The how of life… the school that you haven’t graduated from


Remember T. Harv Eker and his famous saying: How you do anything is how you do everything!?

This article is about that “how”… the all important, life defining, success defining how.

In this article, you and your life is considered a “business”… thriving or failing or stagnating.

If you are human your mind suggests that you already know everything…

If you think you know everything… and I bet you do… consider that in the “how” department, how you know, how you do, how you react, you are a babe in the woods… You know next to nothing.

Why is this?

Because, for some misguided reason, you consider learning a “what” activity… whereas most learning is a “how: activity. Learning how…

why-your-business-isnt-making-moneyYou have enough useless “what’s,” but you don’t have enough useful “how’s”.

How to see, how to hear, how to feel, how to be, how to follow, how to ask questions, how to ponder, how to bring your attention to what you are learning… how to have a ton of choices in interpreting what you hear/see/read. How to stay on track. How to stay energized. How to set priorities. How to stop what doesn’t produce results… how how how… Millions.

tree-of-life-v-tree-of-knowledgeIn the “how” department you are not better than an ape… one-track pony. Doing things the same way… It makes your life as impoverished and as ineffectual as if you had only a few words.

And because you are so weak in the how… of course your “what” suffers… because a “what” that you cannot integrate, a “what” that you cannot successfully use, is worthless.

what-v-howYou read an article. Maybe it is one of my articles. And maybe the “what” is interesting. Maybe it is new. Maybe it promises you a rose garden.

But you have a problem: there is no bridge between the words and the doing, between the words and the being. Between the what and the how…

You are a fish out of water.

what-howWhat’s missing? The translators. The “how’s” of life.

You have a tiny vocabulary there… and therefore your world is tiny.

Increasing what you can see, increasing your “how vocabulary” is the most effective way to increase who you are, what you can do, and what you are worth.

With a tiny how vocabulary you are not worth a lot.


Increasing your how vocabulary is a lot like learning a new language.

Most tasks in the real world are valued according to the number of “how’s” they require.

An accountant is worth more, if their vocabulary in “how” is bigger.
A CEO may get fired because his how is not sufficient for the complicated job of a CEO.

You come out of the chute with no “how’s”.

You learn your “how’s” by osmosis… this is why a child who has no other mentors is rarely as capable as their parents. Osmosis is a good but incomplete way to learn. 1

Especially because even seeing what someone else does, how they do it, is filtered through your “how vocabulary”…

see-beyondThe richer your “how vocabulary” the higher you go, the more you accomplish, and the more enjoyment you get out of your life as it is.

Today you crave more “what”, and you are still unhappy when you get your “what”.
Tomorrow, with a larger “how” vocabulary, you can be happy with less. Or get more, if you wish.

To build the bridge, you cannot trust your own devices: they already don’t see… don’t hear, don’t perceive. Ultimately, when I measure your vibration, I measure your “how” vocabulary.

You need to be taught. Painstakingly, patiently, and for quite a long time. Day in, and day out.

This is why my 67 step coaching is relatively inexpensive, you take tiny sips from a big cup, I give you gentle nudges to clarify, and you go on at least 18 months.

Taking you from kindergarten to PhD in “how”. An hour a day.

A school in how…

I know you probably can’t see it. Because your vocabulary in “how” is so poor, you can’t even see that you have no words, no bridge, that you are maybe an idiot when it comes to life, to accomplishment, to having an idea and making it real in the world.

Like Elide said in her comment: you are a “treading water” type… Nothing is happening…

soft-toughSo what am I saying? Am I saying that students in the 67 step coaching program don’t learn “what”?

Yes and no. There is a teaspoon of “what” and a bucketful of “how”.

And, whether you believe it or not, “how” wins in life every time, hands down.

We have all seen people with straight A’s (what) be employees of people whose knowledge (what) may be lower, but their “how” is really high.

Entrepreneurs that are successful are masterful at “how’s”… have a large vocabulary.

Tai Lopez himself: masterful at a lot of “how’s.” People on the web ask questions about the “what’s” of his life… NEVER and no one ever asks about the “how’s” of his life. Proof positive that what I am saying is true.

Millionaires, billionaires… can they teach you the how’s of their success?

You see, being able to make you hear you that what they are talking about is a how… that is missing. When someone has a large vocabulary of how, it is hard for them to relate to a newborn… with no “how” vocabulary. You.

Sam Walton bookAnd, of course, they, the billionaires, may tell you, but you still only hear “what”. Because the “how” of hearing is lacking the vocabulary. The cheap paperback of Walmart founder billionaire, Sam Walton, is full of how’s. The book is worth its weight in diamonds… But how many people can hear the how’s?

One of my students, at the end of his first cycle of the 67 steps, suddenly heard “how”. I’d like to quote his post here. That is what inspired this article: how he discovered, after going the full cycle, that what really matters is the how.

baby-stepsHe discovered, after going the full cycle, that what really matters is the how… or really the how’s of doing life.

The part where Tai talked about Sam Walton not getting stuck in the fact that he was wrong about something and moved on from it, really got me thinking that I’m totally opposite of that. I don’t want to be wrong about anything I get caught up in whatever goes wrong and let it bring me down when I could be with it learn and move on.

I have seen glimpses of this about me before but I see now that I live every day to avoid being wrong. I need to change this or I have no chance of changing anything because I will be running from this… but now I have a choice. I’m still going to be here if I make a wrong decision or say something wrong I will be ok and move on; this is the attitude I will bring to it from now on, with practice.

Step by step take the information because that’s how you get ahead. I first need to work to get knowledge whether it’s reading or actually asking questions that I should ask just be open to everything. “I don’t know” is what I need to bring every day because there is so much I need to learn more about and when I do gain more knowledge I need to keep going and not think I know everything. I’m making a commitment to at least read 15 minutes a day and from here I can increase it over time so I won’t feel overwhelmed and quit.

Oh yeah I have been practicing bringing my attention back to what I am listening to… I have to say it’s still hard to do but I’m sticking to it because I think it could be one of the best things for me to get good at. Also I seem to be better in the morning than during the day or night.

my answer:

hey J, I got tears in my eyes reading this.

you are right on. Now just do it. But the way you say it, it is easier than before… because you said it so clearly.

thank you.

and a little more sweet success here:

I am approaching these steps now to keep it as simple as I can take what I see I don’t have to hit a home run every time. before I was trying to be smart and wanting everything now. It’s still there I’m just aware of it now. Thank you.

If you don’t see the significance of the “how” as opposed to the “what” learning, then you are still totally blind, like a now-born kitten.

And if you do… good for you. Now get really good at “how”.

Ask me if I’d take you as a student. No obligation… I don’t take everyone.

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Alternatively, you could come to a workshop I am designing to see where you are… should you be hopeful or should you be hopeless and overhaul your life, to make it good enough.

I’ll put the announcement on this blog. But I may only invite subscribers… people who have at least a little sin in the game… Subscriber here…

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  1. Here is where nurture wins over nature…

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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