But from time to time a client, a student reminds me…
And that’s exactly what happened: a client, recently separated, an all around great guy wrote:
I looked to at what i might be hanging onto without noticing..
could grief or despair have some part of it? I used to find myself listening to music about sadness and hard times and used to think about sadness a lot. I used to almost create it in relationships with anyone, family/ friends/ myself.
I connected to him, deeply, and there it was: a whole lake of sadness that he was circling…
I call the lake the doom, and the rope that ties you to it: anchor to doom.
Nearly every person has it. Some profound loss, some profound threat that you circle like a vortex, and your whole life is tied to it… you are not free.
It can be pulled, just like an energetic attachment, and then you are able to look around and stop circling… unless you consciously choose to.
I instantly recognized it. My doom was just like his… and as I was circling it, it was an almost sexual experience, the desire going back to the womb… of going back to where I wasn’t alone. Or consuming another… like a womb… Alternating.
I used to say: I want to go home… no matter where I was
When I first connected to Source in 1984-ish, in Jerusalem, and again, this time consciously, back in 2011. I haven’t quite disconnected since.
The experience of connecting is still going home, then being at home.
I stopped having the weird sexual wanting to gobble up/return to the womb desires… 1
I would still like to talk to people, from time to time, who I can share myself with.
Is everyone like that? Desire, crave to connect? Muscle test says: yes.
My hunch is that the soul wants to be in touch with home. ET go home… lol.
According to Kabbalah, the soul goes home when you sleep. But my experience is that the soul needs you to create the connection, the soul cannot make it out of your energy… and therefore it tries to make YOU do something to connect. Nudge, nudge.
This is as much part of wanting to commune with another human, as lust… maybe more. Sex isn’t doing it… because we can’t even connect to the other person… we are so busy experiencing what we are experiencing, wanting what we want… spiritually.
Anyway, maybe because I never felt loved, I never felt accepted, I had this desire closer to the surface, maybe because I am an empath, maybe, maybe, maybe…
The why doesn’t matter much, the only thing that matters is that if you can, you want to connect to Source. And if you can’t… you still want to connect to Source.
Does it raise your vibration? No, it doesn’t.
So what does it do?
OK, here is my humble opinion again… because i actually don’t know. But my hunch is that it removes a layer or yearning, a layer of “unfulfillment” that keeps you hostage, that keeps you going back to “people” for unconditional love, for companionship, even though every time the only thing you get is a big fat nothing, or a big fat disappointment.
Humans cannot give you and your soul that “home” feeling. Home is where you don’t have to do anything, where you only have to be.
My experience with people is that they want you to do things… and that immediately takes us out: out of home.
I used to teach people to connect, but it was a thankless job, and it was very time consuming. The videos I still have can teach you. The stumbling block is: you cannot connect from the mind. If you do: you’ll connect to some imaginary space, man created… not home for the soul. Not satisfying, not home.
Another hunch, totally untested is this: once you can tell, through the Amish Horse Training Method, who you are not… what you are not… connecting will be a breeze, a no-brainer, easy as pie.
Fully aware, fully home… none of the mind, none of the “gone fishing” symptoms many people associate with connecting.
Then you’ll be able to sleep with the pilot light of the consciousness always on… no effort. Like me. and will stop having the constant sense that something is missing… stop overeat, stop being addicted to “fun” and “sex” and entertainment.
You, left to your own devices, will become a human… and then a human being.
- I have been pondering for years what it is that some people, some countries’ inhabitants copulate and breed like rabbits. I think the issue lies in their inability to see that the desire may be spiritual, and not physical… The world would be much less overpopulated if those countries started to connect to the spiritual dimension, not just pretend to do so.