There must be something wrong, because I don't fit in, I am not loved, I am not doing what I should be doing, I am not succeeding.
But being enough doesn't mean your actions, your attitudes are a match to reality...
If you want a different life: you don't need to change: your worldview has to change.
In a wheat field, a rose is a weed—even if that rose is voluptuous and vibrant. Translation: it's your sacred duty to identify the contexts in which you can thrive and then put yourself in those contexts.
If and when your actions, your attitudes come from your "something must be wrong, or else I would have what I want" worldview, the worldview that anyone can use to manipulate you with, your life sucks.
Your actions/your attitudes are not appropriate to reality, not what actions/attitudes would work, or not what would be enough to work.
All your actions, all your attitudes are based on your worldview. Inaccurate worldview results in inaccurate attitudes, inaccurate actions.
The worldview is simply HOW you see the world, including yourself. Said in another way: your worldview is what you consider real, what you say reality is like. We could say: YOUR PERSONAL REALITY, but not reality.
Worldview is all about reality! Or it's about made up stuff... i.e. unreality.
Unless your worldview changes, your life will continue to suck, and you will be everyone's toy... Guaranteed.
Your worldview was created, truly created, by an upset three-year old... four year old... rarely older than seven year old child, whose infantile-will-to-power was thwarted...
The decision that child made about life, about themselves, and about what works and what he should do, is what is a worldview.
Honestly, whether you think there is an all-seeing god, or gods... is not really what worldview is.
When I ask the question, of Source, how much your "spiritual belief of a higher power" weighs in your worldview... god, no god, the answer I get: 10%. Or not much.
If you created a worldview at that young age, a worldview that says that you are too puny to protect yourself, get anything done, don't even bother, and many have, you'll wait for salvation, protection, help from outside, and you'll turn to some god or wait for god or a parent, or the government... and will never attempt to do for yourself, or help yourself.
If you created a worldview where someone or something will smite you because you are bad, you also probably have another move of that same machine where you are so good, it is not even funny. And you'll be judgmental, and pious, and dogooder while you are waiting in the corner cowering, waiting to be smitten. By anything... including some god, or anything.
When I listen to the partner calls, the Playground partners go over their actions in an incident, past or recent, the most important thing I see is that they don't doubt that what they did, what they concluded, what attitude they had was the right attitude, and there is nothing that they could have concluded differently.
The job of the Playground is to transform the past, so you can have a different future.
Everyone, without exception, concluded in their past story, that they were mistreated, that they were a victim. A hapless victim.
Hapless means unfortunate... in addition to hapless, they experienced themselves powerless... meaning they saw nothing that they could have done, thought, said to influence what was happening.
The truth, when we look at it, the truth I can see from where I look from, a place that is different from their fixed perspective, I can see, in every story, all the things that they didn't do, didn't consider, didn't say.
The capacity that is needed to alter the past is the capacity of ownership, the capacity of causing, the capacity to take responsibility for what belongs to you, what you can do, think, you conclude, your attitude.
Even if it is decades later.
I had to do the same exact thing: cause transformation in MY incidents.
What is transformation? It is causing a different view of the same thing. Nothing in the outside changes, but what you see is yet different.
The "transformation" pictures of weight loss are NOT transformation, they are the opposite of transformation: they are pictures of change.
Change, the transitive word, is NOT transformation, change is fixing. Even though the view changes when transformation happened.
If I carry the first view of reality into the second view, no transformation will happen. I will see the second view and the first view together...
So if the first view tells me: I was a powerless, blameless victim, then I will remain that in the second view, unless I am willing to let go of the first view.
This, letting go of the first view, is the crux of the matter. That is the only way you can truly SEE the new view.
Rigid insistence on the veracity of that first view is the ONLY issue people who are unable or unwilling to experience a shift in their worldview, and consequently a shift in the life they lead.
Changing what you do without changing what you see is coating turd with chocolate, serving it for dessert. Not what you wanted.
The ultimate issue is the foundation of every worldview nowadays: that there is something wrong. That you are wrong, they are wrong, or it is wrong. That the only thing you can do is fixing what is wrong.
And then your life will be a series of fixing, all creating the bigger problems, as it is the nature of fixing.
The goal of the Playground is to show you that there was never anything wrong with you, anything wrong with the other, anything wrong with what happened.
Most people are stuck in their own self-centered child age intellectual level, where anything they don't like is wrong. Bad. Should not be.
You need to grow up, and you need to grow up fast. You living a life as a little kid won't get you the results you want... no matter how hard you try to fix yourself, fix the world... no chance.
Of all the people, all the disciplines, none tells you how to have a different worldview. Dr Popper, the Hungarian psychologists suggests reading and pondering... It works to a degree, but it doesn't change the fundamental elements of the worldview: there is something wrong.
His method raised his vibration to 300... but it got stuck there.
I know tons of people who want a successful business... but they are stuck at the age of 3-4 years old. No chance... the 3-4 year old will never be able to build and run a successful business. A 4-5 year old child will have a fundamentally self-centered approach to life... where they are either meek or forceful, but either way they are powerless... throwing their weight this way or that... but no power.
Power is making things happen. It is a sliding scale, of course. The amount of power is demonstrated by making things happen to one degree of another.
In a situation, in a business, in a relationship, with yourself... your health, your money, your time, and people and things.
When I scratch the surface of every incident, what I have been finding there is the child feeling powerless.
- Powerful means: making things happen. Like unlocking a door with the matching key.
- Powerless means: trying different options that are not a match... so that door stays locked. Forcing, sweet talking, getting angry, shouting, promising, boasting, judging, complaining, sounding really smart, hardworking, getting pretty, being pretty, explaining, justifying, being meek, being grateful, being better than anyone, being stingy, being resistant, insisting that only you can do anything... none of those are sound strategies to unlock the lock. Only unlocking the lock unlock the lock.
Not powerful is not wrong. Powerful is not good. They are assessment, on a sliding scale, of how fast and how effectively someone makes things happen.
I am observing the leader of the free world... and if I had the time, if it were worth to me, I could easily diagnose his actions, his attitudes, and know exactly what his worldview is...
A worldview, that is not accurate, is the cause of misery. and your low vibration. Your ineffectiveness. Your reactivity. Your stuck attitude.
The more inaccurate your worldview, and the more you insist on it being reality, the more miserable you are, and the more ineffective in life.
I hate to be the one to tell you.
PS: even though it seems like an instant... the name of the course, Instant Coherence relates not to the process of creating a new world view, it relates to the life situations where suddenly you have access to the new worldview you created to empower yourself.
I looked at old recordings, the people who created a life-affirming new worldview, and looked where they are now.
All the people I have revisited have forgot to feed the "good" wolf at some point.
Then years later she decided that she needed to make money with her art... She changed the game... and that removed the joy, the passion... she became this "I want to make money but don't want to do what it takes to make money. The world isn't fair" person.
And she still is. You cannot switch to the "bad" (default) wolf worldview, and expect the "good" wolf to thrive...
She is again sullen, angry, hateful, spiteful. The invented worldview gave her a few good years, but didn't take care of money, or what it would mean to her.
This is a long process, and needs to be repeated as life changes, and new circumstances arise hat are not fully covered by the new worldview.
You have two options: you say: I hate to put work into changing my worldview! I don't think I need to do this... and continue living inside the machine, unhappy, with moments of brilliance, moments to happiness.
Or surrender to how it works, and watch the worldview... and make sure you notice, early on, that the new worldview isn't including something that became important to you.
Dr Popper says, in Hungarian, that everything that has any relevance to our lives happens in silence, unnoticed, unobserved. You get sick, unhappy, old, unsuccessful, ineffective, with broken relationships, without you noticing the process. He calls that blindness. You are busy doing things, paying attention to loud things, and paying no attention to the "invisible dynamics of life" until it is too late.
I measure these in the two awareness numbers in my Starting Point Measurements... inner and outer awareness. The lower these numbers, the faster you'll forget about the invisible, about everything that has any relevance to your life.
My awareness is relative high: my numbers are 80% inner awareness, and 70% outer awareness. So I can catch the downward spiral relatively fast.
Of course, all the awareness is not sufficient if you can't tell that you are paying attention to unreality because you don't know what is real.
In the attraction programs, positive thinking, manifestation, etc. people are taught to pay attention to unreality... so their awareness is occupied with unreality, basically b.s. And even when they come to me, they bring THAT worldview with them... and are holding onto it like it is their lifeline.
Oh well, stupid as the stupid does.
PS: in this video from youtube... can you detect a worldview that can make the woman in the video miserable?