Does this mean I don't learn new things? No.
I am OK with slow. I am OK with the pain. I am OK to move through dark fog to come out on the other end with some clarity.
I always think it is going to be easy, but it never is.
Teachers don't like me, because they think I am stupid... or that I don't belong.
But that is their problem.
I am a turtle... and their favorites are hares...
Because you need to know that appearances are just that: appearances. Lies are lies... delusions are delusions...
Learning something new, especially if it involves doing, is hard. For everyone...
But if you work through the pain, if you have room for the pain, the feeling stupid, the feeling being left behind, then you'll be OK.
The other side is sunny.
I had my share of those: on average six projects every semester, for nine semester, and a diploma work for the tenth in architecture school.
I also competed, participated in architecture competitions. Studied for more than 100 exams, and it was never easy.
In spite of what one would expect, it got harder with every new challenge. Why? Have no idea.
I never lived a life of ease or easy street.
As a magazine publisher I had deadlines, I had hundreds of display ads to design and make, hundreds of issues of a magazine...
I don't like torture, but I am attracted by it.
Because there is this "other side", the side of "I did that".
I also hate teaching. I hate preparing for webinars, creating courses, writing sales letters. But I would not trade my life for anything... for the "other side" is so satisfying.
When you give in your hate or dislike, you rip yourself off.
Easy is empty. Easy is boring. Easy is meaningless.
It's not easy. Even just one of those would send you screaming to the hills... Just think about all three!
We, humans, evolved to love hard.
How do I know? Because when it is easy, we make it hard for ourselves. We fight, we seek out challenges... whether they are healthy challenges or not, depends on what your life is about.
So stop whining and own up to the fact that you don't feel satisfied unless you accomplish, and your life is empty, and you have so much time to ponder insignificant things because your life is not hard enough... because you are not challenging yourself.
I sometimes read books to help a student find an angle of challenge that he can enjoy... like the book I am reading: Teach Like Pirate.
So far it's an amazing book... just the book one needs to read to write a thesis... about anything.
Or me, to prepare a webinar workshop that sweeps you away.
I am prepared to hate it... lol... what else is new?
But, you know, I have never done anything to sweep people away... that impossible task makes it suddenly more challenging and less drudgery.
I may have brought some transformation to my life... hah... that's amazing.