Growth feels good... and yet, most of the people I know are either stagnating because they don't put themselves in a situation where they need to grow, or they put themselves in the courses and seminars and coaching programs to grow, but they don't grow because ...
Well, what comes after that "because" is what this article is about.
I participated in Landmark Education for 26 years, and went from seminar to seminar, from course to course, from training program to training program. Without any break, without any time given myself to even know what the heck I learned.
In any 3-year period I did 20 programs, including seminars, coaching programs, coaching in programs, courses... In another 3-year period I did only 3. What happened?
Good question. I grew.
The way you grow a muscle is this: one day you use/overuse a muscle, the next day you allow it to rest, and repeat.
People who follow the pattern I followed for the first 25 years leading up to the one year, when I grew, actually NEVER grow. They use seminars as a strategy to avoid growing. I was guilty of this, myself. Secretly, in my heart, I knew that my parents were right, that no matter what I did, I would not amount to much.
One day Tellman didn't show up, but students were there, and the settings were that we could talk to each other... Slowly we struck up a conversation and she said that she could wipe away people's negative thoughts. I was desperate for my negative thoughts to go away.
I was living with pretenses, including the pretense, that some one day day I was going to use all I'd learned... but that one day never came, and life was horrible: I hated myself. Recognize yourself?
I booked her for a private session, and from that one session I suddenly saw that maybe I had been wrong, and maybe there was something I still could do with my life.
I had been coaching Landmark introduction leaders effectively, because I could feel where their voice was coming from, and instruct them to speak from their belly, so they can be, so they can sound more authentic, and produce better results.
Later I enrolled in Pam's eight-month program she was teaching how to drive this new me, that was now a Ferrari instead of a jalopy.
I never doubted again that I could do it. I stopped going to every seminar that was offered, I even cancelled two seminars I fully paid for. I started to work, and work purposefully.
Much worked on myself and my life like one works on a jugsaw puzzle when one had the box showing the finished picture... fully knowing that all the pieces are there, and it only takes TIME and patience to put it all together.
A dream life begins with that box cover... and that certainty that you can do it.
- Some people can see it themselves,
- some people are lucky: some committed coach or partner sees it for them.
If you see that you are you still going to all the seminars, reading all the books, buying all the programs, but the results you show for all that learning are meager to say the least?
You are really not alone...
The natural way to grow, is to grow in spurts, and then consolidate. Grow intensely, and then harvest the benefits (use the knowledge) until the growth almost starts to slow down. The start it all over again.
So how can you do that in my programs, with my programs?
Secret two is: create smaller box covers (accomplishment you plan for) in the Discussion forum.
Life will want to interfere... like someone will die... like you'll have a fight with a spouse or a teacher... suddenly you get divorced... suddenly your business gets very busy...
All are signs that you are on the right track.
But like every committed listener, they listen, keenly, if you were just talking, or if you actually committed yourself, committed to certain actions.
Most of you say everything the same way... use the same works, same tone of voice, so it is hard to hear your intention... and how much power you put behind your words.
So what does life do? It rolls some boulders in your way... you climb over it? It is worth listening to you. You stop? You are full of sh*t: not worth listening to you.
Your integrity number corresponds to this...
There is no growth without challenging yourself, there is no growth without integrity.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
There is only one way... consider it a muscle... and start doing "muscle building" on that muscle... challenge it, daily, and make sure you pay attention to consolidate the gains. We call that process: powerful debriefing. I promised to do X... I did Y.
No guilt, no blame, just the facts.
The discussion forum is a good place to do it. It's public but not VERY public.