Yesterday's article was the tree that fell in the forest that didn't make a sound. No one was there to hear it. Many read it, no one heard it. No echo. 1
Why? How come?
Probably because you were reading it from the rarefied air of positivity. Or some other filter blocked the genius and the simplicity of the blueprint I was so very proud of.
I actually knew that this was the best article I have EVER written. But it made no echo.
Why? Really why?
In my last Talk to Me call I asked one of my students to get angry. And do it in any language he wishes.
Because without anger you can't activate Ego to give you the energy you need.
It was hard for him. (can you feel that just using the word "hard" you are already turning away from this article? Did you catch it?). So he did what he always does... Pretended. In Polish. But to his dismay, I know enough Polish words to catch him.
He was begging, complaining, whining Why Why Whyyyyy?... and then used some curse words, that I also know. Sounded like a pansy... 2
Did he release any energy? Of course not.
We live in a society where getting angry, getting mad is a politically incorrect action.
But practicing getting angry, and being appropriately angry is a very useful skill.
My landlord kept me checked for a decade with anger. It worked... I haven't had my apartment painted, repaired, and anything breaks, I have to pay for it, because he won't.
If you want to cause action, people scrambling to do what they need to do to satisfy you, you need to learn to get angry.
It's an art, it's a skill, and without practicing you are really bad at it like my Polish student. Lousy.
The same art, the same skill is needed if you EVER want to achieve anything worth achieving.
You need to get angry. That activates the Ego.
The snively, weak, simpering little monster ego you already know intimately is NOT what I am talking about. I am talking about a huge power, the kind that moves the train car off the trapped woman in Japan, the kind that turns societies around, the kind that makes Monte Christo, Bill Gates, Werner Erhard, Steve Jobs, who they are, who they were... outliers.
They are and were not ordinary because of how they could create and ride waves, with their anger.
Positive desires are nice, but they don't make surfable waves... their waves gently lap on the shore.
You need to learn to unleash rage...
It didn't feel good. And then my little sister died. She was a preemie like me, but she didn't make it.
They didn't take me to the funeral. I decided that I killed her. With my anger.
That feeling (delusion) that my anger kills, persisted way into my forties... But I started to do something about it.
I joined a 12-step program, Emotions Anonymous.
I did it to deal with my suppressed anger. To learn to express it, to direct it, to harness it. First because it was killing me... I just wanted less of it.
I discovered that questions that bring the anger out, are powerful, and motivating. That certain questions force you to draw a line in the sand... this is it, no further.
The question I found was:
What are you unwilling to put up with any more?
Everything I ever accomplished that wasn't scripted, wasn't predictable, wasn't ordinary, I accomplished because I wasn't willing to put up with something any more.
I was NEVER motivated by what is available, the goal, the purpose, the goodies at the end of the rainbow. Who cares?
I don't think anyone is... All my student WANT SOMETHING, and then do nothing about it.
Pushing is way more effective than pulling.
- Try to pull a car out of a ditch with your hands... lol. But you can push it out.
- Try to pull anything... and you'll see. Often it takes a long time to put yourself in the position to pull.
- Watch someone pulling themselves up on a rope... and then watch someone who can wrap their legs around the rope... the legs push, and it takes seemingly no effort to get to the top.
In matters of accomplishment, the thing you are unwilling to put up any more is what pushes you... with the energy of the Ego.
Rich people don't care about making money. They are fueled by the unwillingness. Not to... to be less than, to be poor.
I went from the bottom to the top of my class by declaring: there is no way I am going to let my father down after he went out on a limb for me!
There need to be exclamation marks... No passion, no anger, no fuel.
But instead of trying to find the passion FOR something you see for yourself, put all the passion to go away from mediocrity, being a never do well, being a loser, being a wannabe.
- I use the word "disgusting" a lot. It fuels my anger.
- I say "NO WAY" a lot, it fuels my anger.
- I say "I am unwilling... NOOOOOO" a lot. It fuels my anger.
I was mugged some 30 years ago. I screamed so loud, that 14 people called the police for help. 14 people who normally would have shrugged.
I have taken courses and workshops where letting it all out was one of the assignments.
I can scream louder than anyone I know. It has served me.
The wind is in my back. I have a Silent Partner: anger. Ego.
What do you have with all your positivity? Eh?
Nothing much, do you?!
No results, mediocrity, living like a putz.
PS: acting classes are excellent for this.
I did most of my screaming in the acting parts of courses... Peak potentials, and a leadership course taught by Dan Fauci and Larry Gilman Master of Influence.
You need an audience. You need to see that you scare people... and allow them to be scared.
To the degree that you master anger to the degree you master Ego and the immense power available to you.
PPS: if you have time, read the articles on this blog... http://amotherfarfromhome.com
- And I predict the same will happen to this article... lol. Catch me giving a hoot...
- I was thinking the other day that pansies really got a strange and undeserved reputation.
Pansies, in Hungarian, are called the little orphans... lol.
In colloquial terms, a pansy is a sissy, a mama's boy, a frail, unmasculine, unathletic male child who may grow up to be ::gulp:: gay. A group of young boys may say, "Let's not ask Johnny to play football, he's such a pansy, he's always afraid he's going to get hurt."
Not that there's anything wrong with that; it's a wise child who avoids dangerous activities, even in the face of public ridicule. But it doesn't describe the actual pansy, which is really a robust little thing, for all its showy prettiness. Pansies are the hockey goaltenders of the plant world. You can dump them in your beds and your window-boxes and they'll be fine, even if it snows.
So why did the sissy type of pansy get associated with the flower?
Well, it didn't. Or at least not directly.
The insult "pansy" actually comes from the French "pensée", which is the past tense of "to think", but is also a feminine reflexive. This term came about in the mid-fifteenth century, and essentially, it was used pejoratively to describe a man who thinks too much (like a woman is the intimation). Thinking men were not brawny, active, robust men, therefore they were thought to be slightly effeminate. It wasn't until 1929 that the term "pansy" came to mean sissy boy, or homosexual male.