All people have two inside attachments:
- your dominant belief’s therefore: a behavior or attitude that, like an attachment, ties you to the dominant belief.
- And your anchor to doom. Your doom is the worst thing you fear.
The anchor keeps you swimming around that doom, like you are circling the drain.
Because these are energetic attachment in their nature, I can pull them, I can sever the connection. It is relatively easy to pull… it is not that easy to know what the behaviors are. Pulling is not enough: you need to consciously stop the behavior or attitude, which you can’t do unless you know what it is. And then you need to allow the doom to be… so you can swim away from it.
Without unlearning, without getting rid of the anchors, no amount of knowledge will make any difference.
Unlearning and undeciding is the hardest phase..
Nearly everything you learned from your parents, from your teachers, from television, movies, computer games, and your peers is the ideology of losing and losers.
Even if your parents were winners, chances are they had no idea what made them winners. They wanted you to fit in with the world, and they taught you attitudes that will allow you to fit in, to survive, but not to win.
My dad was an amazing man, a true winner, raised himself from being an orphan, poverty, being thrown about, to being among the 100 most important men of a whole country.
But when it came to teaching us, his teaching, even teaching by example, was bad, bad, bad.
This is a rare capacity…
You resist everything. Everything. Advice. The weather. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Illness. Closeness. Learning… So you are stuck.
You refuse to accept anything. You refuse to allow anything.
You insist on doing things your way.
And in spite of being banged up, or being poor, sick, and miserable… you continue insisting on your way.
So you see you need a lot of unlearning. Unlearning being stupid.
So, the first phase is unlearning… giving up resistance… giving up having to do it your way.
Some of you will be done with that in 67 days, some of you, given your track record, will drag it out to years. And some of you will never give up.
To each his own.
Every person is entitled to his or her personal preferences and tastes.
Of course, Leo Tolstoy and his Anna Karenina Principle comes to mind:
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
But the principle is true for individual happiness, individual success, prosperity, etc. The New Testament calls this the ‘strait and narrow’.
The behaviors and certainties, preferences, attitudes you now have will be the foundation, your unique foundation for the unhappiness, poverty and sickness Leo Tolstoy is talking about.
So the first leg of the journey to raise your vibration is unlearning the certainties, preferences, attitudes, that got you where you are.
Unlearning is the hardest phase.
Now, let me tell you something about unlearning, that is very important:
Nature abhors vacuum, so you can only unlearn something if you replace it with something more desirable, even if that something is not the best.
The story that makes this clear is this:
So on a Sunday morning you take every piece out to the curb for pick up. You even take out your TV, for good measure.
When lunch time rolls around, you find you don’t even have a chair to sit on, so you go to the curb, and bring back a chair. But you don’t like to eat on your lap, so you go out and bring back the dining table.
In the evening, suddenly you have nothing to do. So you go out and bring back the TV and the sofa…
The same thing happens with unlearning.
Unless you replace the behavior, certainties, preferences and attitudes with something new, you’ll always fall back to the old ones you want to kick to the curb.
In The 67 step coaching it is up to me to invent, with you, a new behavior, a new certainty, a new attitude.
It’s not easy for me, but I like hard. I love hard.
For example, one of my students has been cut off from reality… from life… because he is so ‘high minded’.
I recommended that he needs to become one with life. The exercise I have him do is to become one with the air (naked!) or the water in the shower, or become the dance, the music, the bed, the chair.
Each has a bite size chunk of how to become one with life.
Most people need this, by the way.
Some people need to dance. Some people need to walk as if they were on a tightrope.
Simple exercises, but rich in replacement behavior, certainties, preferences and attitudes.
So you won’t have to drag back the darn couch… lol.
I am a lot more creative on live calls, so my best “advice” comes in webinars…