Want Change In Your Life? All Change Starts With Knowing Where You Are... What's the truth about you?
The best doctors are the ones that diagnose correctly. When you hear the diagnosis and it resonates with you, your trust in the doctor doubles, after all correct diagnosis is 50% of the cure.
This is true in medicine, this is true in coaching, this is true in business.
Some jokes come to mind:
Michael is having a problem with his car. He drives to his mechanic. The mechanic looks it over and says: five hundred bucks. When will it be ready, asks Michael. In 15 minutes, answers the mechanic. five hundred dollars for 15 minutes? exclaims Michael. Oh, if you look at it that way, it will be ready next week.
or another one:
A new piece of machinery at the manufacturing plant is misbehaving and they call the experts. The experts dispatch one of their mechanics. The fee for the repair is $10,000.
The mechanic arrives, observes the malfunctioning machinery, asks for a hammer, hits something, and declares. OK, it's done.
The plant manager complains. Ten thousand dollars for a hit with the hammer? Isn't that too much?
The hit is $1. But to know where to hit is $9,999.
I have been looking at all kinds of "gurus", healers, coaches the past few months. One thing can be said about them all: they do the same thing no matter what's up with you. They don't "diagnose" or when they do, the diagnosis is always inside what they purport they can fix. With whatever snake oil they have.
In my correspondence with students I see that students, when they are given a chance, can ask smart questions. The smartest question came from Diana: she asked: I have a problem with my husband. Can you fix that?
Why is that a great question? Because if I am honest, I will tell her I can't fix her problem. I can't fix any problem.
Problems are coming from the mind: in existence there are no problems.
And given that her problem comes from her mind, the question is
Am I able to change her mind enough so what she has doesn't occur as a problem, so she can be happy with what she has, or leave it and be happy without, somewhere else.
And this is the real question: If everything you experience has something to do with you, wouldn't it be a good idea to find out what's the truth about you?
Finding out what's the truth about you will give us the diagnosis that you have been missing. It will provide us with the clue about the state of your relationships, about your health, about your money, about your internal state, about your whole life. With that diagnosis the prognosis for change will be valid, and mostly positive.
Here are some of the issues that you may be facing:
You are treading water, not being able to get from point A to point B? You make one step forward only to make two steps back.
Your money, your health, your relationships are strained, and your life isn't going anywhere.
You are afraid to start something new, take risks, or maybe you take too many risks, you are spreading yourself too thin. But either way the results of your activities are disappointing.
You may be a perpetual seeker, seeker of peace of mind, well being, wealth, relationships, but you never seem to find, and feel at home with what is coming your way.
What is it about you that doesn't allow you to win in life? To feel loved, appreciated, and valued?
Why is it that one moment you feel you are worth a lot of money, the other moment you feel worthless? Why is it that when push comes to shove, you don't always even earn your employer the money they pay you? or if you have clients: you undercharge them? or they ask for a refund: and you know you deserved that?
What is it about you that keeps you the same in spite of all the thoughts about changing? What is it about you that hinders your every desire, your every aspiration?
The "IT" about you that gets re-enforced by your spouse, your parents, your friends... the "IT", the ordinary, the small you?
And why is it that you can't change, won't change, even though it would serve you? Even if, maybe, you even want to?
No real answers. No idea...
Because it is not "natural" to be so hindered, so mired, so blocked, so stuck for a human being, and yet, you and ever other human experience the same thing, always, or at least some of the time.
What is it that wants to keep you the same? What is it that when you make a promise to change, or make a New Year's resolution, instantly takes over and starts to pressure you, nag you, make you miserable, until you give up what you wanted to change, and resign to being the same. And for a couple of hours, maybe even days, you feel relieved... only to return to your familiar misery, the same thing over and over again, a life going nowhere, just marking time. Pretending that it's ok, it's fine.
You wonder what's wrong with you, what's wrong with life. You are looking, you are looking, but no real answers come to you... even though there IS an answer.
Your life is the way it is by design.
YOUR design, to be perfectly clear. This design wasn't forced on you, in fact you created it. And if anyone tries to take it away from you, you protest, you leave, you call them names.
You say: "I am this way, and no one can take it away from me!"
But what is it in you that becomes this "never wanting to change" design, much like the Russian Doll toy, always returning to its stable station... no matter how hard you try to dislodge it.
You see, if you saw the design principles by which your life is now so predictable, you could be clearer about what you could do about altering the design, so your life can finally move to a "rail" that takes you to happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, instead....
You would be clearer about
1. what is it that you hold self-evident, that you don't even examine, don't even try to change, because it is the TRUTH about you.
2. what it is that you do that perpetuates that ugly TRUTH about you
3. what are the seemingly insignificant ways you re-enforce your world view, so there is no chance for you to change it to a healthier world view and self-image
Let me give you an example:
As a webmaster I get to see thousands of passwords, user names, and email addresses. Those innocent little words? Yes. What your mind chooses for you there, sits right at the core of what's keeping you stuck.
Sometimes it is poor self-image
Sometimes it is an attitude that shows your relationship to others and the world
Sometimes it shows that your life is about you and only about you
And mostly it shows a combination of the above
Just one of those elements will keep you wretched for the rest of your life. Two or more: you are the wretched of the wretched.
Why: because those elements that you use day in and day out, perpetuate your view of yourself and your image of you in the world.
They keep you in a tight little box where there isn't enough room to breathe, let alone grow.
So there you have it.
Want to learn more about yourself?
In a chock full of nuts webinar I'll show you other ways you can get to what's wrong with you.
Register in this webinar that will allow you to look under the hood, look behind the curtain, to look at the levers and dials that make you behave, think, the way you are.
All change starts with understanding
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