If you found out that all the wrong turns, mistakes you made in your life… probably thousands, you made them because you didn’t see what there was to see.
A number of years ago, one leader in Landmark Education said: Most people either don’t sign up or quit as soon as they see it.
See what? You ask…
See that the solution to the issues of their lives, the decisions that would have taken them to success were there, but they didn’t see them.
I didn’t see them, and you didn’t see them.
Moreover… no matter how many times I notice that I didn’t see something, the fact doesn’t change: I don’t see what is there… I see something else.
I have been experimenting with this for more than a year now. It alternately infuriates me, or delights me.
I am noticing that everything I need is there to see…
But I see what I see. Until I look again…
There is a peanuts cartoon, where Lucy says to Charlie Brown on the baseball field: “I am sorry I missed that easy fly ball, Captain. I suddenly remembered all the ones I had missed earlier, and the past got into my eyes.”
The good news is: if I wait long enough, if I have the strength of “faith”, I look again. And if needed, look again. The overwhelming experience I have is that what I need is there.
Now, how does this apply to you?
The part about not seeing, and seeing the past… 100%.
However bad you say your life is compared to what it could be, you insist to hear what confirms what you already know… and not what would make your life better.
You say you want change… but you don’t. Not really. You want to be right, more than you want change.
Until you are willing to be wrong, you are stuck.
I just opened an email, and it is more than apropos what it says:
It’s like billionaire, Warren Buffett said, “Opportunities come infrequently. When it rains gold, put out the bucket, not the thimble.”
Take advantage of opportunities while it lasts.
Here is the opportunity:
Humanity, including its scientists, and maybe even its sages, have had a basic misunderstanding of how a human works.
Some had some hunches, then they lost them… Like Osho. In some of his books he is closer to how it is than in others.
But unless you have clarity, your actions to fix what isn’t working are misdirected.
I don’t quite remember exactly, but a few centuries ago they confused the brain and the heart, and all treatments therefore were killing people…
It is not very relevant for this conversation how exactly their confusion worked, suffice to understand that getting clarity without being able to correctly interpret what you see and what you feel, leads to ineffective and inaccurate actions.
Being an empath is not enough. Feeling without knowing exactly what you feel and what it means is as bad as seeing the same.
It just so happens that my personality and my past training uniquely qualifies me to have some better interpretations of what I feel… But the proof is in the pudding.
If it works, and it works fast and for everyone, then the interpretation was accurate.
If it doesn’t work, then there is more work to do.
I have no idea how I saw what it did… But I saw it, and I see it still.
It is interesting to read when a scientist comes to the same conclusion and devises experiments to prove.
The book, terribly unreadable, by the way, “Why we do what we do” by Ed Deci comes closest.
The whole book is about liberating the intrinsic desire of the Self to be productive, to do the right thing, to be curious.
Ed Deci and his colleagues “prove” the existence of the intrinsic desire, and also demonstrate what actions, attitudes, conditions, demands, rewards block its expression.
The most important of those is the conditionalness of love, of acceptance, that parents, peers, lovers, spouses, bosses, impose on people.
I won’t love you unless… is the most pristine expression of that conditionalness. And even then… I don’t promise… Maybe. Sometimes. When I feel like it… so behave the way i tell you to behave, give up your natural Self, and be a slave for a pittance! 5
Unless you are pretty, unless you are smart, unless you do what I tell you to do, unless… unless… unless.
This is the source of all stuff that ails you, the anxiety, all the confusion, on the inner tension, all the reluctance to follow your inner guidance.
Ed Deci shows that to be a producer and curious, you need autonomy, competence, and relatedness. And that conditionalness, he calls it “contingency”. 6
When you feel that you have no worth unless you do as you are told, as you are expected to be, your life experience is that you are not allowed to be you, unless you are willing to forego love and acceptance.
I think all parents, and maybe all teachers, and all bosses… all people are like this. Use the innate desire to be approved of, to be loved, to be considered as a blackmail, force, coercion to make you do, be, as they wish.
Unless I agree with you, I don’t just disagree on the thing in discussion, I will invalidate you.
I used to be like that. 100% of the time. Very forceful, very conditional, very nasty.
It is not innate to humans to be accepting, to have room for what the other does or says, and still love them.
I remember when it first occurred to me to validate the other person’s experience. It was about 20 years ago, in a conversation with a Landmark friend.
In this regard, in my personal evolution’s point of view, that was the first moment when I could consider separating love, and my opinion about people’s behavior.
You are not what you do, you are not what you say, you are not even what you think and feel.
Underneath it all there is a Self that is suppressed. An intrinsic Self. I am not saying it is all good… I am saying it is intrinsic.
One of my students has an intrinsic Self that is forceful, precise, like a bullet. Not a politically correct self, so she has been suppressing it for 60 years… But you can only imagine the inner tension, the energy it takes to manage the two selves: the outer self of meek, loving, obedient self… against the intrinsic self that wants to fly like a bullet. Not hurt, but fly…
As long as your two selves don’t meet, you are torn, you are ineffective, you are listless, lack energy, and you suffer.
The outer self, the pretend self. And it is not even just one way… a different self for every person, a different self for every occasion. Confusing, and misery making.
Because the only way to be happy and effective, and productive, and creative, and growing into a beautiful human being, is to live from the Intrinsic Self.
This is what this activator works towards.
Of course it doesn’t do the work WITHOUT you. If you are cowardly, if you are conniving, if your benefit from being a fake self is more important to you than being your Self… it won’t work. It will work against your pretenses.
My guess is that all those people that bought it, bought it for how it feels… to be loved unconditionally.
And it feels good… but it is only the starting point.
Because once you get to the Intrinsic Self, it will make you go out and do something with your life.
And you will be either willing or not willing… right?
I am OK either way. It is your life. It is you who suffers. I have done my work. And I am living out of my Intrinsic Self.
I can’t force it on you.
I won’t force it on you.
So don’t come.
You need to own the activator. Having bought the remedy is not enough. You need to have bought the activator. I check.
OK, here is the link to buy the Unconditional Love Activator
- the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories.
- I am planning on writing an article about Esau and Jacob. I think the Bible talks about this exact thing there... We shall see...
- contingent, contingent upon
dependent for existence, occurrence, character, etc., on something not yet certain; conditional (often followed by on or upon. The most important difference between contingency and conditional... that I didn't realize until today is this: there is no firm promise to love you if you do the things "they" ask you to do. It is left uncertain... so it sucks the life out of you. Oh my...): Our plans are contingent on the weather. 2. liable to happen or not; uncertain; possible: They had to plan for contingent expenses.
I tested it on my cats. I was unpredictable when I would feed them. I wanted to know if it makes them behave differently. And it did. They started to "court" me, try to please me... and HATE ME! You don't love your jailers, you don't love your prison guards... but you try to please them. Simple survival instinct. And you become neurotic, and you lose your intrinsic Self in the process.
- the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories.
- I am planning on writing an article about Esau and Jacob. I think the Bible talks about this exact thing there… We shall see…
- contingent, contingent upon
dependent for existence, occurrence, character, etc., on something not yet certain; conditional (often followed by on or upon. The most important difference between contingency and conditional… that I didn’t realize until today is this: there is no firm promise to love you if you do the things “they” ask you to do. It is left uncertain… so it sucks the life out of you. Oh my…): Our plans are contingent on the weather. 2. liable to happen or not; uncertain; possible: They had to plan for contingent expenses.
I tested it on my cats. I was unpredictable when I would feed them. I wanted to know if it makes them behave differently. And it did. They started to “court” me, try to please me… and HATE ME! You don’t love your jailers, you don’t love your prison guards… but you try to please them. Simple survival instinct. And you become neurotic, and you lose your intrinsic Self in the process.