If you want something, it tends to get away from you.
Whether it is love, having a community, being well thought of, or money… the wanting it renders you tense, reactive, and closed off. Act in predictable ways, the ways we have revealed for some of you in the Upsets workshop. (Started as Feelings webinars)
Wanting is a mind thing. Maybe a desire trap, maybe not, but definitely not from the Tree of Life, where it is obvious that if you want something, then you go for it, and do the things that get it for you. Not what you always do…
No tension, no tightness, no tight throat… just doing the things that get it for you.
If you just pay attention to the tightness in the throat, you’ll know if your desire is on the Tree of Life or on the Tree of Knowledge.
Desires on the Tree of Knowledge keep your vibration low, or lower it.
In the Reclaim coaching program I have people regularly ask me to retest them, so they can track how well they are doing.
And when there is a relapse… the vibration number goes down, the root of that is always wanting. An agenda. In any area of the student’s life.
So how do you create a life without wanting?
One of the first things I have done to achieve that is realizing that wanting comes from the toxic soil of “there is something wrong here”. So I have learned to say: “There is nothing wrong here… nothing is missing. Nothing to fix.”
That has allowed me to stay open and start to grow, or keep on growing, depending where I was at the time.
The “nothing to fix” life style is open and effortless. As in no tension…
I have spoken about the plate spinner’s analogy of a life well lived.
You need to inject new energy into every plate, so none falls off.
Most people live a life that is one track… not many plates spinning. Maybe one. Maybe two. They wear blindfolds to block out most of life… because they can’t bear to see it.
We are not used to spinning many plates, and it is a learning process.
For example, one of my best students is supposed to write a dissertation… which is a 20-30 page paper, to get a diploma. Degree in American terms.
He started on it a year ago. He has done work that has proven to be worthless for the dissertation most of this time. He got an idea and followed it… never raising his head, widen his cone of vision to notice that he was heading in the wrong direction.
It’s like traveling across America just following a rule: only right turns, no left turns…
In the work we’ve done together this has proven to be the best thing that could have happened to him: he could finally see how he was living his life.
Now, the dissertation is still not ready. But in the meantime he has managed to add several “plates’, had gotten his drivers licence, improved his health, got himself a student who pays, and is practicing piano every day.
His vibration went up too.
His ONLY job was to pay attention to is his tendency to have resistance and that tightening of the throat.
And catch it so that it never goes longer than 10 minutes.
It’s taken a year, and it is still not a given: he still needs to catch it.
Life, when it’s agenda driven is tense, and very unpleasant. And even when you get the result, it is hard to enjoy it. It’s like having sex while you can’t relax… not it… is it?
Doing the Reclaim program as it was designed: listen to an audio, map it on your life, follow it to the rabbit hole, look at your own life through the perspective the audio suggests to use, read books every day, and post your notes in our private forum… is the perfect environment to bring up what doesn’t work about you.
- If you are someone who has a resistant personality (soul correction), it is all about managing that resistance.
- If you are someone who craves acknowledgment: it is all about managing that craving.
- If you are someone who just want to continue doing what you are doing: it’s going to be a lot of head-butting.
- If you are someone who is limp, gutless: you either toughen up, or you won’t get anything out of it
And obviously if you do it in order to get anything, then you are your worst enemy.
So how do you not have an agenda?
Consider yourself a bird… and feel if you can fly with all that tension in you? You can’t… you need freedom, relaxed wing-muscles, relaxed neck muscles, or you’ll fall like a rock.
You can have direction. But not tension. Not agenda.
- Saying: I am going for that… meaning, let’s say a field mouse…
- But saying: I want that! is very different. Full of tension… no going for it.
It is, by the way, something that for a human in the 21st Century, will require a lot of awareness. Because civilization, culture, is all Tree of Knowledge: the knowledge of what is good, what is bad… all made up, all wrong.
Prejudice. Pre-knowing, with no evidence to support it. Knowing what is not knowable.
Life is complicated. Chaos theory is what I am reading about now… It says that you can’t predict what will happen, because it cannot be predicted.
What seems good now, will be bad tomorrow. Good is an agenda. Bad is also an agenda…
The old story of a farmer:
One night horse thieves stole his five horses… His neighbors came and said: that’s bad. He responded: I don’t know yet. early to judge.
His son went and looked for the thieves and stole back the horses and a beautiful stallion in addition. The neighbors said: that’s good. the farmer said: too early to judge.
Next day the son was thrown off the stallion, and broke his leg. That’s bad, said the neighbors. Too early to judge, said the farmer.
Later the king’s soldiers came to take all the young men to go to war. The didn’t take the son with the broken leg. That’s good, said the neighbors…
I don’t know how the story ends, but looking at life as if it had a predictable outcome and then stay that way is what low vibration means.
Looking at life with narrow cone of vision, with no perspective on time, with no idea about how life works.
Agendas force you, like a vise, to go for something that seems good to you, but may be the death of you. And whether that force is for your own independence (don’t tell me what to do), for being cherished (please love me), or for pleasure (yaay), agendas come from the narrow cone of vision of a pedestrian whose vibration is low.
Because, in a sense, the vibrational number is an indicator of how high you are looking at facts and life from.
Agendas also tell me that you have hardly any skills. Why? Because skills cannot be built with agenda. Skills, like flying, need you to be loose: not tight.
Your first job, if you want to raise your vibration, is to get aware enough often enough to catch the tension. In your neck, in your shoulders, in your throat.
And then release them… and get into action. Release the agenda. (there is nothing wrong here… there is nothing to fix!)
20 times a day if necessary.
I am no exception: the only difference between you and me is that I am caught in tension less frequently than you. But living in the world, talking to people, coaching, computer trouble, viruses, sales people work on me too…
I have a rule of thumb for myself: catch it within a minute. I mostly can, and sometimes that tight throat goes as long as two-three minutes!
This requires me to be vigilant. I even sleep with awareness: I wake up and release… Or wake up, get up and release.
Yesterday I woke up with a start: I dreamed that someone close to me died.
It was early, but I had to know if it was true.
So I got up, and checked with the only person who would know. It wasn’t true.
I didn’t go back to sleep. Instead I put in an 18 hour workday. Without any resistance.