I do both.
I am most interested in their habitual way of thinking, responding, decision making, and attitude.
Sometimes they know themselves, but more often than not they don’t know themselves that well… do not see much into the invisible…
If I see a habit that I want for myself, even if I see it clearly, I still have the difficulty of integrating it… it is not enough to see it.
Integration means it becomes part and parcel with me and my structure. But each habit forces me to find a crack, an opening in my structure, or I won’t be able to integrate it.
This is how it was for me with walking and the 67 steps. They are now a unit. I don’t do one without the other. The two together nudge me. I also connected it with restlessness, tiredness, or needing to fill my vessel, a kind of “I have nothing to contribute” feeling. It comes like clockwork, I can count on it. So instead of going to the coffee as I used to, now I just put on my headsets, and head out. Oh, brush my teeth first.
Brushing my teeth used to be forgotten often… I live alone… so now my teeth are brushed at least twice a day.
You see I am connecting and building on an activity I am already doing, or to a feeling I will definitely have.
I do a lot of sitting, and a weakened hip joint, or whatever is amiss in my right leg. So every time i prepare my coffee, or a meal, I stand on one foot consciously balancing, for 30-40-50-60 seconds. It loosens up something, So I have noticed that my gait is improving, and my walks are less painful. My goal is to be able to walk 3-4 miles at a clip.
I have made an agreement with my body to alert me if I and when I need to do something. And it does.
Because underneath of all success, there are these spiritual/intangible capacities that are the scaffold of success.
Wallace D. Wattles says that every part of an action has to be done with power. but for power to be there, awareness needs to be there. And no resistance.
So what does it take to awaken, activate these spiritual capacities?
A lot. Invested, consistently, with regularity, without resistance.
Here are a few examples:
To become a doctor, a medical doctor, you have to develop, activate 20 capacities. The more discomfort, effort, victory over comfort and resistance you need to succeed, the more capacities open up.
To become a chiropractor you only need 13 capacities to open up.
To become an engineer: 10
To become an architect in Hungary: 20. Muscle test says: 20 in any country…
Obviously your TLB grows parallel with your capacities…
It’s all about deferred gratification. Having room for unpleasant feelings, unpleasant thoughts, unpleasant everything, and do what you need to do. Regardless.
When you read an article of the 10 habits of blah blah blah, you can, if the article is good, pick one habit, and commit to it. Long term.
But please know, unless you use that one habit to activate consistency, the capacity, unless you use that one habit to activate the seeing the big picture both in time and space… you’ll be like a flash in the pan.
Even one habit can start to revolutionize your life, if you commit.
But… unless you have some integrity, integrity or better said the lack of it will fail you.
I have a pdf in the members area, an integrity checklist. You have to be a member to see it.
Lots of people have downloaded it, and I have seen little if any improvement as a result.
Watch yourself what you do with it. If downloading it fills you with some pleasant feelings, you need to curtail it: only doing the checklist, regularly will make any difference.
Regularly, I said. Every week… Do a step or to, and maintain it.
Because without integrity nothing works. So you can have brains, you can have style, you can have connections, and your life still won’t work, unless you also have integrity.
Integrity is an inside job. It’s between you and you. No pretense will compensate for no integrity, because you can’t hide from yourself.
No sweeping where people can see it will help. 3
And your higher self won’t allow you to have stuff, or a good life, or love, or health, unless you honor your word as yourself.
No shortcuts. No pills. No energy can do it for you.
Only you can do it for yourself.
- or in the case of Babe the pig, learn to become a sheepdog… A sheepdog can talk to the sheep and the sheep obeys… but how do you learn that?!
- One of the most significant things that happened to me in my life is this: My mother shared with me that my oldest niece was misbehaving. My mother told her that if she continues she’d become like me. And my niece, Eszter said: oh, that would be good. I want to become like her.
That was my first experience of being approved of by someone who was a relative. Being chosen as a role model is the biggest acknowledgment a person can have. Imitation is the sincerest flattery.
My niece didn’t know how to model, she had no contact with me… So she chose, in the end, to be ordinary. She died a few years ago. She left two lovely daughters, a husband, and my brother who is now the “mother” to those girls… Her death made a difference. It completely made my brother accessible, almost human. And for that I am very grateful. I love my brother. I loved him even when he just growled at me for 60 years. Now we talk, share ideas, maybe even a few laughs. I am weeping as I am writing this.
Being accepted, valued for who you are is probably the most important thing you can have… but most of us want to be valued the way we are, and are unwilling to become someone who can be valued… So partially this article is about that: become someone who can be valued.
- By the way, you hired me if you have, because I have X-ray eyes and see under the rug…