There are tons of gurus, coaches, coaching companies, transformational coaches, etc. None of them has helped you to become happier

There are tons of coaches, coaching companies, transformational coaches, etc.

Bloggers teaching you tools of success, tools of happiness, etc.

Tons of books… courses… programs.

I have known for a long time that when people followed what was taught they would end up unhappier than they were before. I have tested it, observed it, and have pondered it.

But why?

There are two sides to teaching:

  • 1. Where its ground of being is, i.e. where it’s coming from 1
  • 2. Where it is received from… where the recipient is when listening… the recipient’s ground of being.

It’s tricky.

Neither of these “where” are visible. They are at the base of the iceberg. But always: the listener’s “where” has all the power, not the speaker’s.


You heard that right. The listener’s “where you are listening from” is the only important element in any conversation, in any interaction. 2

How so?

Have you ever read the same books as someone you know, and he went and made a fortune, and you went and read another book? Or went and botched it up?

The input was the same. The input came from the same place. It could be coming from evil… and yet it created life in another, and nothing in you. Really… Evil input… Life created.

This is so common, you reading something good and making crap or nothing from it… I don’t have to worry that you won’t find an example in your own life.

You may be the one who created life… and everybody else didn’t.

You aren’t smarter… and yet.

What is going on? What is happening that is not visible?

  • One listener is toxic soil… or maybe even the paved sidewalk… nothing grows in it, on it, but weeds that love toxic soul.
  • The other is fertile soil

Let’s take the example of the Forrest Gump article:

If you try on: “I am stupid” from the toxic-soil-listener’s point of view: you get a huge emotional response. It means, there, that you are worthless: a weed. It means, there: “I am never going to amount to anything”: a weed. Add your own version of weed here.

If you try it on from the fertile-soul-listener’s point of view, it is like a window opened to fresh air: “Oh, ok… I am not smart, and I am not stupid. But my actions can still be stupid. So let me put my attention to my actions, instead of ruminating about words!”

The difference between the two people is this:

  • One lives on the Tree of Knowledge and is defined by it.
  • The other lives on the Tree of Life and is defined by it.

On the Tree of Knowledge your words define your reality, your words create your reality.

This is what everybody teaches.

All your gurus. But, as you have noticed: it doesn’t quite work the way they say it does. It seems that only the bad words create your reality…

The good words have no power. The bad words have immense power.

That is the toxic nature of the Tree of Knowledge.

All the positive thinking just made it worse.

And then to make it even worse, they say: what you do won’t matter, only what you think. Your thinking creates your “vibrational frequency” and it will magically attract to you what you “are”… all the goodies that you crave.

They don’t say that what you’ll attract is crap… because of all the things you think, the crap has all the power.

The other thing they don’t say is that all this “Law of Attraction” crap is just a fancy name of being in the desire trap, that is more misery than you started with.

  • Visualize: even more misery
  • Create vision boards: even more misery
  • Mind movies… that’s the answer: and all hope for happiness are going up in smoke.

But that is the kind of life the Tree of Knowledge gives you.


I just finished Seneca’s 124 letters written two thousand years ago.

There is hardly any difference between people of Rome then, and now.

Desire trap. Tree of Knowledge. Fear of Death.

What is wrong with the Tree of Knowledge?

There are two actual wrongs:

  • 1. words are undefined, imprecise, and open for interpretation… by anyone. The words that wreak havoc are the words that have an emotional payload… words “meaning” mostly something that is not physically definable.There are a few words that can be defined, but have emotional payload as well… by the extended meaning, like gold, like ivory, like bomb, like forest fire, like ice age.
  • 2. An that leads us to the second “wrong”: the meanings.The meanings that can be twisted and moulded into anything.Freedom, liberty, immigrant, rights, law… depending on the side you are, these means different things to you.

But only on the Tree of Knowledge.

But no matter what side of life you are, if you are listening from the Tree of Knowledge, you are doomed to be miserable, and live a wretched life… regardless of anything.

Why? Because nature, the law of physics, the law of Life aren’t  allowed to be guiding you at all on the Tree of Knowledge.

Some things are up for interpretation, and others aren’t.

When you violate them you get sick. You get morose. You get miserable. You die.

Nature, Life, Soul, don’t talk to you with words. Nor through emotions. They talk to you through the clearly defined, clearly understandable language of feelings.

You, most likely, have to go “back” and learn that language. Learn all of it. And then, when you are firmly grounded in that language, when you are firmly entrenched on the Tree of Life, you can listen to words, and you’ll have no emotions hearing them.

I live on the Tree of Life. The 13th Floor. So when I said “I am stupid” I didn’t have any emotions. Neither nice, pleasant, comfortable emotions, nor unpleasant ones.

I was saying: I am smart has as little emotional content as I am stupid, when heard from The Tree of Life. They are just words.

What will decide my life is my actions. They can be appropriate or not. Precise or not. Swift or not. Planned or not. Made with foresight or not. Considerate or not. Honorable or not. Building or not.

And I could continue looking at the “strait and narrow” world of actions and find millions outside of the strait and narrow, and only a few inside. But the ultimate question would be: are my actions effective in taking me to where I intended to go.

Yes? that was a smart action. No? that was a stupid action.

My job, on the Tree of Life, is to bring observation, feeling, and virtues (spiritual capacities) to decide what action to take.

NOT words. NOT “what should be”. No. astuteness as to how life works, what is the circumstance exactly, and using all the tools of reason, structured thinking, knowledge of history, knowledge of logic, knowledge of mathematics, knowledge of dynamics to make sound decisions.

If your actions tell you whether your actions were stupid or smart, you can see then that your knowledge base about life, about reality is just as important as your intellectual capacities. And those are learned, not innate.

  • A child can have an IQ of 160 and still kill himself because he doesn’t know much.
  • And if he is your child, he learned to live from you, he probably won’t know much when he grows up.

I have a client in England. She came to me sad about her autistic son. I worked with her. The most important thing, (after she changed her diet,) was to make her understand that her son’s behavior is a result of her behavior.

That your behavior is responsible for your child’s behavior is a hard thing to learn, but as you’ll see: it is the all important thing to learn.

She took it to heart. And she started to read the books I recommend, or at least she read the Feeling book.

And without being prompted, the child turned to reading, away from his previous computer game habit.

She read the book, and he changed.

The child, a child is still fertile ground… and mainly lives on the Tree of Life.


Let me give you another example: this one is going to illustrate that what you say won’t matter… the listener has all the power.

A client paid me money, after multiple nudges from me, to have her health evaluated. She had been happy with her health. She is thin…

I spent hours with her. I tested and retested her supplement needs and her food list.

I proved to her that when I energize her water, through sending energy to her water, her hydration rises.

I watch what she eats, and how the water she supposedly energizes isn’t getting her well

I know that my words, my instructions fell on toxic ground.

She eats so little, and so fancy: it is obvious that she eats on the 14th floor, with her mind. She eats a handful of this and a handful of that. 7-8 meals a day. Never eats like a hungry person. Eats for pleasure, but I bet she doesn’t even taste the fancy food she is eating. Her health number is stuck at 10%, and her hydration number at 10%.

She sets up the water energizing equipment to prove that she is smart, not to actually do what the system is supposed to do: energize the water. Fancy. Tricky. “Brilliant”… techie… and it’s not working.

None of it is about Life and living… it is all to prove that she knows, she needs no one to tell her what to do. Stuck in a 3-year old child that says: “I know”. “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Now, what should you do if you are like this person who manages to plant my seeds in her toxic ground and grow weeds?

First off: she is not alone. I have other clients like her. It is just easier to use her as an example, because she generously documents what she is eating, her thoughts, her attitudes, and I am working with her to find what part of the equipment doesn’t work.

So what to do if you are this toxic, if your whole life happens on the Tree of Knowledge?

My suggestion is that you learn to feel your feelings.

That is the first step to get you off the Tree of Knowledge, the cause of misery and evil in the world.

It will be distasteful to you. I guarantee it. And it may take a long time. And your brainy nature will not want to do it.

But your life will remain meaningless, and you will remain ineffective, unless you do.

The fact that seven billion people still live on the Tree of Knowledge doesn’t make it right.

Test from time to time, where you are listening from.

Tell yourself “I am smart” or “I am stupid” and see if you have an emotional reaction.

If you do, you are still on the Tree of Knowledge. And you are wretched.

oh… ground breaking new book “Feelings” by Margoczi the help that you can get to feel your feelings.

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  1. You can be Landmark Education, Werner Erhard, The Buddha, Osho, or Seneca, or me… you teach from your ground of being, and you’ll find out that it didn’t matter… not at all. That unless the listener shifted to YOUR ground of being, you are ineffective… and all you do is make noise.
  2. The Trump followers think it is Trump’s speaking… but it is their listening that gives power to the guy

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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