No man is an island. You need others if you want to succeed… How to get people on your team

One of my students said to me: "you are like a scientist. And yet so much of your work lies in the realm of the not easily measured."

I have always had a difficulty answering the question: What do you do?

Defining what you do is important. To whom? To you: if you want support. Unless THEY know what you do, they don't know if they are aligned with what you do or not...

It is a need and a must to "meet the expectation of others". It is a survival need. You can't skip it.

Depending on what stage of personal evolution you are, it may be a lot more important to you than meeting your own expectation.

If are not comfortable with ambivalence and controversy, this may be the most important article to read this year...

This article will give you pointers how to meet the expectation of others, while you do the work with me, so they will support you in your quest.

How? Why? Really?

elevator-pitch... what doesn't workWhen you define, express in clear words, what you do, what you are up to, where you are going, suddenly you create clarity and as always: with clarity comes power.

You may have a different "what do I do?" in different areas of your life. One for your health, one for your wealth, one for your love, and one for your happiness... the four pillars of Eaudaimonia, the good life.

One of the difficulties in life comes from the mistaken belief that if you are doing something to make your life beautiful, happy, your life must be broken, and there is something wrong with you.

It is from the Tree of Knowledge... And is a lie. But it is the reason most people don't start this type of self-development work, or if they do, they hide it.

You can be a famous, rich, well loved person with a good marriage and still strive for the good life... because the good life is none of those things, no matter what anyone says 1 .

The good life is an inner thing, invisible to other people. Your inner treasure.

And it is your sacred duty and it is your sacred right to go for it...

...but the Tree of Knowledge is a serious "opponent"... because if you can't explain to other people what you are doing, in a way that disarms them, they will want to pull you back. Remember the chicken coop from The White Tiger?

Everybody understands the trappings culture calls the good life. If that is what you are going for: you don't have to explain it to anyone, they will understand it without explanation.

But when you get to the inner life, the invisible life, it's a different case. Because it is invisible, you have to put it in words, words that speak to their inner life.

Your desire to grow, will make culture, religion, even your spouse bristle: it feels like an attack on them. It feels like you are saying "no" to them. It feels like you are leaving... them behind.

Just try this thought experiment: imagine yourself married. Your spouse is spending a lot of time doing something weird. You ask them what they are doing and why and they say: "Because I want to be happy."

What would you feel? You would take it as a personal attack on yourself and your relationship: "You want to be happy outside of our relationship?" And you would start tearing your spouse down, blocking their happiness... because in society. on the Tree of Knowledge, marriage is about property, possession, control, not about individual happiness.

On the Tree of Life love is different. Love is wanting for the other what makes them happy, whether you are part of it or not. But on the Tree of Knowledge the so called "love" is possession. 2

What I am saying is this: in the world of society, whatever you are trying to do in my programs is dangerous to share. Dangerous... unless you can share it in a way that allows you to meet the expectation of others...

You want to be able to touch the person who you are talking to, inside.

So what you are saying cannot be about you. And it cannot exclude them. And it cannot place you above them.

When Victor Frankl, the man who wrote "Man's search for meaning" spoke about himself and what he was doing, he said something like this: I want to be able to live with dignity under any circumstance. Live with dignity and die with dignity.

When you hear that, you think: "hey, I want that too!" And won't feel jealousy, hate, or the desire to kill him for leaving you behind.

Every single person who comes to me to study with me has something similar to Victor Frankl's statement. But their statement hasn't been articulated... more than that: it hasn't been articulated even inside. Or not fully.

In business this articulation is called "the elevator speech".

We are not a business... What we need is to be allowed. Allowed to do what we want to do, and maybe even be supported in that. Joined with, if possible.

The elevator speech is a short statement about what you are doing... Its purpose: to gain the acceptance of another, especially the acceptance of people who are afraid we'll leave them behind.

I have had students who came to me after they broke away from some cult. Being in the cult destroyed their marriage, put them in debt, and left them scarred.

I found that cults give you an "elevator speech" that puts you above others... A cult's purpose is to divide and conquer.

The cult's purpose is to divide you from your loved ones and conquer your mind.

Every cult is evil. Evil in its purpose, evil in its results.

Any goal that is exclusive and personal, that puts you above others, is cultish.

Anything that gives you the "rights" to preach at other people, to tell them what is the "right way" is cultish. By virtue of YOUR behavior and attitude.

The Tree of Knowledge is full of this type of right and wrong... all these are designed to separate you. To feel yourself above others.

I am trying to teach you the way of the Tree of Life... where no one is better than another. And what works, what makes you healthier, smarter, happier than you were is good, but only because of your own experience...

The elevator speech is to create the bridge between you and the world in a way that you are not forced to give up who you are or what you want.

For most people wanting to be able to be "free to be, free to be who they are" is a huge motivation. I remember when just these words brought tears to my eyes.

Being free to be yourself is the top of the mountain. On the way up first you need to find your real self... and that is a huge undertaking, difficult and confusing.

The two selves, the society created self-protecting fake self and the soul self are at odds.

And to dig through this rubble is work. To be able to do it reliably you need to have a lot of distinctions, a lot of awareness, and you need to be well. You need to build a strong core. Feel your core. Allow your body's sensations to guide you.

Society, the Tree of Knowledge, will do its darned best to keep you on your heels... 3 unbalanced, unsure, flimsy, floppy, and all over the place. In your head. Doing nothing... especially not inner work.

  • For many of you simply saying: "I want to be all I can be, without having to get 10 degrees, without having to leave home..." can be a sentence that wins you support.
  • For many of you simply saying: "I want to create inner peace... To feel myself and be happy with myself..."
  • For others: I want to see if my talents are for real... And make the best of what I have...
  • For yet others: "I want to be fully with life... I want to live my life instead of simply surviving life..."

If you look at the examples I give, none of these exclude your spouse, your children, or your parents. They are an inner shift. The outward actions may not change at all... and they may. But they are not big flashy changes... they are subtle... Because what is the difference between a life well lived and a life survived is all in the invisible, in the subtle, in the "hard to measure" part of life.

It is not how you speak. It is not what words you use. Those are in the visible.

It is how you DO what you do that talks to them.

Whether you are aware of that or not, every person can tell whether you are fake or real... because the invisible becomes visible through the "how" of your actions.

You are not fooling anyone.

The reason you came to study with a True Empath, I hope, is because you don't want to be fooling yourself.

One of my students who escaped a cult shared that the words of the cult and the inner world of the people were diametrically opposed... they preached love but expressed and lived hatred.

you cannot fool me. I am a true empathAnother of my students who wasn't getting closer to living according to the values he spoke "preached" to his parents, who simply told him that he should talk himself into doing what he is preaching about...

The standard of the Tree of Knowledge is pretending that you are better, smarter, more accomplished than you are.

It keeps your insides in turmoil, because you know the truth.

Complaining about it, even telling the truth about it, is still Tree of Knowledge. It is not authenticity, it is lip service.

Only when you match your thoughts, your words, and your actions are you authentic. Everything else is wretched.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony

Is it possible to be happy 24/7, 365 days a year?

I don't know.

Seneca, who lived the closest to that ideal 2000 years ago, was true to his word 30% of the time.

In the past 2-3 weeks, I have been true to my word only 50% of the time... but I have had weeks when the number was 70%. 4

70% of the time for Seneca, and 30-50% of the time for me: we have been inauthentic and wretched...

freedom to be yourselfSeneca, with his 30% has been revered and admired by people... for the past two thousand years...

You? Shoot first for 5%... 10%.... there are no jumps, no big spurts. 5

Those of you who thought this was going to be like winning the lottery, and have given up... unwilling to do the work... pick it up again.

The more you've been pretending in life, the more work it will take to start seeing your way. But there is not one human who cannot do it.

Telling the truth: "I am unwilling to do what it takes" will set you free. Free to be wretched. It is a valid choice. I am not holding you back. I'll respect your choice. Everyone has the right to choose hell. Or the Tree of Knowledge.

If you have been having difficulty getting your cell hydration number up above 30%, I am finally doing an informative and hopefully comprehensive "lecture" on a webinar so you can get it right. The Water Energizer Webinar...

Until the end of this month I will check your setup and hydration for you for free... as long as you submit your pictures of your setup to the Water Energizing Contest.

Take advantage of this. After March 31, I'll charge you my regular rate to check you or your setup. This is a special opportunity to get it for nothing.

 

OH, and if you need to find out what is your current cell hydration, here is a link to ask me to measure it for you

 
 
 

Footnotes

  1. even Tai, lol
  2. Don't try to find love in life the way it is. It is non-existent. You love ice cream and you eat it. You love your husband and keep them on short leash. You love your business and suffocate it... The Tree of Knowledge is not a place where love is even possible.
  3. try standing on your heels... how sturdy are you? how long can you do it before falling over? Not long, right?
  4. My errors are all in the area of health. Messing up my diet. But diet is the foundation of this work. If you live like the culture tells you to live, eat for fun instead of eat because you are hungry, you live on the unwholesome foundation of The Tree of Knowledge, and can't do the work, because you are already a liar.
  5. Start with your eating. Eat what your body can turn into energy. Nothing else. And enough of it... Add the supplements that provide the essential nutrients that the food can't cover. Make sure that you drink coherent water, so your cells can be plump and give you enough energy to grow.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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