What is the reason people don’t do much with their lives?

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie sophie@yourvibration.com

success-will-never-be-a-big-stepI am in the middle of the Water Energizing Challenge, and that gives me an unprecedented insight into people I didn’t want… 🙁

I am seeing something I didn’t expect, but that is what I am getting: stinginess.

Holding back, dealing thing out in thimbles instead of buckets, love, work, faith, service, energy, everything. For one’s own self, and for others, for life.

Result: No abundance.

Abundance is the opposite of stinginess. Abundance means abandon, flowing, largeness… there is more where that came from. Energy, love, effort, faith… joy!

Even how you laugh: hahaha… but I hear you holding back. Scarcity shows in every movement, everything you do.

And it shows, clearly, in your attitude about your water.

Tight fisted, wanting the most for the least, rigid, calculated, teeth gritted, jaws tight, chest tight… No room for joy, love, faith… nothing. I can feel it in you, no denying.

And that is your base attitude to life, to everything, to yourself too. Your attitude to me. Attitude is a foreign word. In Hungarian it is spelled out: your relationship to something, physically.

When you are stingy, your body turns AWAY from the body of what you you relate to… halfway, three quarter way… and you give it very little of yourself.

Abundance is when you embrace with both arms, body to body, no space between. A hug. Abundance.

This is the attitude, stinginess, why the capacity “put all effort in all actions” I learned from Wallace D Wattles (The Science of Getting Rich), the certain way of doing things that produce for you a great life…

You’d rather forego having a great life than give yourself fully, with abandon, to what you are doing.

That’s me in that picture some 12-13 years ago. I was sick. I was weak. I was spent. But when it came to giving my all… I danced my heart out… I was about 60. I put energy into that dance on stage, energy I didn’t think I had.

I built my life on that: I have energy I don’t even know I have…

But you don’t put even your obviously available energy into anything. Not into reading, not into sex, not into work, a project, learning, a friendship. You hold back, and you live a life in quiet desperation while coming to me for help: you want to have a great life, your mouth says, but your actions say the other thing.

Integrity is when the tongue in the mouth goes in the same direction as the tongue in the shoes. Your integrity number is low, as low as 1%… and yet you don’t know why you don’t experience abundance.

Abundance and stinginess don’t go together.

Mutually exclusive futures! You can be stingy or you can be abundant, but not both.

When someone said: You can have everything but not at the same time… this is what they meant. You can’t have a thing and the opposite of it… it is against nature.

What comes next is an article I wrote four years ago, and unfortunately it is an evergreen article… still valid, 100%.

What is the typical reason people don’t do anything with their lives?

That’s a loaded question, but it’s a valid question.

I have done a lot of observation and thinking on this.

I have come to the conclusion that the core issue is stinginess that results in scarcity thinking and scarcity behavior.

I will list a few variations: I am sure that you’ll find yourself…

This is how it goes:

  • 1. You don’t quite know what you want from your life. So you postpone doing anything until you know… which is never.
  • 2. You know what you want to achieve, what you want from your life, but there is no path that you can see. You have a job, a family, and you can’t see how you could have it all… so you do nothing… or alternatively you pick one area and you work that to death. Most people, in my experience, pick health or improving their looks. But in the big schemes of things, they really don’t do anything in the direction of what they know they want from their life.
  • 3. You know what you want, but it looks like an elephant… Big, bulky, unwieldy… and it doesn’t look like you can fit it in your mouths… So you do nothing. No biting, no chewing… Nothing.

Now, what you see is in common is waiting, postponing, and resignation. Holding your breath.

wwotd_051613_oprah-winfrey-quoteWaiting for the right time, the right opportunity. Maybe after the elections… Maybe in the winter… Maybe when everything returns to normal… Maybe when the kids are back to school. Maybe when my health gets better and I’ll have the energy… And so on and so forth. Endless maybe then’s

Where and how is this being stingy?

Stingy is scarcity in behavior.

It comes from a mistaken belief that energy expended (spent,given) is energy wasted. That energy can be saved and it will be available tomorrow. That energy given to one area will make you lose the opportunity in another.

And maybe occasionally it’s so. When energy equals time… That is not always the case… but energy given to watching TV, getting on Facebook, arguing about politics, energy given to complaining, energy given to ‘not do what you have to do’… that energy equals time, and you’ve lost it forever.

Stingy is getting super busy… a lot of people I watch do that. Get super busy. You don’t see how you could have what you want, so you get super busy to suppress the pain and the disgust you feel towards yourself… Being busy doesn’t make you feel better… but you surely miss the opportunity to grow.

I have a student who spends a lot of her time, being busy about health… because that seems like a safe activity to keep up appearances while producing nothing. So she sends me pictures of food for muscletesting… but when you scratch the mirage, her health numbers are below normal… so what is she accomplishing? Nothing. Her accomplishment is creating a flurry of activity to cover up that she is full of crap.

The opposite of stingy is calculated and purposeful action of preparation.

Preparing and growing the land, labor and capital advantages (foundation on which you can grow something, that is land, labor and capital) are a lot of tiny steps that you can do to increase your advantages in all those areas. And even if you don’t know where you are going exactly, what you are shooting for exactly, increasing your advantages in all three areas will get you ready to take actions directly on a dream that will either emerge, or you already have.

Famed basketball coach said a lot of great things, but what fits here are these:

Fundamentals before creativity. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

Building your land, labor, and capital (your skills, your knowledge, your people/connections) is your foundation… I don’t see ANYONE doing it. Everyone is busy doing things creatively, and no one is attending to the foundation.

John Wooden also famously said:
. (If you are stingy, you won’t)
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. (If you are stingy, you won’t)
Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are. (If you are stingy, your reputation will take priority…)

If you are stingy, if you live with a scarcity mindset, you won’t do any of this foundation building.

Instead you’ll buy a course for thousands of dollars, a course that you have no business studying, you can’t implement, because you have no land, labor or capital advantages…

You want to shoot a bull’s eye, without ever doing the work of becoming a master marksman. In fact you don’t even have an bow and an arrow… You are full of crap.

change-your-eating-and-your-life-one-step-at-a-timeStinginess and scarcity mindset result in you being stupid, not seeing the big picture, and being stuck at the bottom of the totem pole.

I know too many people in that predicament.

Some soul corrections are more stingy than others.

Finish what you start, Sharing the Light, Silent Partner, and Removing Hatred, Sexual Energy are the five stingiest soul corrections I know…

That stinginess is the secret reason why they are the least accomplished of all the soul corrections I have represented in my students.

It is not lack of talent, it is not lack of intellectual capacities, it is an unwillingness to invest in something that is not immediate. Stinginess.

Doing only the things that have an instant and immediate payoff. I’ll drink this and it will make me feel better… immediate payoff. I’ll energize a small bottle of water and drink it… immediate payoff. Tomorrow? Who cares! I’ll drive a taxi: people pay me at the end of the ride… immediate payoff. But investing in a future? nah

Narrow cone of vision, an inability to connect the pieces together to form a coherent whole.

You live in survival. Stinginess is a survival skill. But stinginess in one area, results in overspending in others.

Penny wise, dollar foolish.

My first “Finish what you start” client was a business coach.

Contrary to popular opinion, every business owner, including coaches, are marketers first, salespeople second, and expert providers third. Or should be…

Land, labor and capital.

Land: who you know
Labor: what you know
Capital: what you have to work with

Land (connections): Connection, positional advantage, it’s who you know. It’s not what you know it’s who you know. People you’re spending time around. Also: who you have to sell to… Marketing increases your audience… People who listen to what you have to say, or need what you have to sell.

Labor: Your skill and skill of team. The things in your head, the books you read and things you know. Knowledge. Skills. Tangible and intangible skills. Touch typing, languages, music, dance, emotional intelligence, communication, your health, your fitness…

Capital: Cash. Free money for you to invest into you. Requires money to buy nutritional foods and eating right. To hire a personal trainer…

kaizen-training-5-638I’ve been observing this business coach for 13 years.

In 13 years she didn’t learn any new skills. In 13 years she has only done campaigns, and only when she needed to raise money.

She got her start by STEALING the credibility and charisma of another coach… and eventually stealing the entire business.

I remember why I signed up, and I remember how it felt when she took over. I did another course with the original person (a man who teaches what he does), and it resulted in me creating my first course, while this business coach, the thieving one with the ‘Finish what you start’ soul correction didn’t have even one student who created anything lasting from her courses and coaching.

Why? Because she teaches what she knows, not what she does… And what she knows is useless without the actions steps, which she doesn’t, cannot teach, because she doesn’t do them.

She’s been extremely generous with free coaching, but extremely stingy when it comes to investing her time and energy to grow her own advantage in “labor”… skills and knowledge.

So she has remained on the exact same level, working seven days a week, long hours, no money saved.

I notice the pull of stinginess myself… But I am more self-aware than most, and I manage to override it when I notice it.

The little voice in your head says: It is not worth it. Or maybe it says: It’s not going to work…

And so you watch videos, listen to music, go to parties, or browse the web… never actually creating an advantage in any of the three areas of land, labor and capital.

And what about entrepreneurship? That is the fourth requirement to amount to anything, isn’t it?

Without that no matter what you have amassed in the areas of land, labor and capital, you will still not be able to attain your dreams.

Why? For one, entrepreneurship is the ability to see how what you got can be used by others to solve problems.

You cannot see how what you know or what you have is a value for others.

And if you can’t see it… well you won’t use it, or you won’t be able to sell it.

So you’ll be penniless, or you’ll have a job… where the owner of the company will make all the money, and you’ll get paid for your time.

Being able to see the big picture, being able to see the gaping holes in your land, labor and capital advantage through seeing what is needed to get what you want is also part of entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurship is where the spiritual, emotional, etc. intangible capacities rule.

Mental toughness, seeing the consequences of your actions, process, self-discipline, consistency, connecting the dots, wide cone of vision, courage… etc.

Here is an excellent video series on the false thinking of today’s man about economy and such. A little education for you… if you don’t mind…

The methodology most suitable to grow all four advantages that is the trim tabbing, or more popularly called Kaizen Method, invented by Americans, perfected by the Japanese. Small consistent actions that lead to a result you want… that is the essence of the Kaizen Method.

The “trick” is: it only works if it is a habit. Not a project. Not an event. A lifestyle.

In the beginning any activity will meet with huge resistance from you. “Is it worth it?” you doubt. “It is not worth it… ” says the little voice… cynicism and resignation.

And most of you, clearly, won’t be able to, won’t have time to achieve your lifelong dreams, like becoming a millionaire… if you are, for example, 72 years old already.

But reaching your goal is not the good thing it is made out to be: unless the journey you take makes you, step by tiny step, richer, healthier, more fulfilled, it comes with a huge price-tag: a miserable life.

And the methodology I support, the methodology of a trim-tabbing, Kaizen type of program leads to a fulfilled, well lived life, regardless whether you achieve your goal or not. (email me if you want to learn more about Kaizen… I may do a webinar or two on it)

The “how to” of doing the steps, the “how to” of living life is as important as the “what to do” of life.

And left to your own devices, you’ll fall back to the old way of doing things… and there will be no growth, no fulfillment… Why?

Because the whisper of the 10 thousand generations, and the stupid memes of New Age Positive thinking b.s., the selfish gene will mislead you every step of the way.

That whisper you hear in your head, the little voice, will lead you to be penny wise and dollar foolish actions. It leads you to withhold, to NOT INVEST your energies. It leads you to ask: is it worth it? It leads you to not see the forest for the trees. It leads you to think in projects and not lifetime value.

It makes you angry when a customer or potential buyer asks questions, clarification, or some handholding.

Stinginess prevents you from seeing actions, seeing people and their lifetime value to you… your business, to your life.

Stinginess whispering to you in the little voices, is bad advisor, whispering all day, all night.

Only the best will beat it. Only the ones that know how.

Now, what do I have to offer to help you?

Because, as I have said before, reading an article, even if it is mine, is not going to help you. Why? Because articles are relatively shallow. Because they make your already shabby knowledge base even shabbier.

Because not offering a specific program or product would be not only stupid, but stingy on my part.

So I am offering to you the Amish Horse Training method.

It is a recorded program, and if you choose, you can add a live call to it… I’ll do the when I have at least four participants for a webinar.

Unless you learn and practice practice practice, nothing much will ever change to the better, in fact it will just get worse. So start now, and you can maybe have a future it is worth having. Unless you learn to make your own decisions instead of listening to the little voice in your head, you’ll continue to be stingy and live a substandard life, never amounting to much.

Get the Amish Horse Training method
You may not feel ready. Getting ready to get ready is going to be the first thing to do.

I have a program I won’t even offer unless your numbers say: you can do the work. The 10% of the brave souls who ask for their starting point measurements.

Find out where you are on the evolutionary scale, on getting a Self… by ordering your starting point measurements.

Your vibration is inversely correlated to your resistance.
So do your intelligence, and your health number.

The soul correction shows what you are most intent on hiding from yourself. The “evil” in you… the desire to receive for the self alone. Specifically.

The number of spiritual capacities are the ones that you are willing and able to use on this level of vibration.

48 individual measures.

If you bought these separately, you’d pay hundreds of dollars… but as a batch it is just $25.

To get this information, I have to connect to you energetically… And I find out more about you than just the numbers… I connect to your soul… and I connect to your personal hell… That’s how I make my decision, on that basis. My experience of being you.

I need your date of birth and a picture of you, your face with your eyes visible. You can email them to me.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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