am doing, and it more than compensates for the too little money and the too little recognition…
You can have everything you want, just not at the same time. Some things you want are mutually exclusive…
Having wounds is a normal part of growing up, a normal part of living.
Our expectations are not fulfilled. Our hopes and aspirations squashed. Our plans crumble. Our relationships deteriorate. People deceive you…
Normal. Cannot be avoided. It is part of life.
But those wounds never healed. It is politically not correct to even grieve the death of a child, or news from a doctor that you are probably incurable.
Society wants you to go along to get along… and you do… at your own expense.
You need to allow yourself to grieve, lick your wounds, cry, scream to some god, if you have a chance.
It’s said that mental health requires that you have alone time, where you can do the work you don’t want to do in public.
Some of us are more private than others.
Doing the 67 steps publicly is difficult: you need to worry about looking good. That is why I give you an option to make it really private… just you and me.
The more freedom you feel to tell the truth the more cleansing the work is.
After all the 67 steps is 30% education and 70% unloading… that is why it is so liberating, so healthy, so good for you.
My level of happiness went from a 2 to an 8 (on the scale of 1-10) and I am sure you are grateful for that: the articles I write are happier too… 🙂