Are you a Seeker? Restless, anxious, never quite there?

siddhartha_1004There is a deep human need to make our lives controllable. To be in control. To be certain. To be safe.

And there is this deep human need to see more, be more, feel more, have more, experience more.

They point to opposing directions, and they tend to jerk you back and forth.

It's an oscillating structure.

Like every oscillating structure, the tension between the two extremes cannot be resolved, there is no ess... the battle will continue as long as... let me address that later.

siddhartha-teaching-type_page_113_image_0001Let's take the example of seeker. Seeker of truth, seeker of bliss, seeker or who knows what.

The seeker could be called the archetype of this oscillating structure. The rush, the pressure to search, to know, to test, to experience is strong.

The purpose is to know.

But there is no tension to find.

seekersThere are two types of people, seekers and finders.

Seekers are tense, finders are calm.

You can't tell by their looks: it happens on the inside... I can feel it.

 

 

time-has-been-changing-youAnd then there are the people who are doubters, in spite of the fact that they found something that seems to be working, somewhat.

self-doubtMany of the gurus are doubters. The nagging doubt that what they found is not what they sell it as... that they are impostors. That they are not allowed to seek any more, because it would bring the shadow of the doubt to their followers... so they are stuck. Can't seek, can't find... Trapped.

A seeker doesn't stop with one thing... they keep on seeking. You can't go deep when you are a seeker... the urge to seek doesn't allow that.

So you do this, a little bit, and then you move on to the next... a little bit.

The book, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, is about seekers and it is about the rare finders. (In the subscribers area)

And it is about the difference between information and knowledge, or how Siddhartha says it, difference between knowledge and wisdom.

seeker-of-knowledgeWisdom is not words. Wisdom is a beingness phenomenon... it's more like a how, than a what.

Truth repeated is a lie... because words don't exist on the same plane where the truth exists.

What is a seeker?

A seeker is really someone who says: there is something wrong here, it needs to be fixed.

A finder says: there is something missing from the whole truth here... let me go deeper.

The seeker goes outside to find something... leaves to be somewhere else
The finder remains. Without words, the finder says: this is it... I am at the right place... and there may be more to this place than what I have discovered so far.

versatile-eggsI am a finder. I am at the same place. And I find new things, new aspects, new dimensions to see every day. But my feet haven't moved...

I am at peace. I am secure. And I am expanding.

Like a plant, you cannot uproot yourself for new information, for newness... it kills the plant.

A plant, smarter than you, sends roots or shooters to get new, more, different... get what it needs. And it grows to the sky.

But Sophie, does this mean I have to be stuck in an unworkable marriage? An unworkable job?

No. Sometimes the environment is not conducive to growth, and you have to move to a new environment to grow.

I moved countries. I never moved towards... I moved away.

The towards was always within... I took my towards with me.

I am dealing with vertigo... my body doesn't know which way it's straight up...

When I stand up, I first need to plant my feet, be sure they are planted, and then I can get up without fear of falling...

Most people jump without ever planting their feet. From unsure to unsure...

That is a seeker... The finder has a core... and a center... and a certainty a whole world can be built upon.

Interestingly, it is my atlas bone that is misbehaving... a loose bone that is not attached to anything, and can be jerked out of center. Left to its "guidance" I would be falling all over the place.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

3 thoughts on “Are you a Seeker? Restless, anxious, never quite there?”

  1. ok, interesting. the senior exercise class I go to every Tuesday is to prevent seniors falling. I haven’t… knock on wood, fallen in the past 23 years… last time I slipped on ice. But the classes are good, and they strengthen the muscles that keep you from falling… maybe you can try that too.

    Unless it is dizziness that bothers you most… of course. I take it as it comes, I am OK with it.

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