Create through others…
So before we consider communication, we need to look what is power?
Simply, power is the speed with which we can take a thought or an idea to fulfillment. Creation.
What idea? That is immaterial… Any idea.
If you want something built, if you want to master something, if you want to sell something, if you want someone to love you… these are all ideas. And between the idea and it being built, being mastered, sold, or you being loved… power will assist you… if you have it. Or you’ll do it like a pedestrian… slowly or not at all. Or with force… ugh.
Real communication is undistinguishable from magic
Real communication is action… with measurable results…
If communication is action… with measurable results, then we need to look at communication as we look at anything where we measure productivity: producing a result with a degree of reliability.
Just like in producing any results… you’ll produce or you’ll just blow hot air
- your results will depend, largely, on your attitude: your attitude towards the task, and your attitude towards yourself.
- the order in which you do the tasks influences your results, and therefore your productivity. What you do first and what you do second…
- something needs to be more important than something else… and you’ll either honor that or not… and your results will show that lack.
- your skill level, your ability to see the big picture, your ability to use carrot and stick effectively, you’ll have compliance or non-compliance… you’ll communicate or you’ll just talk.
- some strategies, some approaches, some skills cause more productivity… same in communication.
- The 80/20 rule applies to communication just as it applies to productivity: most of what we say is part of the unproductive 80%, and often prevent us from saying the 20%, that has, at least a chance to produce the results…
- And when we evaluate our performance, what we blame the present and ineffective 80%.
I will, as is my habit, do a communication workshop, as a developmental course, only for my students… and I will continue refining it, tweaking it until I get it to the level or certainty where I can offer it to the general public… if I’ll have time. If I’ll choose to do it… Big if…
The most important angle for this course will be personal authority: to make others want to do what you want them to do…
Personal authority: make others WANT to do what you want them to do
That, most likely will include yourself… make yourself want to do what you want yourself to do… which is a funky way to say that you want to have personal authority with yourself as well.
This is what people need more than anything, by the way.
The most frequent request I have is for the eliminating procrastination activator. Why? Because people don’t want to do what they want to do… they are split, they are powerless with themselves.
So being able to make yourself WANT to do what you want yourself to do would be a huge gift…
We’ll bring to the course what we learned in my other courses:
- what is your fixed way of being in life when things are not working,
- crucial: what are your expectations that you are not interacting with reality?
- what are your frustrations even though you are not doing anything much?
- what are you not saying… that if you said it, you would see how nasty it is.
- how you make your racket run amok… How the racket is using your life force to get you a big fat drama instead of results, instead of self-love, so you’ll continue to have no health, no wealth, no fulfillment.
Only when you can own fully, allow fully what uses your life, that you’ll be ready to learn to make things happen… both in communication and by doing…
Q: How long should this course be?
It should be as long as it takes…
Q: How should I price it?
I should price it low for my students… so they all can participate.
An important element of a course, any course, is the title: what it promises.
Back in the fall of 1987 I did a course called ‘Productivity as Accomplishment‘
It was an inexpensive course, three evenings, one week apart. It was a video course facilitated by some guy.
In it there were many exercises to show how ineffective our current level of communication was. The central piece of the course was to pick someone for whom you want to cause productivity.
Of course that was a little disappointing to me, after all I wanted to learn to cause my own productivity… but I surrendered, what the heck, and I picked a guy. A guy I didn’t particularly care for. A person whose increase in productivity wasn’t going to matter to me. I was stingy as we all are…
I picked Len Church. He was a black dude from a Caribbean island, Trinidad. I knew him from Landmark. He had a driving service for sick people, to drive them to doctors’ appointments.
In the course we were asked to DECLARE ourselves, in fact our Self, as an accountability for our person.
For me this was: ‘Who I am is the accountability for Len Church’s productivity‘
The highest level in integrity, the third tier: Honor your Word as your Self…
Not your name, not you story, not your concerns, not your psychology, not your profession… not all the things you know how to be. No. Your Word.
I got home and I called Len, and told him. He got really angry and threatened me. I said… I don’t care what you say, who I am is the accountability for your productivity… period.
Of course I was scared, all the beatings of my childhood were right there… But I stuck to my new identity, my new Self. I was doing it for me… not him.
Next day he came to my house and put his big brown fist under my nose… and yet I didn’t change my mind.
A week later he called me to report to me on some unexpected results. I said: OK.
Two weeks later he asked me to marry him… His results in his business were through the roof.
I said no, thank you… and that was it.
The course was over, and with that I stopped identifying myself as the accountability for his productivity… To prove the power of accountability, his productivity went back to nothing.
By the way, my results weren’t typical… Mighty few people have enough integrity on the first two tiers of ‘integrity: the power of your word‘ to produce a result on the third tier.
Now, what does this course and the totally unexpected, unintended result have to do with communication?
80% of communication is not words. After all I didn’t talk to Len Church, I didn’t tell him what to do… And yet, it was communication that produced the result.
Communication is not talking. Communication is in the invisible realm. This is why it is so hard to teach. It requires self-awareness, insights, honesty, responsibility, a sense of balance. All a rare commodity.
For example, if you have a number 2 in your soul correction, you have a serious problem with balance… you want more than you want to give… and your communication will suffer as a result.
Without the training in my other courses, without the discoveries about yourself in my other courses you’ll never become like the dog-mother in that youtube video…
When I listen to my students, the most missing ingredient for a successful life IS communication… Not talk. Mind you, you talk enough, really.
In fact you talk too much.
And as long as you think talking is communication, you are spending all your energy on the ineffective 80%, while none on the crucial 20%.
The 20% of all speaking, the parts that are effective are very very very few words. And they are different from all the rest. NOT ordinary speaking.
Watch the dog mother bark only a few times… And watch yourself yapping away…
We are like trained monkeys… being trained to do well what doesn’t matter. Big sigh…
And another video: how a dog father is different from you or your father: a dog father TRAINS the pups to first follow him, trust him, and then follow him into the water…
But this is NOT how you live, is it? Not your teachers either, do they?
Today everyone tells you what to do, people, courses, and then leave you alone. No trust is built. Not in them. Not in the process. And not in yourself.
Priceless lesson of COMMUNICATION… even though the dog didn’t say a word, did he?
Speaking the language of life… showing how easy it is to get in and get out… NEVER forcing anyone to obey…
Making it worth for them, for reasons of THEIR OWN.
This is how it looks in life what communication is:
Make others WANT to do what you want them to do.
So… Yesterday I held a little demonstration. How did it go? Obviously it could not go well. I took a part of the course, a part in the middle… but, I hope, it gave a taste of what is to come in the Communication Workshop.
If you may like to be part of the Workshop… it is not available yet, you can sign up to a special group where I’ll do regular small segments, so you can decide that when the course becomes available, you want to buy or not.
No commitment to buy the course is required, simple interest is enough… And a token of appreciation: $5 a month. What you are buying is an occasional webinar here and there, an article on communication, etc. It is worth more… but that is not really what you pay for. What you really pay for, from my vantage point is the right to buy the course when it’s ready… I won’t accept anyone not part of this $5 a month group. Why? Because I won’t.
I am interested in communication!