What do you like about me? What don’t you like about me? Express yourself

I went to my chiropractor today: my neck was stuck.

I took a ride with the community center van. On the way back the driver of the van gave me feedback on myself: eager. As in eager beaver... busy body, annoying, rushing people. (I was early in the morning, and I was waiting for him outside when he came to pick me up. I meant to make it easier and faster for him, but that is not how it landed... obviously.)

Ugh. That hurts...

 

 

 

 

I haven't gotten feedback that struck me worse in a long time. so suddenly I am there, right with you: the feedback I am asking you to get is not good news.

So I was struggling with it.

Every fiber of my being wanted me to say that it is the guy's vantage point that is wrong, and that I am just the right amount of eager... lol.

Then it occurred to me that I have always been eager. Eager to talk, eager to express an opinion, eager to be first, eager to hurry up any process. No patience for slow pokes.

I must be really annoying for many people.

I am like a tank that clears the road, for everybody, and no one follows.

It's annoying to them... and it is devastating to me.

It is probably the core of who I am... eager. hm. Hard swallowing. Can I change it? Muscle test says "no". Should I change it? Muscle test says "no".

Lacking better or closer examples, I am looking to some people in history. And myths. Moses, Jesus, Joan of Ark, even in history I don't find many insistent, persistent urgers...

I am noticing that I translated eager to urging... I muscle test, and I find this is what he really said. Urging the slow, the comfortable, the slothful.

That is easier to own.

This morning I got another batch of "5 questions exercise" answers.

It occurs to me that you may want to express your like and dislike, your approval and disapproval to me...

So here is an invitation.

Answer the five questions to me, about me. I am asking the questions.

You can do it in writing. You can do it in the comments. You can be honest.

Or you can do it in email.

Or you can get on a five-minute skype call with me, and do it live.

Or you can do it on a webinar.

It could be your Christmas gift to me.

Doing this is a small but significant step towards taking the role in your life you have not taken. Ownership. Cause.

You have to think. You have to observe. You have to have words. Coherence.

It's not easy. And you can do it... but you haven't... not with any consistency.

So please do it. For yourself. I'll receive and appreciate the gift.

Here are the questions:

1. what do you like about me?
2. what don't you like about me?
3. what do you see as my strengths?
4. what do you see as my weaknesses?
5. is there anything else you've ever wanted to say to me but haven't?

PS: Want to know how NOT to answer these questions? Here is a wikihow article for that: http://www.wikihow.com/Answer-%22What-Do-You-Like-About-Me%22

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “What do you like about me? What don’t you like about me? Express yourself”

  1. Ok, I’ve started collecting answers for the 5 interview questions and I’ve noticed that it’s a challenge getting people to answer without hesitation of offending me. I, emphatically, preface the interview with my ‘hey, you won’t hurt my feelings and your honesty is really important to my growth’ disclosure, but I’m detecting some reservation. I intend to get more than 5 people so i can have enough data. Any tips on how to flush out more of the raw truth?

  2. it is you, not them.

    The wording is this: if you REALLY want to know what your loved ones think of you, how they see you, there is this really great interview you can do. you have to be COMPLETELY OPEN AND WILLING to hear their honest responses. you ask them these 5 questions and let them know they can be totally honest and you won’t freak out or get defensive. you have to listen actively but without reacting. Write down what they say, verbatim, the mind will forget!

    1. what do you like about me?
    2. what don’t you like about me?
    3. what do you see as my strengths?
    4. what do you see as my weaknesses?
    5. is there anything else you’ve ever wanted to say to me?

    if you are up for it, it can be a pretty AMAZING experience. very enlightening.

    So when you say “hey, you won’t hurt my feelings” you are saying the opposite

    Their honesty WILL hurt your feelings. All you can promise is this: “I won’t freak out! You can hurt my feelings all you want, I need it. And I won’t freak out.”

    so until you understand how to encourage people to tell you the painful (potentially painful) truth, you are discouraging them.

    and it says everything about you, nothing about them.

    I did this with six people on the call yesterday. Unfortunately I did not record. And it was painful. I have a lot of work to do. But people felt safe enough to tell me the truth. For some there was some hesitation, but eventually they told me what I needed to hear.

    Had I told them “don’t worry, you won’t hurt my feelings” would have been a lie. The truth always hurts. But you need it.

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