Why you want to be the stupidest person in the room

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie sophie@yourvibration.com

Oscar Wilde wrote, ‘…one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.‘ The world demands that you always try to be the smartest person in the room…

I saw something today that can be important to for you to learn, because I don’t think you know. It is against everything you have ever thought…

Because it comes from intelligence, not from smart.

Being the stupidest person in the room is the most intelligent move you can ever make…

Smart is ego… intelligence is all of you. Smart cares about how you look… intelligence cares about how you perform.

All your wants are ego-based. And ego is rarely your friend.

When you look at yourself, or I look at myself, this is a situation we don’t want to be in. Ego tells you you won’t feel good about yourself unless you are the smartest person in the room.

That urge and that feeling come from the body… they are part of the selfish gene’s guidance… too many predatory genes… too much about survival.

The ‘Feelings’ book (70% truth value! as opposed to a ‘normal’ book, that has 10% truth value or less) calls it the ‘Relative devaluation of your I’ a guidance feeling… the feeling that you hate, and allow it to guide you, to move you to surround yourself with people who you feel are less than you.

The book written by a Hungarian engineer identifies feelings in your body that could guide you if you learned what they are and why they are there. The guiding feelings that could make you the most intelligent you can be.

The non-physical (ego) pain you feel when someone is better, smarter, prettier, etc. than you.

One of the signs that your TLB (Twitchy Little Bastard) score is low, that you don’t like to put yourself into a situation like that. You don’t want to hear about you not being the smartest, you don’t want to know about it.

You want to feel the smartest person in the room. My hunch is that this is what is the real cause that people are hesitant or outright against doing any programs with me. It is why people, many, cry bloody murder when the get their starting point measurements where the measures don’t say: you are the best person on the Planet…

So you put yourself in an environment where you feel smart…and it is only downhill from there…


Because your ‘Originating Circle’ sources you. It is your immediate environment that defines you. If you don’t have to do anything to be on the top of the pecking order, you won’t do anything. You, in fact lower yourself to the low of your environment.

There is a saying that your income is the average of the five people you most frequently associate with. I don’t believe that this is true.

But… your vibration, your attitudes, your desire to grow, what you do when there is nothing to do, what you do with your life… these are directly effected by your human environment.

My father was a high achiever. He was ambitious. And in spite of an unambitious environment in the home, he managed to achieve his ambitions through being able to be isolated and in his own world and not participate…

I did the same when I realized how unambitious my environment was… so I isolated myself and slept through the social interactions part of the day… and pursued my ambition when they were sleeping.

Who you surround yourself with effect the invisible the most: your humility.

Humility is the number one requirement for learning and growing. Humility is, not accidentally, is the opposite of your about-me score.

If and when you and your self-concern occupies much of your visual field, you have little room for what other people, what the world, what life wants.

If you want to feel smarter than others, you have a strong aversion for your  precious  ‘I’ to be devalued by comparison. When you live in your self-concern, your eyes and your whole being is on the horizontal plane, the competitive plane, the Valley of the Shadow of Death, and your selfish gene is running the show, your life.

It is also a high about-me score, lack of humility, that prevents you from feeling the guidance feelings from your body… which makes you feel smart but makes you not intelligent.

Intelligence expresses itself in behavior, in action. And all your results come from actions… nothing else.

Smart and intelligence can almost be said are two mutually exclusive phenomena… You are either smart of you are intelligent.

Smart is a mind stuff, intelligence is action stuff.

I could tell the story of my life singularly focusing on my about-me score and the resulting behavior.

Much of my life I was like everyone else: wanting to be the smartest person in the room… and that prevented me from going through the uncomfortable actions that proved to me that I wasn’t very smart.

Only when back in 1996 I decided to embrace and own that I am not smart that my life started to change, and I started to take my eyes of having to feel smart all the time.

Was it something I sustained and it was always? No… it is still occasionally a struggle. Just because you silence the ego, it doesn’t go away.

Ego doesn’t care about your results, ego only cares about you feeling better, smarter, prettier, etc. than others.

  • The world we live in is full of pithy, useless, non-essential information, that uses up your brain capacity.
  • The world we live in is all about competition, comparing, and making it. Making it through life… not living it. And uttering slogans while you do it.

You either choose the world we live in as your ‘originating circle’ where smart is currency and you choose to live on the competitive plane and be miserable with moments of glee,

…or you isolate yourself from it, move to the vertical plane, the creative plane, give up being so concerned about yourself, about being smart and how you look to others, and  start becoming intelligent, taking intelligent actions.

When you need to look, sound, and feel smart, you don’t have any humility to be intelligent and do the things that achieve what you could feel good about.

In essence, you cannot live on the competitive plane and have humility, the  capacity to see beyond yourself.

It seems to you, while you are on the competitive plane, that humility works against you. That humility devalues you, that humility works against your survival. But I don’t know if you have ever observed yourself being in survival mode: you shut your eyes, you shut your ears, you tighten your muscles, you stop breathing.

You stop being open. Yeah. You are forcing.

Life is a dance, and you stop dancing when you are in survival, in self-concern. Life stops being fun.

How does humility work in life? Here is an example, mine.

I watch the old people in my exercise class. I am physically more decrepit than most of them. I feel my pain, and it is bad.

But I dance through the class. I party. I don’t just dutifully do as little as I can… I party! And when the class is over, and the music is still on, I dance… literally…

Because I live on the creative plane… I am OK being decrepit, stupid, laughed at, even looked down upon. I am alive. Nothing to prove, nothing to protect, nothing is significant.

Significance, your own, or the things you protect, is at the root of your deadness.

On the creative plane nothing is significant. That doesn’t mean they are not important, or they are not relevant. You are important, relevant, to you. Others? Who cares! You are not here to impress others, you are here to live your life in a way that suits you.

Significance is how much of your ego, your survival is vested in how you look.

Significance is interested in what is outside of you, what can be taken away. Life, money, being smarter than the next guy. All competitive plane, all make you open to manipulation and deceit. All make you miserable in the end.

OK, so what can you do?

The most important thing is to start feeling the feelings and start learning what they guide you for. Also be able to tell the difference between the guidance of the ego and the guidance of the spirit.

I attempt to teach it in the Feelings class.

It works best if you change your attitude about pain, especially non-physical pain. To actually welcome it, instead of having a knee jerk reaction to it.

How do you do learn to increase your pain threshold for ego pain?

It will take a while, but it’s worth the efforts.

Ferret out all the ways you make yourself feel smart. Feeling smart is a bad thing. Feeling smart is almost always a sign that you are not intelligent… that you are doing something that is not intelligent.

Some examples:

  • you know the answer,
  • you pontificate
  • you look for the answer in your memory
  • you claim you understand
  • you feel you can do it and then don’t do it
  • you correct someone’s error
  • etc.

Everyone teaches you to have high self-esteem, but self-esteem is from the competitive plane, and it makes you feel smart, maybe even superior, while you either do nothing, or do things that are not intelligent.

All examples of high self-esteem make you arrogant, make you stop looking, stop listening, stop any kind of expansion.

They are the sizzle, not the steak. They kill life. And they fill you with false superiority.

A false superiority that places you above everyone…

I have a student who claims they can’t find people who are smarter… but their husband they despise is smarter, has higher vibration, and has more DNA capacities they have.

I have students who always hold court, look for people who seem to them less smart, and teach them, guide them, help them. Only to scaffold their ego, not their knowledge.

Your desire to make a difference is part of this: the stronger this desire is, the more it indicates that you are looking to be the smartest person in your circle.

My hunch is that the gurus, healers, coaches all suffer from this disease.

So, what should you do? you whine… lol.

Or you may say: I get it but I don’t know how? waaa waaa waaa… lol.

I really don’t know. I don’t have an answer. I have some ideas, but no answer.

Did you catch that? I am willing to stay with the discomfort, with the unbecoming behavior to a teacher… I don’t have the answer.

Why would I not give you an answer?

I have already given you some possible starting points! But you’ll drag it to the competitive plane.

Pick a starting point you can see that you can do.

By the way, your soulcorrection should give you a hint… to see how you limit yourself in every action of your life.

You could do what an intelligent person does: put yourself always second to someone who is very smart.

  • When you read…
  • When you comment on a blog…
  • When you talk to me…

I am working on an Originating Circle to keep me very humble.

I have Source in my originating circle… and I am justified to feel stupid… I don’t have to even practice humility… lol, embarrassed laugh.

I pick what I read… to keep me humble.

I have a new teacher who is way smarter and way more intelligent than I am.

I had a heart to heart last night with Source.

I asked about my life’s work, if it is useful for me to think that my writing survives me.

The answer was a non-committal yes. A small yes.

And then I started to ask question why it’s not a strong yes.

And I got that unless people are ready to learn, unless people can be taught, what I have found, what I worked for all these years, is just noise.

Osho’s words are as alive (or more) than when he was alive.
Dr. David Hawkins’ legacy is kept alive

I, to date, have no person who would do even one thing to keep my words alive…

Unless you become an Expanding Human Being, my words are just words. And you’ll feel smarter than me. You’ll know everything better…

So what do I recommend?

  1. read and observe the feelings the Feelings book introduces. You can read it slowly… and find the feelings…. have patience.
  2. sign up to my Feelings class

Without using your feelings and having distinctions of where they come from, ego or spirit, you can never become intelligent, and you can never grow.

You can even safely say: you need to awaken your Inner Authority… and the access to that is your feelings.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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