Warning: I do not call weight loss transformation… getting smaller, eating less, eating different is not transformation… and you may need transformation to change…
Do not continue if you are here for weight loss advice, please…
In certain areas I am just about to break through: certain areas are harder than others.
Your transformation will never be even, the same degree in every area, so don’t even expect it.
My area is money, and it’s been a hard nut to crack.
For you it is probably some other area… For example John: his area is anything that takes risk… for others it is sharing themselves, telling the truth, risking sounding stupid… the areas are as varied as people.
But regardless of the area, the methodology is the same:
Transformation is bringing the invisible into the visible.
One of the invisibles is that you get something out of being stuck.
The payoff and the Cost of staying the same
What kinds of stuff do you get out of it… after all being stuck is bad? Not entirely. I have heard of people that do things just to get back to jail: board and lodging guaranteed. So you see, being stuck is not all bad. It is true that they don’t get to watch what they want on TV… but they also don’t have to pay for it. Not with money… that is.
In life, you always pay for what you get.
So what are the things we hold onto that keep us stuck?
There are two kinds of “payoffs”,
- you get something, you look good, you get to dominate the people around you, you get to win every conversation, attention, whatnot.
- you get to avoid something: taking a risk, looking foolish, being wrong, losing, being blamed, being responsible for how life turns out.
Most people that I know have the second kind of payoff when we look into their stuck states.
And most want to avoid the risk that life is, when it’s unfamiliar.
The payoff is only one side of the equation: you need to pay for what you get.
Your currency is your health, your happiness, your relationships: intimacy and love, your fulfillment, your finances.
Until you value your health, your happiness, your relationships: intimacy and love, your fulfillment, your finances higher than you value safety, the familiar, you will continue being stuck, while you pretend that you want to move, that you want to change, that you want to raise your vibration.
The Ultimate Test
I have a favorite movie and a favorite character, but the movie is not for everybody, so you will need to find your own favorite movie and favorite character.
My favorite character is Irina Palm (pseudonym) from the movie of the same name.
This middle-aged British housewife chooses to take care of her grandson who is dying of a potentially curable disease, by becoming a sex worker to raise the money for the cure. The parents of the child just complain, but she takes action.
When I get to a cross-road where I need to do something that is not comfortable, I ask myself the question: Is it really important to me? Is it at least as important as the grandson for Irina Palm? Would I be willing to become a sex worker for it?
If the answer is no, then I am not ready, or the thing is not important enough (yet) to me.
It takes time to get ready… and you really need to ask the question truthfully, so the answer will tell the truth.
Most people, like the parents of the dying child, will complain, but do nothing.
If your life were that dying child, would you be the parents or the grandmother.
That is the question you need to answer to yourself. When you answer that question, truthfully, you will know what you are made of.
And if you choose to be like the grandmother, then that needs to be more than just cheap talk: you need to do the action that scares you.
That is The Ultimate Test.