I don’t know if you can recognize this situation, but my hunch is: you should.
Your attention is divided. Your intentions are divided. And NOTHING gets done.
It should be a daily concern… if it is not, you are probably in a rut.
What is a rut? A trench… you can either go forward or you can go backwards… Or stand still, hoping that it will give you a sense of being alive.
Whenever you add a new task, you have to go through this state: if you don’t, then you didn’t mean to add the task.
What is this about?
OK, let me use my own example:
A week or so ago I decided to expand my circle of influence, and add audio to my free offerings, in addition to my articles.
One could say, if one is myopic and looks at my life with a narrow cone of vision: big mistake.
I have been listless, hesitant, in a limbo. No articles, no podcasts. I hide in reading novels.
One, my articles, is all self-expression, all “allowing the site to hold the dirt” so I can dig for gold. Very useful, and I am good at it.
The other, podcasts, seem to gear towards being liked… or being listened to… and my self-expression is now stifled, and I am not allowed to dig for gold.
Of course, now that I have managed to “label it”… distinguish what is causing the paralysis, maybe I can gain the upper hand, maybe I can bring integration to it.
It seems that if I can look at what I am really up to, and look at the expressions as tools, then I can choose to be true to myself, and say: eff them if they don’t like it. Popularity won’t make me feel good, won’t make me enjoy my life, because it comes from the outside, and I don’t really get nurtured by anything from the outside.
I like the “eff them” part… lol. It has worked for me, and I suspect that it always will.
After all, Self means separation. After all being an individual really creates a world, a personal world of them and me. That is what being an individual means. That at some point you can say: this is me, this is what is important to me, and I am pursuing it, even if others don’t like it.
And that is another thing all of my students have to go through. Being able to say: eff it, or eff them.
Cutting the cords that connects your sense of self with what others think.
It is not as hard as it sounds. You can still please others, if it works for you, but now you can choose to do it, instead of being a slave to it.
It feels like boldness on this side of it… On the other side of it… let me step to the other side now… it feels like freedom. It feels natural. It makes all those concerns of being liked to the background.
Which means that I cannot follow the advice of the marketers… because it is wrong for me. It is out of integrity… it is like doing some prostitution to make ends meet. For me.
Nothing compares to the simplicity and the peace of mind of being fully in integrity… Finally.
Lucky to me, there are enough people who say: I want to hear what you have to say, I want to buy what you have to offer, for me to make a very modest living, but a living nevertheless.
So, for me to be able to “sit on a chair” instead of the floor (read the first paragraph if this doesn’t make sense) I need to be able to say: articles and podcasts, and courses, and videos all serve one and only one purpose: to forward my own goals, and to help me dig for gold.
If this “digging for gold” picture doesn’t click, here is how it works:
You know there is gold in the ground. You have a shovel, but as you dig, you need to dispose of the dirt. If you do it right… it’s a lot of work. If you do it wrong, you will keep mixing the “virgin” soil with the dirt you had already examined for gold nuggets.
This is when a partner comes handy: you dig and they dispose of the dirt.
In a conversation, a partner who doesn’t want to fix you, who doesn’t want to dominate the conversation, can assume the role of holding the dirt.
I call that “echo”. They neither condone, nor resist what you are saying, so whatever you said (dirt) won’t fall back into the hole in the ground. So you always have fresh dirt to dig… and eventually you find gold.
And that is my goal: to find as much gold as I can in this lifetime, so more gold is revealed than hidden.
If you look at the holographic universe, where some of what is is revealed, and most of what is is hidden, concealed, folded in… my work is to reveal, unconceal, unhide, fold out the hidden, so what we can use with the limited perspective of our human mind, can be closer, inch by inch, to how it is.
Simple and rewarding.
And I am good at it.
So, let me summarize what there is to do if you find yourself not being able to serve two lords: your health-your life, or your life-your growth, your growth-your family
Steps you can take:
- find what you are about. What is important to you. Find that in both areas…
- Organize both areas to serve what is important to you.
Why? Because you may have to move out of your life if you can’t see that you can put, as a backbone, what is important to you in your current life.
It takes work, and it takes tact and finesse, but it’s possible.
Because starting with a blank slate is scarier than anything.
So what is important to you? Start with that.
If you want to share, I may offer to help you with it. Try me… If I can see that it’s potentially rewarding to me, I’ll be eager to.
PS: By the way, I did add a podcast today. www.mavensophie.com