And my hunch is that the less trustworthy you are the less trust you have. Period.
Hah, but trust, as a verb, is transitive.
So let's see what COULD you trust, if you did:
- 1. trust in yourself... aka self-trust.Trusting that what comes out of your mouth is the truth
Trusting that you can
Trusting that you will
Trusting that your "beliefs" are accurate
Trusting that you can meet your own expectations of yourself
Trusting that you can meet other people's expectations
and probably a lot more.We'll talk about "beliefs" that everyone seems to know what they mean, except me... I have no idea what they mean... and neither do you. Not here, not now. At some other time.
The more you are a scoundrel, a stinker, a liar, a cheater, the less you trust yourself.
So the more inflated your self-image the less you are willing to take actions that would prove that you lied. That you are no way near to the self you so protective of.
This I have seen proven, over and over, so this is not theory... but that's beyond the point.
- 2. Trust othersWe, humans, seem to project our own attitudes on others, so you are a liar: you'll suspect that other people are liars as well.But because you have your reasons for being a liar, you have your own justification, you are looking at other people potentially lying, and you don't know what to do.
"I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me" is one of the dynamics. Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you...
Another is about knowing: you don't know. And deep down you know that you don't... Especially if life has been proving to you that what you hold about things is not necessarily true.
That makes you suspect that people in authority don't know what they are saying... and enough of the time you are right.
You cut corners, you talk a big talk... no real knowledge behind, just some superficial stuff... You are intellectually slothful, corruptible, and you KNOW that other people are the same.
Now, living without trust is horrible. You have no freedom, because for the sense of freedom you need trust.
And you continue to be an underachiever, a half baked amateur, a dilettante, and that is a life of hell.
Now, here is an unbelievably weird thing that Source is subjecting me.
A few minutes ago I went down to pick up my mail. There was a sales brochure there for curcumin... or turmeric...
It's promising what I'd like: a massive reduction of inflammation... I would hope that my pain in my legs would go away: if it worked.
Source said, not with words, but with denying access to muscle test: "You need to get your own answer, so you see what it's like to be a normal human with no tools to know who to trust."
I remember when life was full of these uncertainties, and I always felt like a bumbling idiot.
And in certain areas of life I still do... because I can't even think of intelligent questions to ask.
Certainty is part of our need for security. It is a need, and it is elementary.
But certainty is not really available.
I thought it was Galileo Galilei, but I googled it... it was Archimedes who said: give me a fixed point to stand on, and I'll upturn the whole world... Verbatim he said: "Give me a lever and a place to stand and I will move the earth. ..." of course in Italian or Latin... That place to stand is the fixed point.
He was a scientist, and he knew that a fixed point is hard to come by.
My only fixed point, the only thing I decided my fixed point is, that what I am connected to, Source, All-of-it, Creator, whatever that is, will never lie to me.
Is that true? I live like it is. But is that true?
It's an unanswerable question.
One thing is certain: I won't buy this turmeric curcumin thing... I am going to deal with inflammation, which is, by the way, unavoidable side effect of life, I am going to deal with it my way.
It's been getting better, and I am doing with eliminating chemicals from my diet. Chemicals that should not be there, that serve only the manufacturer.
Chemicals that keep things crisp. Chemicals that keep things slippery,. Chemicals that make things look more... so they can charge more.
It's working. I am getting better. No denying. it.
OK, back to the original topic: trust...
Trust has to be given, for life to work, for you to feel good about your life... but you needs to start becoming trustworthy.
There are so many ways to be a fake, a pretender, a liar, a schemer, that it takes a lifetime to clean you up.
But you can start any time.
The most important contribution I can offer to my clients and students is helping them ferret out their lies, so they can correct it.
I don't judge. I just point out. I use strong language, because you have gone dead and numb in the years doing this shenanigans... you can't see the cost of your lies.
So I use strong language.
Some get it, some don't.
When you do: it is like the sun came out.
Because once you see it, you can't go back to being blind.
And that is the point.