We all want to know where we are doing, what we are going to do there, we want to make sure we’ll be happy there.
What business to start. What book to read. What to get curious in.
But here is the problem: dots can only be connected backwards. There have to be dots! And forward there are no dots.
This is why almost all grand strategies are bound to fail or become a disappointment.
It’s cold but sunny today, so I went out for a walk. I ran into a woman who was walking her dog. I know her somewhat. In the brief time that I have known her, she adopted two Chinese girls, started and dissolved a ceramics business, started working in not for profit…
Her older daughter is looking at colleges, and is frustrated. She doesn’t know what she wants.
Her parents want her to be squared away….
For her sake? No, for their own. They don’t want to have to worry about her future.
But she wants to meet her parents expectations of her… so she will be forced into a decision that probably won’t work for her.
I have had four major careers… and the worst was the first that my parents gave their blessings to… architecture.
I liked the subsequent professions more… and I am happiest now. I can connect the dots now: each change, each profession, each good and bad experience lead up to now… doing what I am doing now, fully able to do something unique that no one else can do.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. I can see that as I am so is the world I see: OK… it is all in a day’s work, and I love to work. Any work. Sick? broken wrist? pain in doing things? Misplaced my wallet? It is all in a day’s work… it will work itself out.
I can feel a great “upgrade” coming in my business, but I don’t have the dots to connect… so I do what I can.
I research, I love the students I have, I do for them all I can, I write my articles, and I am in no hurry. The right steps, the right words, the right format will show its face when it is ready, or when I am ready.
I see clients in inaction… they don’t like where they are at, but they don’t really want to risk a wrong step, or grinding anything out…
When you don’t change, life cannot change. You only change when you have the courage to do stuff that you have no reason to do… read books, practice accountability, listen to the same audio ten times, try to take notes, memorize the new words, take udemy or Khan academy classes, ask people the five questions…
All have a chance to change you if you stick with them.
I have a next door neighbor who have changed. I watched her. In the beginning she was faking till she made it. She was practicing caring about me. And today, as she came out to wave to me in the cold, I saw that she did make it… finally she authentically cared about me.
Really proud of her.
Two years it took, almost three… However long it takes… really. I am not religious, but the saying: it is not at your time, it is at god’s time… is brilliant.
It’s counter to base human nature… but when you remember it, it can be a blessing. And you can start doing the first thing you didn’t want to do because you didn’t know where you were heading.
You’ll know when you know… Now, please, just build dots… to connect.