One of the hallmarks of a person who lives their lives rightly, is being an Expanding Human Being who is joyous in their daily existence, fulfilled, living a life worth living. Being an Expanding Human Being is in harmony with the The Original Design for humanity ...
Of all the elements of growth this one is the most frightening to most.
Most other changes are between you and yourself, and no one needs to know about it.
You can sit and meditate, become the observer, go deep, connect to whatever you connect to, breathe however you breathe... it is a private affair.
Unless you are doing it on one of my webinars, your level of anxiety is low: you don't even know if you are doing it right or not.
Of course, when you are on the webinars and I check what you are doing, your anxiety shoots over the roof, you become incoherent, you lose your rhythm, your self-confidence, you are afraid that I'll point out that you are doing it all wrong, and you are right, you probably are... in that moment of anguish: definitely.
Now, enter "expanding human being" and you have added a whole slew of people that can see what you are made of. They can see if who you have been pretending to be, having it all together, cheerful, cool, smart, hip, whatever, has been just a thin veneer covering up that you are neither: you are just a frightened little girl or boy hoping to look good and make it in life.
We could safely say that you are exactly like every other person: wanting to look good and making it.
Just the idea of doing what expanding human beings do, that rattles your innards.
The bigger the pretense, the bigger the anguish. The bigger the pretense, the less likely that you will be willing to rock the boat. Expanding? No need...
Why fix what's working, you think. But you are lying.
Your life isn't working, your cheerful attitude is a mask, and you know it.
But the alternative is frightening. You may find out and expose what you already know: that you don't have it all together. That you may not be as smart, as confident, as good at what you do as you pretend.
And no matter where you are at the "expert" continuum, you have to face the exact same thing.
Whether it's about putting a few intelligent sentences together, or it's about publishing your first book, hiring your first virtual assistant, organizing a seminar, or competing in a singing competition, what you are afraid of is that you will need to act on what others may find out.
You are afraid that you will need to do something to become as good as you pretend to be.
Now, let me share with you why I am writing this article, right now.
I have been going through hard times. I am running out of options what I can do to have people come to my site, read my articles, do my courses, participate in my webinars.
Up till May I had no problem. Since May: it is like I don't exist.
This morning I watched a short video that taught a method of bringing more traffic to a website, by answering people's questions.
You hire a virtual assistant. She finds questions on the internet for you to answer, you answer them in an audio, she transcribes them and posts them in your name. Takes a few minutes a day, and you create a lot of contacts, a lot of goodwill... sounds wonderful.
But, here is the kicker. I am still a human being, and anguish, anxiety, fear set in. What if I don't know as much as I think I know? What if I can't answer those questions? What if people will find out that I am blah blah blah...
When you catch yourself thinking like that, you have two options: back away, and continue the slow painful process of being a walking dead. Or take a deep breath and say: Well, it is all for the better. If I find out I don't know something: I'll have a chance to get better, won't I?
You'll feel scared and alive.
Medical people say that scared and excited have the exact same physiological symptoms: heart palpitation, elevated temperature, dry mouth, trembling, sweaty palms.
I'd rather call this state excited, if this is true.
I am starting the process of hiring a virtual assistant today. I can't wait to find out where I am lacking. Where I have an opportunity to grow.
It's time to return to being an expanding human being...