I am still working on kindness. And will continue until I get good at it.

By the way, this is exactly how I "dealt with" the tens of spiritual capacities in the past 30 plus years: "chew" on one until I got all the juice out of it.

Spiritual capacities are a lot like a language: with each new one a whole new world, a whole new understanding becomes available. A whole new person. A whole new way of looking at the world.

I've read somewhere that schizophrenia and speaking several languages are intimately connected: the new language brings about as much change as if you were had grown a new personality... They probably should have written: multiple personality disorder... Disorder smisorder... Bah.

I am speaking about the miraculous switching ability of perspective, of understanding... the capacity underlying kindness. Where at a moment's notice the "kind" person moves their perspective to include the place from where the other is speaking. Or in the parlance of the Partnership Course, they can change the field inside which to listen.

Yesterday we had a ground breaking session in the current course, From Upset to Communication. 1

Each participant was asked to deliver a communication in the different fields of existence, the different "social" fields.

It was a lot like an actor's training combined with improv... lots of laughter.

Breaking up with a girl-friend, firing clients, ending a budding friendship, done in different contexts, lots of fun.

I have never seen this before, never done this before, but it afforded me to see something.

All the kind role-models, instead of seething from anger, like I do a lot, moved to a different field inside which what was just said was not an insult. And they answered from there. Kindly.

Here is an example: I have a client. He is obviously angry. Whether he is angry at me or not: he hasn't said. But his language is terse, attacking, provoking.

Receiving his communication from my usual place, where I am the Big Kahuna, and I demand respect, caused strife... in me. I was going tell him off, and call him to order...

But, because of yesterday's improv type of session I could see that he didn't look at me like the big Kahuna, he was talking to me like he talks to his wife... and that HE is the Big Kahuna.

So I could say: oh, OK, I can just answer from there... and "let go of the bone" and just answered his questions, without any animosity.

It's not the precision of the fields that created this miracle, it is the willingness to shift... wherever.

Inside our "one track pony" type of world life doesn't work very smoothly, and being kind there is near impossible. I have a track record to prove that it was near impossible for me.


  • 1. I once had a friend who did her whole life inside the field "admired and admirer".

    With everyone, any circumstance, all the time.

    Not much gets done in that field, by the way. She was a realtor, with a dismal track record. She had to futz about every client, like a schoolboy who is in love with a school girl. Court them. Buy them gifts. Treat them. BUY their affections.

    Busy and ineffective.

  • 2. I once had a chiropractor who lived inside the "field" that only his actions counted. He could benevolently bestow his generosity on you, or at will withhold it.

    And he did. I came to hate him with time. I don't answer his call when he calls, or his texts when he texts.

    With friends like that who needs enemies?

  • 3. Or my own example, where if you approach me as an equal I am up in arms. It's not pride, by the way, it's the field where I am the king and you are not.

    So when you approach me in the field, for example, of friends, or as a mother... I have to shout at you.

    And this is what occurs as "unkind". The modus operandi of the field, not a character flaw of mine.

    The character flaw is the inability to be flexible.

    And that is what we are learning, among others, in the course.

    And that is what all those kind characters were good at.

    And this is the most important thing I learned about Benjamin Franklin... that he was astute in identifying the "field" that was best to do life from, moment to moment. And he went far.

    From uneducated, penniless youth to a phenomenon. From never attending school to honorary doctor of two universities. Wow. A lot like my father.

PS: A few more things about the fields, about capacities...

  • 1. When you learn something new, with the intention of improving yourself, you will always experience the fault or the mistake or the error show up more. It is the nature of consciousness. It was always there but unnoticed.

    You have two choices: a. to keep on distinguishing it and eventually expand yourself so you actually grow. b. you resign. This is the way I am, take it or leave it.

  • 2. There is no inherently good field or bad field. There is only workability.

    Workability is god here... in my work. In what I am teaching.

    The Tree of Knowledge has a rigid view of good and evil. The Tree of Life considers living well more important. In fact the only thing that is important. Matching life well... which is what workability is.

    And you can't think your way to workability. You can practice your way to it. Yesterday's session was brilliant in that.

    I participated in a Psychodrama group back in the day... 40 years ago? lol.

    In one of the sketches I was the jilted lover... and through doing the sketch backwards and forwards I could see it from the perspective of all the other players, and could be OK with my lover's leaving.

    Realizing that I was locked into my narrow point of view about clients and readers interaction with me is just as dramatie as seeing wider, seeing the big picture 40 years ago. Freeing, and joyous.


  1. I am inclined to sell observer seats... meaning: access to the recordings, while the course is running. That way you can keep your finger on the pulse. Email me if interested. I don't know how long the course will run... it's had 4-5 sessions already. And it will run at least another 4-5 weekly sessions. I am thinking of $200 for the whole... and maybe give a 50% off for a few days... before I change my mind?

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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