If you can't measure it it doesn't exist.
The world's population is divided. A small part tries to get results through effort, and the large part is trying to sail on their innate abilities alone.
People in both parts have an ego. Ego is normal.
Ego can push you forward, or ego can hold you back.
This is exactly how it works in the two parts of the population.
- The people who want to live through effort, learning, challenges use their ego to push them forward.
- The other part... hell, they use their ego to get offended from criticism, to hide from challenges, and to make sure they maintain their self-image... whatever it may be.
I have, in my environment, people mostly from the second group.
One would think that only high IQ people would want to insist on staying the same, but surprisingly this is not what I see.
I see people with a functional intelligence of 70, who would not risk challenging themselves. Who wold not volunteer, ever, to do anything that they can fail at, be bad at, be clumsy at, or would need to learn anything for.
They may give a lot of lip-service to doing... but you already know:
- talking about flying isn't... only flying is flying.
- Only doing is doing.
- Only doing what is difficult is doing what is difficult.
It will never get easier by talking about it. In fact: the more you talk the scarier it becomes.
Almost everything you want is beyond the mountain range you need to climb.
A "normal" person's world can be described like this:
- They live in a world full of desires. Desire for a nice body, desire for a nice relationship. Desire for a good job that they enjoy to do. Desire for more money and what it can buy: travel, leisure, a nice car, nice places.
- Every single desire, whether it is verbalized, day-dreamed about, whether you see it in a magazine, an advertisement, or you put it into your mindmovie... is a thing you'll never get, 99.99% certain, because you would have to become the person who can have it.
Become... by earning it. By developing skills. By learning TO DO things.
What you earn, what you are willing to earn is a reflection on your skill level, your courage level, on your willingness and eagerness to learn new things, take risks, be vulnerable.
What you earn does not reflect on your self-worth, or your worth as a person.
I am not worth more than you because I know more, I have more skills, or I can do things you can't.
Worth is an Intrinsic Value. You were born with it, and you'll die with it.
What you can earn, what you can have, what you can control in the world doesn't depend on your intrinsic value, it depends on your Extrinsic Value.
All learning is a challenge to your self-image.
There is no learning that won't make you feel stupid, hopeless, clumsy, inferior, one time or another.
Maybe for a long time. And each new thing will be as hard as the previous new thing.
If your desire for what you want to learn is stronger than your desire to do something easy and immediately gratifying, you'll be able to get through it. Your heart's desire to win over your ego's desire.
If not... well, you know very intimately what that looks like. A life of self-hate.
OK, let's talk a little bit about self-love, shall we?
Your mother's approach to help you loving yourself has backfired.
Your mother considered her job to protect you from life. Maybe to bring you up to have a high self-esteem.
In the face of every difficulty, in the face of every challenge, every pain, every failure, your mother stood her ground, and said that there is nothing wrong with you... the wrong lies with the world, with your father, with the school, with the teacher, with other children.
And while there is nothing wrong with you, there was and is something wrong with what you do, your attitude, your behavior, etc... She didn't know and she never made that clear to you. That the gap between your heart's desire and what would get it for you: your behavior. Your actions. Not your IQ. Not your talents. Not your beauty.
Result: you are a sissy, entitled and angry, resentful. You are trying to sail through life on the strength of your mother's word against the world's... you are good enough the way you are, no change is needed or would even be beneficial.
The gap between who you are and who you need to be to attain the results you want to attain grows by the day.
I don't know where your mother learned to do what she did... but if you are a woman: you learned to do the same.
My mother did that with my brothers. They have very low TLB, both. She was neglectful with me. I have a high TLB
I was never told that I was good enough. Or that I was smart or pretty or good. I was told the opposite. And I was going to show it to her... She did not kill my desire to become all I can become.
That desire, to become all one can become, is innate for every person. EVERY person.
Ultimately your misery comes from the tension between this innate desire to become all you can become, and the learned desire to remain the same.
It is, this desire to remain the same, is a version of "learned helplessness".
It rewired you against your DNA, against your nature to become all you can be.
It is my job to help you to return to your innate desire and make it win.
As a coach, as a champion for returning you to the Original Design where you can grow and love it, I been disappointed that words cause no change. Even reading ANY BOOK hasn't made a difference. Not at all.
That is, unless you grew up in Father-Child, and didn't have an overly protective mother... like myself, or like my students who are thriving.
Reluctantly, I am calling in on energies again. Activating DNA capacities. To help your heart's desire win over the ego (learned) desire to be safe and invulnerable.
Question: if I got you to commit to a growth process, learning to do something that you have been wanting to learn, but haven't... Where learning to do it would be a big win for your heart's desire...
- Writing your dissertation so you can get closure and be able to move on.
- Writing a bunch of songs so you can prove it to yourself that you can.
- Getting a job where you need to know finances but would be able to help people like you have always wanted.
- Falling in love with your job.
- Starting a business and winning and loving it
- Maybe public speaking.
- Maybe learning tap-dancing.
- Maybe getting rid of the hoarded junk in your house.
Being assisted by coaching and energies.
I have found that being immersed in the transformative energies of the Unconditional Love Activator is almost enough. But not quite. Not for everybody.
If you live in the field "mother-child" because your mother made you feel safe in an unsafe world with a bully of a father, the Unconditional Love Activator is misunderstood by your mind: you think it is soothing.
But the Unconditional Love activator is really designed to make your ego let go of the fixed self-image, and allow you to grow, to try new things, to feel stupid and still be loved.
NOT to be safe, stay safe and dead and stay the same.
The learned helplessness made you cowardly.
I don't know if you know, but cowardly dogs bite.
When I measure your typical behavior to feedback, I can tell if you are a "cowardly" biting person. If you have courage deficiency.
Flare up. Growl. Protest. Justify. Explain... are all levels of this cowardly reception of feedback.
All signs of courage deficiency.
It takes courage to grow. Because growth, every step of the way, is a series of actions and feedbacks.
If your relationship to feedback is "typical", you won't grow.
And surprisingly it is all courage deficiency.
You need courage to see, to compare, to examine the feedback. You need courage to keep your mind and eyes open to see where you have fallen short. You need courage to adjust your actions, take the adjusted actions and see where they take you... to the next feedback.
Feedback is not only from another person. The world gives you feedback.
For decades the world was telling me: we don't care how much you know... we care how much you care!
And I didn't... I didn't care at all. I loved humanity and hated people... It's been hard, arduous, painful to change.
The world gave me feedback:
- you can be smart, you can be good, but unless you move your body, you'll be a cripple.
- You can lie, but you can't hide... Unless you look the part... no one believes you.
- All the knowledge won't help you unless... Unless you do something with it.
Honestly, feedback from people is easier to take. It's faster, and it is more instructive.
So, that is am I offering. Instructive feedback with energetic support.
I am offering you an experimental program for 30 days. It is long enough to see if you respond favorably. And it is short enough to dislodge you if you are inclined to be dislodged from your fixed mindset position.
What does it entail?
It has two parts:
- 1. create a project of learning that has been long overdue
- 2. plan your actions
- 3. take your actions
- 1. daily use of the Unconditional Love Activator, infused in your drinking water
- 2. daily activation of your courage done by me, at the start of MY day.
Advising you on mindset, attitude, etc...
I'll also measure your starting point measurements at the beginning and the end as well. I expect your numbers to go up...
Total cost: $99. You first have to set up your system to infuse the activator to your drinking water.
The tuition automatically renews after 30 days for $64/month, unless you cancel. You'll feel if it is working or not... And you can discuss with me any time.
What if you are in the Reclaim program? Sorry, this offer is not available to you. Talk to me about options there...
What if you already have the Unconditional Love Activator audio?
You still need this... Need the coaching. Need the courage activation. You'll get the $35 taken out, so you'll pay $64 for your 21 days.
The tuition automatically renews after 30 days for $64/month, unless you cancel. The tuition automatically renews after 30 days for $64/month, unless you cancel. You'll feel if it is working or not... And you can discuss with me any time.
This is a limited time offer. The actual value is at least five times bigger. So I will raise the price, periodically, until the price reflects the value more accurately.
Please keep in mind: this is a co-creative process. Your success will depend mainly on your actions. I can only support you, energetically and cognitively, in your success. I can't DO it for you.
Here is an excellent TED talk, that will probably help you in seeing how this, the fixed mindset is a courage deficiency symptom.
Judging from the runaway popularity of Brene Brown and her books and talks, people recognize themselves in what she is talking about. But does it make a difference? Muscle test says: no. Not at all.
And this is why I am experimenting with this program. To see if activating courage in your DNA, while you are struggling to do something new in your life that would reveal your shame... if that can work... or not.